i don't know to be honest

i just want someone to say something that i haven't already heard which will make me feel better. i feel like i've heard it all and its not like i'm not well aware of the 'sensible' or 'logical' ways to solve my problems, which are trivial compared to the problems lots of people have.

1) i dropped out of uni after a term. i'm a straight grade A student, i expected to fit in straight away. I hated my course but more than that I hated the people. I made no friends. I only visited home twice, I tried so hard to stay and pinned all the blame on my joint honours course being the wrong choice. i still don't feel like the true depth of 'dropping out' has sunk in.

2) i've reapplied for a single honours course, and so far have 4 offers, 2 haven't replied. i never seem to fail at anything as far as people can see. maybe if i'd have only got one offer i could have gone there and made the best of it, but now none of the offers are appealing to me, i feel like everywhere i go has the chance of going wrong again. it was me, not the uni, not the course.

3) my relationship with my boyfriend is falling apart. he has a new life and a new job, i'm trying to find a job but can't as of yet. he has new friends, female friends, and we've talked and he keeps giving stuff another chance but were clearly over and i'm clearly losing him.

4) i am insecure, and feel fat and crap. i eat huge amounts of food and then make myself sick and go to the gym too often. i sleep most of the day.

all of these problems are generic. i don't know why i'm posting here. i don't even have a right to moan. i go out with my friends, i joke about things, noone really knows how i feel, but i can't tell anybody, so i guess i thought i'd try here.

Reply 1

glaucon

I'm afriad you've probably heard this before, but going to see a counsellor could really help you to discover what you want to do and acheive it. Don't think of it as another faliure - it could be a way forward.

Don't think about your boyfriend now, think of something really special that you want to do with your life. Whether that involves a degree or not (it's a myth that your a faliure if you don't get a degree) try and acheive it.

In your spare time - this might sound like a crap option, but doing some voluntary work or something can actually make you feel good, and you'll meet people and interact with people, so it's a good chance.

All the best!

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

I did what you did. I dropped out of uni after one term, i could tell my family were dissappointed in me, went to the gym to pass the time, and things got rocky with my boyfriend who had a new life at university. My advice to you is this;
Don't ever make yourself sick again. It's a vicious cycle, and the things it does to your body are truly disgusting (rotten teeth/sore stomach/lank hair anyone?)
Devote your time to researching the different unis, and go to visit them. After dropping out I applied to uni again and things are so much better because I did my research to make sure it was the right one for me. Like you, I was worried that uni would never work for me.
Don't give up the jobhunt, though if you don't find one it isn't the endof the world. But make sure you set yourself a goal to be achieved by the end of the year, eg. getting into a new uni.

I suspect you may well have heard this before, but if you have then perhaps its because this is the only real solution to your probs. Good luck

Reply 3

generalebriety

You know, maybe the logical solution is the best one, in this case. Stop the bulimic crap, go to another friendlier university where people are nice, and hope for the best. There's no sure way of making friends, and it's certainly not something you can find out on any website or prospectus beforehand. Just go there and try it. As for your boyfriend... I'm sorry to say it, but if it's over, upset as you might be, you must stop thinking there's something you can do about it and try to move on.

Emotions don't really come into this much. You know you will regret it later on in life if you don't take this opportunity now. :smile:

So you had a bad experience at one university, so what? Moving universities can be thought of as changing schools or changing jobs, they're all different, and just because the first one you had your eye on didn't appeal when you got there, doesn't mean you can't go somewhere else. :smile: