Boyfriend going to university

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Anonymous #1
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My boyfriend and I have been together now for about 6 months, however this September he is leaving for university (I am in the year below so going into 2nd year of a levels). I have been worrying and thinking about him leaving for a long time now wondering what would happen to us. He came over today and said that we should talk about us and basically said that although he still really likes me, he doesn't want to be in a relationship at university because he thinks it will be hard being in a long distance relationship and this is what he has always thought (he never told me this before), however he apologised for not being honest with me from the start that these were his intentions. I am absolutely gutted as I am in love with him (haven't told him this) but he did say that he wants to be really good friends and talk all the time, and then when he comes back for the holidays maybe we can pick up where we left off if we're both not seeing someone else. I really don't know how I feel about this because I am so in love with him and can't imagine being friends with him at all, I want more and I don't want be with anyone else. Also it would be weird if he was with other girls on nights out and then came back to me. But he says that he thinks it is unfair to both of us to carry on because he wants me to be happy and not wait around for him, but I honestly can't imagine being with anyone else. I want your opinions on what I should do, do you think its not fair that he's not willing to even try the long distance thing? And do you think this 'friends at uni' and then 'more than friends during the holidays' thing would be a good idea, because I'm not so sure. I really don't know what to do, I'm so upset because it feels like such a premature ending to our relationship because if he wasn't going to uni we'd still be properly together.
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Moordland
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tl;dr

Spoiler:
Show
NOW DANCE!
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Anonymous #2
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Man up. He clearly can't commit and just wants to go **** other girls at uni. Find a real man. Saying you could pick things up when he comes back in the holidays is basically referring to you as his back up plan.
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2071067
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It's over, seen so many people dump their partners once they went to university.
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Schrödingers Cat
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I'm in a similar situation, if you really love him as you say then you should tell him.

It sounds like he's just after something causal and wants to have sex with other girls at uni.

If you see a future maybe go on a break and see how you feel after a month
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sliceofcake
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(Original post by Schrödingers Cat)
I'm in a similar situation, if you really love him as you say then you should tell him.

It sounds like he's just after something causal and wants to have sex with other girls at uni.

If you see a future maybe go on a break and see how you feel after a month
I don't think I can really see the benefit of telling someone who wants to break up that you love them. They obviously don't love you if they're happy to break up to be free to go with other people. Saying I love you seems a bit redundant.

OP I don't doubt you when you say you can't imagine being with anyone else, but frankly that's just what relationships feel like. If you can see yourself with other people, as he can, you shouldn't be together. If you can't then it'll really hurt, but that doesn't mean you won't eventually be with someone else, even if it doesn't feel like it.

Getting together over the holidays definitely screams 'back up plan'. It's implying he doesn't care about you and that he just wants sex. He said that almost like he was doing you a favour, but (again, it might not feel it) he's doing you a favour by breaking up with you now. If he wants to break up for this reason then fine, it's up to him. I understand that he doesn't want the stress of a distant relationship, he wants to be able to do whatever with whoever he likes. It sure might hurt now, but eventually you'll realise that you probably shouldn't be in a relationship with someone who doesn't actually want to be in a long term relationship.
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kingdoo
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I think for once that this is the right decision and don't think what he has done is that horrible. I am really sorry about this and I know how hard this must be for you but seriously you will be in a long term relationship for 4 years if you go to a different university from him.

It is better knowing now than him breaking up with you when he's at uni possibly because he ends up cheating on you.

I have always said no relationships before uni because it would just be too challenging emotionally. This does not mean that he would cheat on you remember, he may end up having no relationships at uni but the fact is he won't see you that often and that can be extremely challenging.
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Ekemini
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I think you should let him go. There is nothing wrong him feeling he does not having feelings strong enough for him to stay with you long distance. There is no need for the above people saying he is not a man.
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saeed97
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Fatality
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kandykissesxox
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My boyfriend and I have been together now for about 6 months, however this September he is leaving for university (I am in the year below so going into 2nd year of a levels). I have been worrying and thinking about him leaving for a long time now wondering what would happen to us. He came over today and said that we should talk about us and basically said that although he still really likes me, he doesn't want to be in a relationship at university because he thinks it will be hard being in a long distance relationship and this is what he has always thought (he never told me this before), however he apologised for not being honest with me from the start that these were his intentions. I am absolutely gutted as I am in love with him (haven't told him this) but he did say that he wants to be really good friends and talk all the time, and then when he comes back for the holidays maybe we can pick up where we left off if we're both not seeing someone else. I really don't know how I feel about this because I am so in love with him and can't imagine being friends with him at all, I want more and I don't want be with anyone else. Also it would be weird if he was with other girls on nights out and then came back to me. But he says that he thinks it is unfair to both of us to carry on because he wants me to be happy and not wait around for him, but I honestly can't imagine being with anyone else. I want your opinions on what I should do, do you think its not fair that he's not willing to even try the long distance thing? And do you think this 'friends at uni' and then 'more than friends during the holidays' thing would be a good idea, because I'm not so sure. I really don't know what to do, I'm so upset because it feels like such a premature ending to our relationship because if he wasn't going to uni we'd still be properly together.
In hindsight you shouldn't be too surprised, he's a year above, there was always University in the picture. Get over it and find someone else.
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Handsome_Devil
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I bet he's got a netflix account ready
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saeed97
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But seriously op i think he just wants some new sugar walls
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sophicoco
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You deserve someone who would wait forever for you.
This dustbin cant even wait to whip out his **** in uni.
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rhiifuu
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He sounds like a pig tbh
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