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Delayed Grieving
This problem is probably quite trivial and not worth your time. I'm more just contemplating.
I broke up with my first boyfriend about a year ago. We had been together for about 8 months. I didn't have any troubles getting over him at the time, and have been happy with my new girlfriend for the last 8 months. However, over the past few days I've been thinking about my ex a lot. He has another girlfriend now too, and its now that it feels like I've lost him. Since he got with his new girl, he doesn't look back as fondly on our old relationship, and I guess I've lost my "safety net", so to speak. I was used to still having his attention, but now that's gone. So it would appear that now, despite being perfectly happy with my current relationship, I am grieving what I had with my ex, and I am going through a very delayed reaction to our break-up. It hurts to see him with someone else, and so fond of her too. I miss the little things like his hand on mine going down escalators, his smell, you know - those little quirks about someone. Another thing is that in our time going out we didn't ever have sex (although we did engage in other activities), because I said I wasn't ready. Now he's sleeping with his current girlfriend, and I'm wishing that I had slept with him. Its strange. He's started to haunt my dreams too.
Maybe I'm just being selfish, missing the extra attention I got from him. I don't know. I know I can't tell him that I'm feeling like this. I mean, what's the point? I know there's nothing he or I can do about it. I can hardly expect him to break-up with his girlfriend for me, when I'm happy in a relationship anyway! I don't know. He's still my friend. I just hope she doesn't take him away from me completely, she's already belittled what we had.
I broke up with my first boyfriend about a year ago. We had been together for about 8 months. I didn't have any troubles getting over him at the time, and have been happy with my new girlfriend for the last 8 months. However, over the past few days I've been thinking about my ex a lot. He has another girlfriend now too, and its now that it feels like I've lost him. Since he got with his new girl, he doesn't look back as fondly on our old relationship, and I guess I've lost my "safety net", so to speak. I was used to still having his attention, but now that's gone. So it would appear that now, despite being perfectly happy with my current relationship, I am grieving what I had with my ex, and I am going through a very delayed reaction to our break-up. It hurts to see him with someone else, and so fond of her too. I miss the little things like his hand on mine going down escalators, his smell, you know - those little quirks about someone. Another thing is that in our time going out we didn't ever have sex (although we did engage in other activities), because I said I wasn't ready. Now he's sleeping with his current girlfriend, and I'm wishing that I had slept with him. Its strange. He's started to haunt my dreams too.
Maybe I'm just being selfish, missing the extra attention I got from him. I don't know. I know I can't tell him that I'm feeling like this. I mean, what's the point? I know there's nothing he or I can do about it. I can hardly expect him to break-up with his girlfriend for me, when I'm happy in a relationship anyway! I don't know. He's still my friend. I just hope she doesn't take him away from me completely, she's already belittled what we had.
Reply 1
So yeah. Has anyone else been through this? How can I get myself through it? I'm doing my best to "get over it" but I'm just confused right now.
Reply 2
17
Do you honestly wish you'd slept with him now you're not seeing him? Not the best idea imho.
I get the impression that first serious relationships don't go away. You do need to try and get over him though. You say it's been over the last few days, so maybe it's just a short-term thing? Are there problems in your current relationship that are making your mind wander?
I get the impression that first serious relationships don't go away. You do need to try and get over him though. You say it's been over the last few days, so maybe it's just a short-term thing? Are there problems in your current relationship that are making your mind wander?
Reply 3
It's just a pang of jealousy.
Happens to everyone when they see their ex find someone else. Be glad you have your current relationship.
It's harder when they move on and you're still single.
Happens to everyone when they see their ex find someone else. Be glad you have your current relationship.
It's harder when they move on and you're still single.
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