Don't know what I want

I feel as though I'm going through each day but I see no point to it. It's hard to explain. I suppose I'm just not happy anymore and I don't know what I want out of life. I'll be needing to decide where I want to go to uni and what to study soon but I have no idea what I want. It worries me when everyone seems to have their lives planned out and here I am not knowing why I'm even living. I had planned on leaving my hometown for uni but I'm worried about leaving behind my family and my 'safe' life and don't think I'll be able to manage uni because right now yes I go to sixth form everyday, sit in my lessons and write everything down but it just makes me so miserable and bored and I don't know if I want that for at least 3 more years, but everyone including myself will be so disappointed in me if I don't go.
Also sometimes things just get on top of me aand I cant help crying when I'm alone in my bedroom. I've had a few problems regarding relationships recently and I can't seem to help but make them worse. I sometimes think everyone, my family and I, would be better off I weren't here but then I know thats not what I really want. I used to have dreams of having the perfect life, with the job I've always wanted and you know just to get married and have kids just normal things. But now I feel like I'm not good enough to be able to achieve that.
Argh sorry about it being so long. I haven't asked any questions in that but if anyone's read it and has anything that might help me then thanks :smile:

Reply 1

ravenous_soup_dragon

9

It sounds like you're suffering from depression mate. I think you really ought to go to the doctors and see if you can get any counselling or antidepressants, or failing that just have a chat to the Samaritans - talking through how you feel sometimes can take a weight off your shoulders.

I think it would be a really good idea to leave your hometown to go to uni - and uni's really something to look forward to. Regardless of where you go, or what you want to study, there's going to be hundreds of people and societies where you can be yourself and have fun. Do you think you could possibly be bored by your surroundings and school life? I got really frustrated with having to go to school in year 13 - most of my friends were in the year above and on gap years/at uni already and I felt like I'd already outgrown it. I know life can seem really boring and dull sometimes, but try to concentrate on the positives rather than the negatives - if you stare at your muddy feet whilst walking through a field, how can you look up and see the sun shining above? And trust me, your friends and relatives WILL definitely care if you weren't there. In fact, they would be devastated.

I hope you feel better soon. xx

Reply 2

Luize

13

I'm at uni now, my second year and we have a module where we talk about what we plan to do after we graduate. I haven't got a clue what I want to do. Or where I want to go after uni. I don't even know what type of job I would want. I'm not the only one that thinks that either.
I may not be able to help you with the other issues that you have outlined but I wouldn't worry too much about not knowing what you want to do. A lot of people don't know. It's a bit silly that so many people expect students to know what they want to do at 17/18

Reply 3

hannah_dru

2

I would also say depression too, as I've been thinking similar to the second half which you've written.

If you aren't sure what to study, you could use centigrade, which you can ask your sixth form about. It's a questionnaire type thing about yourself and personality which you fill out, pay £15 for, and you get results back about the type of careers you might enjoy.

Reply 4

gagol

You know, I didnt know what I wanted to do, I was going to go to nursing college but changed my mind at the last min and when to FE college. I went to one outside of my town, VERY scary first day but best 2 years of my life! The I wasnt sure about going to uni and even if I did go what would I study, Well I finally decided on Health studies ( I did Health and social care AVCE at college) and then International Development studies (It sounded good! lol) And now 3 years later I have graduated and got a job and im a much better person for it, Uni was amazing, had its ups and downs (many downs but they were because I was drunk! lol) But I cant immagine not going to uni, I only got a 2.2 but for me it was the experiance that counted!!!!

Reply 5

Mr. Fox

11

I'll tell you what you want, what you really really want.

You really really really wanna zigazig ha.

.....

I make myself sick.

Reply 6

gagol

what was the point in that mr fox?

Reply 7

Mr. Fox

11

Gaylee

what was the point in that mr fox?

What is the point of Spain, Gaylee?

Reply 8

gagol

I dont know what is the point of Spain Mr Fox? lol

Reply 9

Dutchmeister

Mr. Fox

What is the point of Spain, Gaylee?

Brilliant. Pos rep for you.

Reply 10

kad

errr, ok gaylee & mr fox....moving on.. :smile:

OP - it's really not unusual to not know wot u wanna do. gosh some ppl r in their 30s & still not sure what the hell they wanna do with themselves! ne thankful that you've got the opp to choose where & what to study. choose something u think you'll enjoy studying for 3 yrs. U said that things get u dwn, wot things specifically? if u feel that how u r feeling is really affecting yr day 2 day life, i.e. not sleeping well / 2 much, crying a lot, feeling sad a lot of the time, then do go & c a doctor. i hope things perk up 4 u soon.

Reply 11

Jelkin

17

Uni is a million times better than school and a hell of a lot more stimulating, not to mention all the different types of interesting people you will meet. Definitely give it a try. Try to live your life for the sake of living, rather than thinking you need a long-term purpose.

Don't know what I want

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