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She seems to like me, I tell her I like her, and she sees me as a mate? WTF! long
This is a long and complicated problem, but I will try to keep it simple.
Me and this girl are close mates, she drops lots of hints and seems to like me. I don't need to ask "does she like me?" because I've asked so many people and the answer is yes.
Anyway, we're talking on the net one day and I drop some signs of affection, and she says what I'm doing for valentines day I said nothing she said nothing going to spend it with family I ask her if she has a boyfriend to be direct she says no - good sign, and she aint spending the day with a boy. Convo goes on, I said out of honesty that I have girl issues amonst uni problems and stuff straight away she doesn't ask about the family or uni issues but asks which girl problems and really is persistant. I go offline as I didn't want this conversation on the internet and I didn't imagine her to be so offline my girl mates bar one don't care about my problems. When I txt her about something, she tells me I still have to tell her. Most mates of mine (girl mates) don't even care about these problems, but she's really pushing me on the other hand. I told her I have girl issues so that during the week she would ask me and I'd tell her I like her - so I get the ball rolling now and do something around the 14th - no going back and all that.
Tuesday I looked all over uni for her I got home and she told me she weren't in uni etc etc as soon as I got online, and she told me to explain my girl problems. I was trying to avoid her on MSN but I couldn't and she asked me what I didn't want her to ask - my girl issues. I was really secretive as I wanted this conversation in person (hence why I was looking for her in person), as everyone says msn is not the place. Anyway I started off by saying that I don't chat to other girls much apart from her and maybe one other she said "aww have you not found the one yet its valentines 2mz
". Anyway, I told her there is a girl I like and she nudged me and said there is someone I like in uni too (I didn't say someone in uni). Again I didn't ask who as I felt I should ask in person. More hints were dropped, like "I am in uni 2mz if u r! ". I didn't ask her out on MSN because again I felt I should ask her in person but I regret this now because this could have been a factor in the bad way things are right now. Does it really matter if I ask her on MSN? I did before she said yes no problems there, but on MSN she can't hear my voice and thus see my intentions.
Then the next day came as I couldn't really see her in person I just told her on msn it's her I like to end the pressure and stress and get my focus back for the purpose of my work. I know this shouldn't be done on MSN but I felt I had little options. She was busy on Wednesday meeting family and I didn't like the idea of telling her to come to uni just for me. I'm not used to telling people what to do just for me, so I didn't tell her. If she likes someone in uni, why aren't they going out on V.day or why did she say she doesn't have a bf? Although going out doesn't = bf. When I told her, I said I have to explain don't hate me etc and she said "..." which was probably in response to the explaining bit, after I said I like her. So she read the msg, right. She went offline a few minutes later without warning and txtd me saying "Hey got dc sorry be on in a bit!". First time she said that. So I saw her that evening online and she msgd me again as usual I said I need to speak to you she said wat I said the thing I said before, she said she didn't read the msg WTF she replied to it?!
Then I pasted the bit about me liking her, she said how u mean same way (as in I said do you like me in the same way?). She said well I like you as a mate...your nice guy I said I'm confused about relationships in general she said ok what do I say what you so confused with and said your nice guy I like you as a mate (wierd how she repeated the same sentence but re-arranged it). To make things even stranger, she said can we please not talk about this rite now and I said whenever you want then she said thanks then told me she has to go to eat a few minutes later.
Since then she has been acting normal as if nothing has happened she still msgs me just as often except now she actually says bye before she leaves. She asks if I'm in uni as if she wants to meet me (that'll be interesting...). She tells me everything like she asks me for restaurant recommendations I give some she says she's going out with mates (of course, as I've stuffed things up I haven't been invited and she'd probably discuss me with her mates - except she won't big me up to her mates like she did before). She tells me she found a restaurant and tries to put me off by talking about her expensive tastes and buying habits, and how she hates getting ready to go out (make up, shower etc). Is she trying to put me off? She also asks me if I go to bars/restaurants much. But to really top if off, when I ask her what restaurant she chose, which I deserve to ask as she's been talking to me about the bloody thing for an hour or two, she says "ermm I can't tell you you might end up there lol sorry
" WTF is up with that?! I'm honest with her and this is what I get!?
WTF is going on? One minute she drops hints left right and centre, and when I do what I have to do (being motivated by her hints), she says she sees me as a mate. I end up looking completely stupid. Don't even say I can move on because I am still waiting for an explanation from her and she obviously doesn't care about what I have to say. And don't say I know where I stand either. If I could move on or knew where I stood (need the latter for the former) then I won't be asking on here about this. Rather than trying to get these answers from here, I should be getting them from her but I am not thus I feel telling her how I feel was completely stupid and the wrong thing to do - and if it's the wrong thing to do, then there is nothing I can do!
