Hear so many stories about girls getting asked out all the time, but I never do... Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#1
Yeah like the title says I always hear about how girls are dating such and such guy and getting asked out but at the age of 21 I've only been properly asked out twice (that is face to face). Other times (like 2x) I've been asked out by guys to hang out over texts but thats after months of me going up to them and chatting and further sporadic texts/messages by which time I kinda lose interest :/

Of course I don't expect guys to drop to my feet so please don't flame me for that (as is the case usually in threads like these) but I'd like to know what I'm doing wrong?

I'm attractive and dress well and get a decent amount of attention, and although I can be a little quiet initially, I try to be friendly and often initiate conversations with people in real life (after the initial introduction) but I'm not sure what I'm missing? I don't mind doing this initial work but I don't want to actually do 100% of the work and I'd rather they actually do the asking out (and also I prefer not to take the 'pursuer' role).

Any ideas?
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Kevin De Bruyne
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#2
Report 3 years ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah like the title says I always hear about how girls are dating such and such guy and getting asked out but at the age of 21 I've only been properly asked out twice (that is face to face). Other times (like 2x) I've been asked out by guys to hang out over texts but thats after months of me going up to them and chatting and further sporadic texts/messages by which time I kinda lose interest :/

Of course I don't expect guys to drop to my feet so please don't flame me for that (as is the case usually in threads like these) but I'd like to know what I'm doing wrong?

I'm attractive and dress well and get a decent amount of attention, and although I can be a little quiet initially, I try to be friendly and often initiate conversations with people in real life (after the initial introduction) but I'm not sure what I'm missing? I don't mind doing this initial work but I don't want to actually do 100% of the work and I'd rather they actually do the asking out (and also I prefer not to take the 'pursuer' role).

Any ideas?
There doesn't seem to be anything that you're doing wrong. You've been properly asked out, so your looks aren't a problem, and you've had guys waiting to make their move for months, so your personality isn't driving them away. So I can't see why you haven't been approached more, or whether there's a set number of times someone should have been asked out by a certain age. :iiam:

First impressions are important, apparently. You can only have them once. Maybe it's you being quiet initially which, I'm exactly the same like you (warming up over time), doesn't set a 'wow, I want to be with this girl' kind of impression. Maybe that's something you could work on.

And yeah, doing 100% of the work can be hard. Maybe, if you really like a guy, you could try to give stronger hints? It might seem like effort but who knows how many people have just said nothing because they think you're out of their league?
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The one ed
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What is this? So you have been asked out before? A lot of girls are not as lucky if that. Obviously not being prom queen is starting to get to you.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by SeanFM)
There doesn't seem to be anything that you're doing wrong. You've been properly asked out, so your looks aren't a problem, and you've had guys waiting to make their move for months, so your personality isn't driving them away. So I can't see why you haven't been approached more, or whether there's a set number of times someone should have been asked out by a certain age. :iiam:

First impressions are important, apparently. You can only have them once. Maybe it's you being quiet initially which, I'm exactly the same like you (warming up over time), doesn't set a 'wow, I want to be with this girl' kind of impression. Maybe that's something you could work on.

And yeah, doing 100% of the work can be hard. Maybe, if you really like a guy, you could try to give stronger hints? It might seem like effort but who knows how many people have just said nothing because they think you're out of their league?
Thanks for your reply Yeah I'm trying to get better with being less quiet initially and more comfortable in social situations but ofc this takes time and exposure!

What type of stronger hints would you suggest? Can you give examples? Haha I don't think I'm that amazingly good looking that they think I'm out of their league and I'm guessing most people have grown out of that mindset, but I guess there's more to lose if you know that person socially and see them semi-regularly?

Also might it have anything to do with my age group?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by The one ed)
What is this? So you have been asked out before? A lot of girls are not as lucky if that. Obviously not being prom queen is starting to get to you.
Prom queen? I'm talking about why, in the age of things like tinder where everyone is asking everyone out and being asked out, I might be falling short?
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The one ed
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Prom queen? I'm talking about why, in the age of things like tinder where everyone is asking everyone out and being asked out, I might be falling short?
Blame feminism because it is only pushing men away in case they are accused of sexual harassment by simply asking a girl out or objectifying her, or trying to get in her pants or God knows what else.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by The one ed)
Blame feminism because it is only pushing men away in case they are accused of sexual harassment by simply asking a girl out or objectifying her, or trying to get in her pants or God knows what else.
I doubt your average guy not the street thinks about this in so much depth that it prevents them from asking girls out?
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Kevin De Bruyne
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks for your reply Yeah I'm trying to get better with being less quiet initially and more comfortable in social situations but ofc this takes time and exposure!

What type of stronger hints would you suggest? Can you give examples? Haha I don't think I'm that amazingly good looking that they think I'm out of their league and I'm guessing most people have grown out of that mindset, but I guess there's more to lose if you know that person socially and see them semi-regularly?

Also might it have anything to do with my age group?
I don't know much about age groups so I won't say much, if you're at uni then I'd probably find it difficult to tell you apart from an 18 year old, say, if that's what the whole age group thing is.

And yes, you're right there.

I guess stronger hints just means flirting in different ways. Stuff like feeling their muscles, asking them if they've been working out and running your hand down their arm, or if they're wearing cologne or deoderant lean in close and smell it, or fake doing something like playing with your hair or flipping it while you're talking to them, or if you're not talking about something important, say 'sorry I got lost in your eyes'...
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