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Not sure what to do anymore.

I'll try and explain this problem in as much detail as I can. Me and my girlfriend are in a long distance relationship where we see each other every week using train services.

My girlfriend's mum is very evil and has made it very clear that she does not love my girlfriend because she is a girl and she wanted a boy. She says very mean and hurtful things to her, such as 'you make my life hell, i can't wait for you to go', and 'i wish you'd just go away', 'you make me so stressed out'.

She has also told my girlfriend that she will make nothing of her life, even though she is predicted all A's for her GCSEs.

She makes her do everything, and always has done, such as clean the house, cook meals, etc, and then is very ungrateful and complains about it all.

My girlfriend self harms and has taken an overdose before, due to what her mum says (her mum does not know this). She has said to me that if I wasn't around, she would kill herself, because she feels that I am all she has.

Shes been through a hell of a lot for a 16yr old girl; she has a broken shoulder due to being in a nasty car crash 4 years ago, a cyst on her brain, which is waiting to be operated on, and gynae problems, which are also in the process of being sorted out. On occasions, her mum has told her that she is making her problems up and that she does not really have them.

She is so brave, I would not cope if this was me. I hate her mum for what she is doing to her. What can we do? I am starting to not be able to cope either anymore. It upsets me so much.

Thanks for reading.

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Reply 1

Strictly Business

Ouch. I think at the age you're at (persumably you're doing GCSEs as well), there isn't much you can do apart from be there for her.

What about this girl's father?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

I'm doing A levels atm, last year.

Girl's father is nothing like her mother, but tends not to get involved or stick up for his daughter.

Reply 3

jaroxski

Her mum is female herself and is sexist against females? Sounds like my grandmother, only she doesn't say or do anything... she just gives you that I'm disgusted at you type of look all the time, and she changes her Will as often as people buy food, lol!

Your girlfriend's relationship with her mother will probably improve if they lived apart. Living together makes her mother take her for granted. Is her father scared of the mother too?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

I don't see how it is possible for them to live apart till after her GCSEs are done, in which she can come and live with me. Does this seem achieveable?

Her father does seem slightly scared of the mother.

Reply 5

Shockley

Anonymous

I don't see how it is possible for them to live apart till after her GCSEs are done, in which she can come and live with me. Does this seem achieveable?

Yes.

Reply 6

jaroxski

You should be able to get her to live with you right now and probably able to get her father to consent this as well. I'm sure her mother must have some love for her... after all, she did give birth and raise her for all these years. Maybe her mother is not good at expressing her love and she's got a bad temper and always takes it out on people. Not a considerate mother but there may be the chance she doesn't hate that girl as much as you think.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

I'm not sure her dad is fully aware about whats going on.

It doesnt seem achieveable at the moment considering she has to take her gcses at her school in 3 months time.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Just read your reply. Her mum has lost 6 kids already and it seems to have screwed her up. You would think that this would make her love her kids more but it does not. She may have some love for her, but the comments are getting too much.

Reply 9

Trigger

Are you sure this is all really happening? I mean you only see her once a week. She could be exaggerating the situation

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Yes I am sure all of this is happening. I am with her once a week, but for 3 days, which is nearly half of it, and her mother is the same.

I've seen her mother get angry with someone else and then rip up all of her coursework and not even apologise.

Shes fallen down the stairs and bruised her back while I've been there, and all her mum has done is scream abuse at her.

Reply 11

Trigger

Well there really is nothing you can do without making it worse. She needs to get her father on side

Reply 12

Vampyrcorn

Her mum has lost 6 kids already

eh? how?

Anyway, your poor girlfriend. :frown:

I'm sure if she's coped with so much so far then she'll last another 3 months. The best thing you can do is stay strong for her. Hope it all works out for the best :smile:

And yes, you need to get her father to help a bit.

Reply 13

Jonquil

Just what i was gonna say :rolleyes:

If she's put up with this her whole life then im sure she can last a bit longer, but i know it will be hard for both of you. please stick by her as it sounds like she really needs you around. try not to let this affect your school work, at the end of the day there isnt really much you can do about it at the moment :smile:

good luck!

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

All still births due to the gynae problems in the family

Reply 15

high priestess fnord

does she not have friends etc she can stay with? i allways used to go to mates houses and live there alot of the time. if your gfs mum is anything like mine as soon as she leaves the mum will realise how much housework etc she was actually doing.

Reply 16

Trigger

You would think after a while you would just stop trying :frown:

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

Well I thought this would mean that they would love her more. But it obviously isn't. I mean, my girlfriend was the one of the first people to get menigitus, at the age of 4, and they weren't even bothered.