Me and this girl are close mates, she drops lots of hints and seems to like me. I don't need to ask "does she like me?" because I've asked so many people and the answer is yes.
Anyway, we're talking on the net one day and I drop some signs of affection, and she says what I'm doing for valentines day I said nothing she said nothing going to spend it with family I ask her if she has a boyfriend to be direct she says no - good sign, and she aint spending the day with a boy. Convo goes on, I said out of honesty that I have girl issues amonst uni problems and stuff straight away she doesn't ask about the family or uni issues but asks which girl problems and really is persistant. I go offline as I didn't want this conversation on the internet and I didn't imagine her to be so offline my girl mates bar one don't care about my problems. When I txt her about something, she tells me I still have to tell her. Most mates of mine (girl mates) don't even care about these problems, but she's really pushing me on the other hand. I told her I have girl issues so that during the week she would ask me and I'd tell her I like her - so I get the ball rolling now and do something around the 14th - no going back and all that.
Tuesday I looked all over uni for her I got home and she told me she weren't in uni etc etc as soon as I got online, and she told me to explain my girl problems. I was trying to avoid her on MSN but I couldn't and she asked me what I didn't want her to ask - my girl issues. I was really secretive as I wanted this conversation in person (hence why I was looking for her in person), as everyone says msn is not the place. Anyway I started off by saying that I don't chat to other girls much apart from her and maybe one other she said "aww have you not found the one yet its valentines 2mz
". Anyway, I told her there is a girl I like and she nudged me and said there is someone I like in uni too (I didn't say someone in uni). Again I didn't ask who as I felt I should ask in person. More hints were dropped, like "I am in uni 2mz if u r! ". I didn't ask her out on MSN because again I felt I should ask her in person but I regret this now because this could have been a factor in the bad way things are right now. Does it really matter if I ask her on MSN? I did before she said yes no problems there, but on MSN she can't hear my voice and thus see my intentions.Then the next day came as I couldn't really see her in person I just told her on msn it's her I like to end the pressure and stress and get my focus back for the purpose of my work. I know this shouldn't be done on MSN but I felt I had little options. She was busy on Wednesday meeting family and I didn't like the idea of telling her to come to uni just for me. I'm not used to telling people what to do just for me, so I didn't tell her. If she likes someone in uni, why aren't they going out on V.day or why did she say she doesn't have a bf? Although going out doesn't = bf. When I told her, I said I have to explain don't hate me etc and she said "..." which was probably in response to the explaining bit, after I said I like her. So she read the msg, right. She went offline a few minutes later without warning and txtd me saying "Hey got dc sorry be on in a bit!". First time she said that. So I saw her that evening online and she msgd me again as usual I said I need to speak to you she said wat I said the thing I said before, she said she didn't read the msg WTF she replied to it?!
Then I pasted the bit about me liking her, she said how u mean same way (as in I said do you like me in the same way?). She said well I like you as a mate...your nice guy I said I'm confused about relationships in general she said ok what do I say what you so confused with and said your nice guy I like you as a mate (wierd how she repeated the same sentence but re-arranged it). To make things even stranger, she said can we please not talk about this rite now and I said whenever you want then she said thanks then told me she has to go to eat a few minutes later.Since then she has been acting normal as if nothing has happened she still msgs me just as often except now she actually says bye before she leaves. She asks if I'm in uni as if she wants to meet me (that'll be interesting...). She tells me everything like she asks me for restaurant recommendations I give some she says she's going out with mates (of course, as I've stuffed things up I haven't been invited and she'd probably discuss me with her mates - except she won't big me up to her mates like she did before). She tells me she found a restaurant and tries to put me off by talking about her expensive tastes and buying habits, and how she hates getting ready to go out (make up, shower etc). Is she trying to put me off? She also asks me if I go to bars/restaurants much. But to really top if off, when I ask her what restaurant she chose, which I deserve to ask as she's been talking to me about the bloody thing for an hour or two, she says "ermm I can't tell you you might end up there lol sorry
" WTF is up with that?! I'm honest with her and this is what I get!?WTF is going on? One minute she drops hints left right and centre, and when I do what I have to do (being motivated by her hints), she says she sees me as a mate. I end up looking completely stupid. Don't even say I can move on because I am still waiting for an explanation from her and she obviously doesn't care about what I have to say. And don't say I know where I stand either. If I could move on or knew where I stood (need the latter for the former) then I won't be asking on here about this. Rather than trying to get these answers from here, I should be getting them from her but I am not thus I feel telling her how I feel was completely stupid and the wrong thing to do - and if it's the wrong thing to do, then there is nothing I can do!
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Look everyone! This guy found this guy's perfect date.
Seriously, she sounds a bit... unstable.
And avoiding someone on msn is easy. You don't type things and don't hit enter.
