The Student Room Group

I am lonely... Ignored...

Hey everyone,

I am lonely, very... I feel like I am agnored in my school, outside school and by the society as a whole.

I don't know why. I don't know how to change it and how can I help myslef with it. Myabe I done something wrong or I haven't done something I had to.

People just ignore me in the school. I can't socialize with them in common room and just anywhere... feel like and outcast. It hurts me so much.

Not about relationship with girls, just general - anbout relationships with people around.
Reply 1
Nah you have done nothing wrong, i think a lot of people go through this. I did.

You are in college/sixth form i take it?
I suggest going to people, whether from the same subject or you happen to have a common interest?

"If lifes passing you by, trip it up!" a quote i was given. Use it, if your being ignored then try and get involved with them.

If your shy or self-conscious i agree it is a lot harder, but not impossible. I found diving into studies (taking an extra A-level with 4months to do it!) helped, well you still get down about too much work, but distract yourself.

How about out of school? no friends from like year 11 and before that you can start talking to again?
Reply 2
Start small. Make yourself talk to at least one person a day. Just be the first person to say hello or make a comment about something, anything, weather, football, school.
I don't know but I have a theory that if a person is always shy/quiet/never talks, then the people around that person just won't expect to hear from that person, and therefore ignore him. (hope that makes sense). Only kind people will try and include you into discussions.
I think you need to find the source of your problem. In the past have you been harrassed or just treated badly?
Once that's found you need to find some confidence. Actually making friends adds confidence, but it's actually having the guts to go up to these people that is the hardest part. Just bite the bullet and know you have nothing to lose :smile:
something similar happened to me.
u havent been very specific, but here is my example.
i am part of a large group of school friends. all girls, (girls school) about 14 of us. but they never invite me out to there little gatherings/nights out. and within the group, they seen to have there 'best 3 or 4 people' who they go out with etc etc. and im not in any. :frown:

recently, i joined a band, a completely completely new set of people. and i have sooo much more fun with them now. They treat me completely differently, and due to this, my confindence has improved, and i feel so much happier within myself. (as well as still being with my school friends.)

basically, i guess what my advice is, try and meet some completely new people. i know its easier said than done, but its worked a bit for me.
cheer up, :biggrin:
i agree with u black swan, i think aftering reading that advice, ur theory is very true for me also.
Reply 6
Nop, I am not shy and never had problems with self-condidence. It is something different. Moreover, I never had problems with opposite gender. It is something different.

I do sports, lots of other activities. Quite strong academically. Go to pubs with everyone. But in pub everyone is a friend with each other.

But in school I see, that people don't talk to me.
Reply 7
If they dont talk to you, try talking to them. I know its a lot harder than it sounds (and i dont have the confidence to do it myself) but its worth a shot.
Reply 8
I know how you feel. Also in a girls' school. =[. In school I'm friends with a big group but as an outcast and there's people from subjects I talk to, but only about work etc.

Try making your presence known, and getting closer to one person in the group. That way you have reason to be included in their conversation. It really is better to include yourself.

Since meeting my friends out of school who are my best friends, it hasn't been such a big issue for me but everyone needs someone, don't they?

You can PM me if you want to talk (Y)
I agree about the new friends thing. I had no idea my personality was based on the friends I kept. I think I good ice breaker is to make a joke, then go on from there. As someone else said make your presence known. I live in halls and I feel like this sometimes, but this is usually after I haven't seen my hall mates for a week or so. Just get out there :smile:
OMG u guys feel xactly like I do. I go to an all girls skwl and Im the happy one out of everyone in school I have loads of friends n im realli popular and stuff but I never get invited out at weekends and or asked to put in to joint presents even tho the other 20 are altho I am invited to parties. I think I feel lonely cus i belong to lots of groups but Im not a big person in any of them.

Altho things have got better as i now have 2 realli good m8s in skwl in ma form which are seperate from the original group I was excluded from. I think 6 form in general is a lonely time cus u spend so much time working and when u do relax u've missed most of the past convos anyway.

Well we'll just have to see what uni brings eh...but I think get involved in stuff out of skwl too.
Reply 11
Damn, why didn't people do the obvious & ignore the thread?

Well, it would have been kind of mean...OP, maybe join an art class or band, something outside of school? Otherwise, concentrate on your studies or a hobby while remembing that it won't be long until you're at uni. I was quite lonely until I came to uni; now I have plenty of friends who are like me.
I know how you feel OP because i sort of had the same problem. But now i don't bother anymore with people. Talk to people who are nice to you and if you don't have friends at school/ college just concentrate on your studies and we'll see what uni brings for all of us. Maybe try doing some extra stuff outside school which intrests you and hopefully that way you might meet some like minded people?:smile: But don't let it get to you too much you will find people like yourself who share similar interests etc.

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