Never feel like having sex...

Brace yourself for some details here folks...

I have had a relationship that's been on and off for nearly 2 years now. He has quite a high sex drive where as I... well... I never feel in the mood to have sex. Or at least, very, very rarely do. When we have sex, I enjoy it but it never "wow"s me.. I don't believe I've ever properly orgasmed during it. He climaxs and I just don't. I think this might be what is putting me off.

Do you think this is a problem with me or with us? (He is my only sexual partner so I don't know either way)

Reply 1

theRaffa

get a new boyfriend darling.

unless you're ugly - at this point you're probably stuck with boring sex for life.

maybe try crochet?

Reply 2

Pomum96

Do you think it's related to anything else (any mental health problems to consider?)
Have you spoken to him about it (in a way that doesnt hurt his feelings)?
Try spicing things up with lingerie and sex toys? Try a different position so he's getting you at the right angle?
Vulgar songs, porn...
Or do you feel like you need more of an emotional connection to enjoy sex?
Idk
Im no guru

Reply 3

iAmanze

Tell him to get you to orgasm via foreplay first before actual sex. Make that a rule. Then maybe you can start to enjoy it as he has to find ways that feels best for you to be able to reach that point thus you'll enjoy it, he'll enjoy it. Happy days!

Men should never finish first in my opinion. It's ridiculously selfish. (unless he's going to continue after with toys/ fingers or what not to get you there after him).

Reply 4

william walker

You never feel like having sex with him is what you are saying? Maybe you are just bored?

Reply 5

Jebedee

Original post by amylou12345

Do you find it difficult to make yourself orgasm?

Reply 6

Ridingmyego

Original post by amylou12345

My opinion is in no way professional miss, but what I would say, is that simultaneous climax is very very rare, and you're far more likely to orgasm through oral (done patiently and correctly), or a combination of clitoral and vaginal stimulation. Apparently (I wouldn't know), it's fairly easy for men to finish via vaginal penetration alone.

Think of it like this: Men's sexuality is like a game of noughts and crosses. Women's sexuality is like a Rubik's cube.

Sex doesn't cross my mind very much, and a girlfriend with a low sex drive wouldn't bother me at all. In fact, it would allow for a lot more understanding if neither of us were to climax. At 22, I've never had penetrative sex, but I've done everything else.

Reply 7

TwinnyP

Original post by Ridingmyego

Judging by the ridiculous posts you make, you probably gonna be waiting awhile pal :yy:

Reply 8

Ridingmyego

Original post by TwinnyP

Judging by the ridiculous posts you make, you probably gonna be waiting awhile pal :yy:

Most likely, I have no interest in it so it may very well never happen :smile:

Reply 9

TwinnyP

Original post by Ridingmyego

Most likely, I have no interest in it so it may very well never happen :smile:

What an intensive and thrilling existence you are going to live my friend.

Reply 10

Ridingmyego

Original post by TwinnyP

What an intensive and thrilling existence you are going to live my friend.

Oh definitely, I've already nearly died in a motorbike crash, managed an opiate addiction, gained a First Class Ordinary degree, Stood as the Head Coach of a Men's and Women's Basketball team, lived all around the UK, engaged in acts of sex with men and women (aside from penetration), played guitar for 5 years and basketball for 12 before i lost the use of my left arm, and loved every minute of it so far :smile:

I'll continue to do it with out knowing my father, and while withstanding snidey little comments from people like you :smile:

good night sweetheart.

Reply 11

2ne1Aaron

Find other ways to communicate with him such as playing video games together or something, maybe this will compensate his needs to have sex all the time.

Reply 12

TwinnyP

Original post by Ridingmyego

I'll continue to do it with out knowing my father, and while withstanding snidey little comments from people like you :smile:

good night sweetheart.

Crashing a motor bike and having an addiction isn't normally classed as some form of achievement you drip. And rolling out some ****ty sympathy card without knowing other peoples situations doesn't make you morally any better than me.

You had already cemented the fact your weird, but all that confirms it. Go give your sister some more shaving tips :yy:

Reply 13

Danno190

Some people naturally don't have a high sex drive.
Some don't as a result of hormonal/medical issues. Some don't due to being on the Asexual side. Some don't because of bad experiences.

It could be any number of factors. Blaming yourself should be stopped straight away. It's not your fault.

My best advice would be to try and figure out what things you like (if any) on your own, before trying to incorporate them into the bedroom routine. Talk things through with Him as well, but in a way that doesn't suggest he's a crap f*ck, and see if he can shed any light on things.

Reply 14

scrotgrot

iAmanze is right. You have to do a diagnostic procedure cum boyfriend training programme, starting at square one by completely decoupling the idea of orgasm from penetration. If he is a selfish lover this will instil good foreplay habits in him. It will also diagnose if it is due to a psychological block on your part. And thirdly and finally it's usually not a problem to bring a woman to orgasm first and then penetrate her. She's nicely wet and I haven't encountered any hypersensitivity issues. This ensures that you both get your orgasms, even if it turns out after further experimentation to be the case that you can't get off from penetration, plus it gives him a nice wet minge to enjoy.