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    Hi!

    Recently, I've been having an issue with this guy who used to be one of my closest friends. I'm the only girl in my general group of friends, with 5 other guys, one of which being the guy this thread is about. I've been told by my friends that he's had a crush on me since he met me which was almost 7 years ago now, and the guy actually told me that when he saw me he thought I was the girl he was going to marry, which at the time was quite flattering in a 'I'm kinda scared but thank you?' kinda way. Anyways, a few months ago, he started saying some pretty creepy things to my friends, and once when I was in the room but asleep, he made a comment about wanting to rape me essentially, while I was asleep. This was the only comment I myself heard him say because I'm a light sleeper, but I've been told that he's gone into extreme detail with my friends about things he like to do to me. This then made my friends really worried about my safety and they refuse to tell me what he actually said because they are too disturbed and think I'd die or something (I don't really know). Anyways, I didn't know about any of the other comments and I was only mildly freaked out by the comment I heard him make because he was my friend and I didn't think he'd actually do something. However, a month or so later, we had a fight about something and me being me, felt bad so I asked him if he wanted to talk about it without the others. The next day, we went off at lunch time and he took me to this field of wheat or something, and we sat down and I started talking and he didn't really seem to listen, I got up and said I wanted to go and he proceeded to tackle me to the floor and wouldn't let me get up despite me struggling. Suddenly, what he said about me being asleep and what he wanted to do to me sprung to mind and I started to freak out. I got up to leave again and was tackled again, and this kinda happened like another 8 or so times. I did manage to knee him in a sensitive area and get out of the field, with him following slowly. My friends were waiting outside and when they saw us they walked away. Later on, I was walking with my best friend and he asked what was going on with me and my other friend, so I told him what happened and he then told me that my friend had been saying some really disgusting things about me. Since then, I've tried talking to him but every time he makes me feel so guilty. I just don't know, is this something I've really overreacted to because its been freaking me out and I keep trying to forgive him but I just keep feeling scared of him. Am I in the wrong for holding this against him? I hate holding grudges but this has had a big impact on me....
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    To me this sounds scary and I would've been so freaked out if my friend did that to me. I think the best thing would be to stop being friends with him and if he asked you why then you would explain to him that this is getting out of control. Be careful tho because he might still be pushy and get what he wants. This is getting really serious and is no joke. Talk to an adult that you really trust and tell that adult to not tell anyone. The reason you should talk to an adult would be that your friend might head in the direction of taking control over you and even rape you.

    Remember to stay calm, don't freak out or stress yourself.Don't keep it a secret and tell a trustable person. If you want to talk more about it then you can talk to me.
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    (Original post by eunicekallo)
    To me this sounds scary and I would've been so freaked out if my friend did that to me. I think the best thing would be to stop being friends with him and if he asked you why then you would explain to him that this is getting out of control. Be careful tho because he might still be pushy and get what he wants. This is getting really serious and is no joke. Talk to an adult that you really trust and tell that adult to not tell anyone. The reason you should talk to an adult would be that your friend might head in the direction of taking control over you and even rape you.

    Remember to stay calm, don't freak out or stress yourself.Don't keep it a secret and tell a trustable person. If you want to talk more about it then you can talk to me.
    Thank you so much for your reply! I can't remember if I wrote this on the original post but since then, I spoke to him, he apologised and said he 'just wanted to be playful'. I've told a few of my closest friends, and they've been helping me as well, I was just wondering what someone who doesn't know either of us would think and whether I was reacting badly to his 'joke'. Thank you so much again!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you so much for your reply! I can't remember if I wrote this on the original post but since then, I spoke to him, he apologised and said he 'just wanted to be playful'. I've told a few of my closest friends, and they've been helping me as well, I was just wondering what someone who doesn't know either of us would think and whether I was reacting badly to his 'joke'. Thank you so much again!
    This guy sounds like a complete weirdo - why are you friends with him? Don't go anywhere like that alone with him again, keep yourself safe.
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    (Original post by infairverona)
    This guy sounds like a complete weirdo - why are you friends with him? Don't go anywhere like that alone with him again, keep yourself safe.
    I met him 6/7 years ago when he was fine, and I'm a huge believer in loyalty and I hate leaving people who have stuck by me when I've messed up, which he has.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I met him 6/7 years ago when he was fine, and I'm a huge believer in loyalty and I hate leaving people who have stuck by me when I've messed up, which he has.
    And that's a really admirable/nice attitude to have, but he sounds aggressive and has openly expressed his desire to harm you so you need to be careful!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi!