And I see no problem with the msn thing. I've met a wonderful girl on msn.
edit: maybe I'm the exception, not the rule...
Seriously, she sounds a bit... unstable.
And avoiding someone on msn is easy. You don't type things and don't hit enter.
And I see no problem with the msn thing. I've met a wonderful girl on msn.
edit: maybe I'm the exception, not the rule...
Reply 2
Bumping this thread (if that's allowed).
Reply 3
I don't think it should be, and to be honest I don't think you've got your signals right.
You seem all over the place in your feelings for her and I'd imagine have come across in the wrong light, as in it may seem that you want her too much. Perhaps she does geniunely just see you as a friend. Many girls flirt harmlessly with their friends without wanting to take it further.
You seem all over the place in your feelings for her and I'd imagine have come across in the wrong light, as in it may seem that you want her too much. Perhaps she does geniunely just see you as a friend. Many girls flirt harmlessly with their friends without wanting to take it further.
Reply 4
ShinyApple
I don't think it should be, and to be honest I don't think you've got your signals right.
You seem all over the place in your feelings for her and I'd imagine have come across in the wrong light, as in it may seem that you want her too much. Perhaps she does geniunely just see you as a friend. Many girls flirt harmlessly with their friends without wanting to take it further.
You seem all over the place in your feelings for her and I'd imagine have come across in the wrong light, as in it may seem that you want her too much. Perhaps she does geniunely just see you as a friend. Many girls flirt harmlessly with their friends without wanting to take it further.
I am all over the place because I am confused. I was confused before she said she sees me as a mate, and I am even more confused when she said that with no explanation. Telling her how I feel is just a load of hyped up rubbish because people say once you tell her the confusion will end - yea right.
Flirt harmlessly? It's her signs/flirting that motivated me to tell her how I feel. They didn't make me like me even more, but they motivated me to tell her how I feel. So it's ok for her to do all that? I guess I am the one with the problems now and she is just flattered I like her as more than a mate.
It's funny how everyone said she likes me, and it's funny how the girls are justifying her behaviour. Maybe I will use her just like she uses me, except now the girls I know will hate me for that. It's ok for her to do that though.
Reply 5
I know its horrible now, it always feels a bit rough, but it may not be all that bad. Also, it would appear that you didn't know her completely, it may have been that she wasn't right for you.
Don't think about getting revenge, its not worth it. Think about the future and the lessons you have learnt. Try not to get too involved in friendships with people you think you might like to date. Becoming very good friends with people you would want to date is messy and hurtful.
Don't think about getting revenge, its not worth it. Think about the future and the lessons you have learnt. Try not to get too involved in friendships with people you think you might like to date. Becoming very good friends with people you would want to date is messy and hurtful.
Reply 6
ShinyApple
I know its horrible now, it always feels a bit rough, but it may not be all that bad. Also, it would appear that you didn't know her completely, it may have been that she wasn't right for you.
Don't think about getting revenge, its not worth it. Think about the future and the lessons you have learnt. Try not to get too involved in friendships with people you think you might like to date. Becoming very good friends with people you would want to date is messy and hurtful.
Don't think about getting revenge, its not worth it. Think about the future and the lessons you have learnt. Try not to get too involved in friendships with people you think you might like to date. Becoming very good friends with people you would want to date is messy and hurtful.
Looks like this is becoming on a one-on-one discussion now, lol.
May not be all that bad? It can't be any worse! She said she likes someone in uni too. Of course, when I said I like someone I didn't say who as I was reluctant to as it was msn and she didn't say who. She nudged me but I didn't ask. It seemed like me. But if it's not me, then she doesn't like me and she likes someone else. So not only does she not like me, but there is someone else involved. Could my luck be any worse? I always felt I had bad luck in life and I felt that in this situation, if there is someone else involved, I am right to be cynical and always think I have bad luck. On top of that, I had no warning there may have been someone else when I asked her if she has a bf (ok they may not be bf/gf) and she didn't say she's going out with a boy on valentines so what do you think that tells me?
Yea I may not get revenge, but I am not going to keep helping her and stuff. Perhaps she can get the boy she likes to do that for her! After all, that's his job not mine. I'm just a "mate" remember...
I have learnt no lessons because me and her have not had a proper conversation about what I said. Maybe she does not care? She said can we not talk about this right now but we probably never will talk about. We are scheduled to meet this week in uni, but she will act normal and she wants work-related help so I won't expect what I said to get a mention unless I mention it - of course, my honesty made me look stupid once and will probably make me look stupid again...
