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Been with boyfriend 2 years, recently diagnosed with STI... Boyfriend doesn't have it watch

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    So a few weeks ago after I'd slept with my partner I noticed some symptoms and thought I'd play it safe and get checked out. Turns out I've got herpes. Anyway, my boyfriend has no symptoms and I was basically told by the doctor that it can't be passed on unless a person had an outbreak. Seeing as the incubation period is a few days it leaves three options... Either

    My partner cheated, I didn't notice he had an outbreak and he passed it to me

    I contracted it years ago and somehow it's just not been giving me symptoms

    My partner has it, and has done for years but somehow only passed it on to me recently despite having no symptoms.

    I'm hoping it's the latter, despite it being unlikely.

    However since I told him he's acted distant, he seems angry and doesn't want to talk about it. He is under the impression that I've cheated. Which I haven't. It doesn't help that the facts point to it being the most likely scenario too. I'm just lost at the moment, I feel disgusting but also confused as to how I've ended up here.

    What should I do?
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    Next time you visit your GP take him with you so that the doctor can confirm that its possible all of the other ways.


    I've never had genital herpes, but I have read before that if you have facial herpes(Coldsores) you can be prone to it.

    I dont think there is much you can do, if you know you have not done anything sexual with another person and he doesn't believe you, trust issues come up for both of you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So a few weeks ago after I'd slept with my partner I noticed some symptoms and thought I'd play it safe and get checked out. Turns out I've got herpes. Anyway, my boyfriend has no symptoms and I was basically told by the doctor that it can't be passed on unless a person had an outbreak. Seeing as the incubation period is a few days it leaves three options... Either

    My partner cheated, I didn't notice he had an outbreak and he passed it to me

    I contracted it years ago and somehow it's just not been giving me symptoms

    My partner has it, and has done for years but somehow only passed it on to me recently despite having no symptoms.

    I'm hoping it's the latter, despite it being unlikely.

    However since I told him he's acted distant, he seems angry and doesn't want to talk about it. He is under the impression that I've cheated. Which I haven't. It doesn't help that the facts point to it being the most likely scenario too. I'm just lost at the moment, I feel disgusting but also confused as to how I've ended up here.

    What should I do?
    Your bf having no symptoms doesnt mean he doesnt have it - if he does have it, either he's had symptoms and you've never known, or he could just be one of the lucky asymptomatic few. But if the symptoms have only occurred recently and you two have been having unprotected sex for a long time, then it's likely he contracted it recently.

    if you're sure its not you, then you need to tell him about it, but just beware it might end up with you finding out he cheated.

    Anyhow, herpes is not something to be too worried about. You can get some medicine (famvir I think its called), that will help to significantly reduce the duration of outbreaks, and with time outbreaks will become less and less frequent and you'll continue going on having a normal life.
 
 
 
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