low self-esteem post-uni

I seem to be locked in this horrible cycle at the moment. I've never been the most confident person, but the last few months after graduating uni have knocked what little self-belief I did have.

I was, like so many people here, always one of those high achievers - got great grades at school, went to Cambridge - always believed that if I worked hard enough, I would be able to get where I wanted to be.

But life post-uni is so difficult to navigate. Quite apart from missing university and having all my friends around, I've completely failed to get a real (i.e non-temping) job. I want to work in literary stuff, so it's not as if there's a graduate recuitment process or anything - it's lots of speculative apps, doing work experience, etc. The problem is, the longer I fail to get interviews, the worse I feel about myself, and the harder it is to persuade myself that it's worth even appling. I've started to assume failure...and of course that's no way to persuade other people I might be good enough to work for them.

This is all bad enough, but it's starting to affect my relationships with my friends as well. I just feel so generally worthless that I've stopped believing anyone could be interested in what I say. So quite a lot of the time I just don't say anything. And the less I say, the harder I find it to start any kind of conversation. It's got to the point where I've stopped making arrangements to meet up with friends, and started declining invitations to go out, because I'm so sure I'm going to be dull or have nothing to say - and that I'll feel even worse as a result. I think my friends just assume I'm busy trying to write job apps or seeing other people.

I just feel like this is getting out of control - I can't see a way of getting myself out of this downwards spiral, short of getting a job - which just isn't happening.

And I feel like my friends are utterly fed up of hearing about how I can't get a job, or how miserable I feel. I don't want to inflict it on them any more. But what can I do? I just feel more and more isolated.

Sorry. This is long. And is probably mostly just me needing to vent somewhere. Thanks for reading, if you got this far.

Reply 1

IzzyWizzy

Well think of it this way - you're in a better position than most people, having gone to Cambridge and think how many non-Oxbridge grads get great jobs in that field. Have you got contacts? That's really important, obviously as well as building up work experience. The more experience you have and the more people you meet, the better, it might just take a while. I know people who took nearly 2 years to find a job after uni but now they're really happy in great jobs they really wanted. Just try to think positive and keep aiming for your goal. You haven't 'failed' at anything, you just haven't got to where you want to be yet. And stop moaning to your friends, like you said, they don't want to hear it and there's nothing they can do to help. Start going out with them a bit and that will help you to feel more positive and upbeat at least. Be happy you have lots of friends to go out with! It's more than a lot of people have.

Reply 2

monkeymayhem

I think the problm is, you are just another graduate applying for these jobs, the reason yor getting rejected is because all you can show for youself is your degree. To add to this everytime you get rejected you feel even less confident and disheartened. I think you need to build on your confidence before applying for these jobs.

Have you thought about going into a similar field such as publishing- theres loads of training contracts there. Or you could do a relevant postgraduate course, which I think would give you something more to say about yourself-thus giving you more confidence. You would also get to be a student for one more year. If not maybe you could do some voluntary work experience, so that you have more experience/things to talk about.