Everyone is telling me that I am ********d and I am beginning to feel they are right.
most girls seem to be hypocritical in thier approach to guys. you may need to grow a tough skin and just forget her. that may even end up with her coming back after you.
or if you want to get her back, tell her and her mates that its alright because youve gone off her now anyway. if they ask why then just say, "sorry, you just dont have "it" like i thought you did, i was mistaken, .......but your lets be mates"
that will screw her mind if you do it in front of a group of people
or if you want to get her back, tell her and her mates that its alright because youve gone off her now anyway. if they ask why then just say, "sorry, you just dont have "it" like i thought you did, i was mistaken, .......but your lets be mates"
that will screw her mind if you do it in front of a group of people
Reply 8
I don't agree with trying to "screw her up", however the rest is very right. You need to turn your back and get on with things as if they never happened. Don't give any special attention and she will get the message. Yes you have to lose a bit of face over it, you put yourself out there and got turned back, but you also gain confidence and self respect.
Reply 11
*Sparkle*
I think you may have got your signals crossed.
When one of my guy mates has girl problems I nosy on them for ages too because I can usually help with those. Friends help with problems.
When one of my guy mates has girl problems I nosy on them for ages too because I can usually help with those. Friends help with problems.
Well she hasn't helped me one bit. So much for her being able to help and being good with this stuff, like she said.
I said I don't talk to many girls because they are users and we therefore do not get on. I was being truthful.
Is she unstable? confused? scared? Or just plain doesn't like me? I have no solid answer and if I ask her I'll probably get more confusion (if that is at all possible...). But I will ask her when I see her in person.
Reply 12
i think she's probably confused in whether she likes u as a friend, or if her feelings for u are something more.. i used to really like a girl, who used to tell me that we'd only ever be friends, and we had a bit of an argument a long time ago and hardly spoke, and recently she goes and tells me she likes me again...
girls are confusing. lol.
girls are confusing. lol.
Reply 13
Deadfish41
i think she's probably confused in whether she likes u as a friend, or if her feelings for u are something more.. i used to really like a girl, who used to tell me that we'd only ever be friends, and we had a bit of an argument a long time ago and hardly spoke, and recently she goes and tells me she likes me again...
girls are confusing. lol.
girls are confusing. lol.
To me that is an insecure girl needing attention. She knew you liked her and knew you'd giver her attention so she fell back to you to get it. Classic. Don't bite. She doesn't want you, sorry to say.
Reply 14
Ive moved on from her, and i told her that.
Reply 15
The 3rd and 2nd last replies are so contradicting, lol. But at least there is a general consensus of confusion, that's something I suppose...
Reply 16
*Sparkle*
I think you may have got your signals crossed.
When one of my guy mates has girl problems I nosy on them for ages too because I can usually help with those. Friends help with problems.
When one of my guy mates has girl problems I nosy on them for ages too because I can usually help with those. Friends help with problems.
This is the best piece of information that you should take from this thread.
Reply 17
The advice about a girl always being persistant and helping a boy with girl problems, which as normal as it is, does not really tell me much. What annoys me is that I said I will tell her in person and she had to keep pushing me for an answer and add pressure. And when I do tell her, just because it's her I like shouldn't change anything. If I said I like someone else, she would probably help me but just because it is her shouldn't mean she doesn't! Why can't people respect my wishes!
I can't avoid her on msn as we have some same contacts, and I'm not going to say how I am over her to her mates whom I know because they don't know I like her (well they haven't asked me so I assume she hasn't told them), and the less people involved in my complicated problems, the better!
I guess the only right decision I made in these messed up problems I have where to not buy her anything for the 14th.
I can't avoid her on msn as we have some same contacts, and I'm not going to say how I am over her to her mates whom I know because they don't know I like her (well they haven't asked me so I assume she hasn't told them), and the less people involved in my complicated problems, the better!
I guess the only right decision I made in these messed up problems I have where to not buy her anything for the 14th.
Reply 18
I would counsel prudence and foresight in your situation. Take courage, for it shall win you through.
I don't know if you want to take a leaf out of my book or not, but once I've been knocked back, I move on. I'm more than willing to stay friends, but to be honest - there is no friendship once you've come this far.
Girls love playing games, it's just the way they are. Unfortunately for you, it appears you fell for the old attention seeking, ego pandering one.
I know it's hard but you've got to learn to get what you want in life. Become indifferent, not so that you don't care but so you don't get hurt. The chances are if you find someone new she'll probably suddenly realise she wants you - why? Because it's the ego thing and she wants what she can't have.
Forget her, she knows where you are should she get her act together. In the mean time, head up, soldier on, learn from the experience and find someone better.
Girls love playing games, it's just the way they are. Unfortunately for you, it appears you fell for the old attention seeking, ego pandering one.
I know it's hard but you've got to learn to get what you want in life. Become indifferent, not so that you don't care but so you don't get hurt. The chances are if you find someone new she'll probably suddenly realise she wants you - why? Because it's the ego thing and she wants what she can't have.
Forget her, she knows where you are should she get her act together. In the mean time, head up, soldier on, learn from the experience and find someone better.
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