    Recently, I've been having an issue with this guy who used to be one of my closest friends. I'm the only girl in my general group of friends, with 5 other guys, one of which being the guy this thread is about. I've been told by my friends that he's had a crush on me since he met me which was almost 7 years ago now, and the guy actually told me that when he saw me he thought I was the girl he was going to marry, which at the time was quite flattering in a 'I'm kinda scared but thank you?' kinda way. Anyways, a few months ago, he started saying some pretty creepy things to my friends, and once when I was in the room but asleep, he made a comment about wanting to rape me essentially, while I was asleep. This was the only comment I myself heard him say because I'm a light sleeper, but I've been told that he's gone into extreme detail with my friends about things he like to do to me. This then made my friends really worried about my safety and they refuse to tell me what he actually said because they are too disturbed and think I'd die or something (I don't really know). Anyways, I didn't know about any of the other comments and I was only mildly freaked out by the comment I heard him make because he was my friend and I didn't think he'd actually do something. However, a month or so later, we had a fight about something and me being me, felt bad so I asked him if he wanted to talk about it without the others. The next day, we went off at lunch time and he took me to this field of wheat or something, and we sat down and I started talking and he didn't really seem to listen, I got up and said I wanted to go and he proceeded to tackle me to the floor and wouldn't let me get up despite me struggling. Suddenly, what he said about me being asleep and what he wanted to do to me sprung to mind and I started to freak out. I got up to leave again and was tackled again, and this kinda happened like another 8 or so times. I did manage to knee him in a sensitive area and get out of the field, with him following slowly. My friends were waiting outside and when they saw us they walked away. Later on, I was walking with my best friend and he asked what was going on with me and my other friend, so I told him what happened and he then told me that my friend had been saying some really disgusting things about me. Since then, I've tried talking to him but every time he makes me feel so guilty. I just don't know, is this something I've really overreacted to because its been freaking me out and I keep trying to forgive him but I just keep feeling scared of him. Am I in the wrong for holding this against him? I hate holding grudges but this has had a big impact on me....
    this guys seems like he has social problems or something. you should try and stay away from him to keep yourself safe
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    Update: We didn't talk at all for a few months, until we went back to school and for a while things were fine. However recently, he has told me his feelings towards me haven't changed, yet has allegedly told my friend he wants me dead and has been trying to poison me.... So I am very confused as to what to do...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Update: We didn't talk at all for a few months, until we went back to school and for a while things were fine. However recently, he has told me his feelings towards me haven't changed, yet has allegedly told my friend he wants me dead and has been trying to poison me.... So I am very confused as to what to do...
    Seriously stop talking to this guy, he sounds really strange and messed up, is there not someone you can tell him about as well.
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    For your safety, avoid him, but don't piss him off. If you're in school I'd consider talking to a teacher you trust it with, because this is not something to take lightly. It could be nothing, but you could also end up seriously hurt, and it's much better to be safe than sorry.
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    He's quite a clingy person, he likes to have a go at me if I do ignore him, and I hate making him angry anyway. He doesn't know that I know any of this, so in his eyes, I'm not even justified to ignore him.
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    Don't feel guilty, what he is doing is terrible and could very easily escalate. You need to cut him out of your life before he physically harms you. If you go to school/uni then tell someone, because this is very dangerous. Your other friends seem to get how horrible this is so if you tell them that you don't want to be friends with him anymore I'm sure they'll stick by you. Please, get yourself out of this toxic situation and tell someone just in case the worst happens
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He's quite a clingy person, he likes to have a go at me if I do ignore him, and I hate making him angry anyway. He doesn't know that I know any of this, so in his eyes, I'm not even justified to ignore him.
    Don't let him guilt trip you like that.
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    Thank you all for your replies, it's kinda comforting to know I'm not overreacting to this. I'll keep my distance and tell someone just to be safe. Thank you all again
 
 
 
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