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The Volkswagen Passat is a ballers vehicle

The Volkswagen Passat is the suavest, most sophisticated Saloon that the world has to offer. Its lengthly wheelbase, sturdy steel body and good looks make it an elegant and head turning offering to any saloon enthusiast. Turning up to a social occasion in this fine motor will be sure to get people talking, and you will have gained the instant respect of your rivals and females before you have even exited the vehicle. It has room for an entourage, even an expanding one. If one desires female company then no girl will be able to resist when this luxurious elegantly styled saloon pulls up next to her and offers her a ride.



Legend has it that owning a Passat makes you 100 times more likely to be respected whereas owning a French motor makes you 100% less likely to be respected. Not only will the Passat give you the best drive of your life it will also open up doors for you. According to the latest statistics acquired from the University of Ballers, 100% of Passat drivers attend a RG University and 90% of them go into jobs with a 6 figure salary or more
. You can't argue against facts. The Passat is such a sophisticated yet powerful motor that some claim if Jesus were alive today he'd drive one. It is hard to disagree. What better way to travel to carry out your next curing of the ill than to cruise to Bethlehem or Nazareth in a luxurious VW Passat? There is no better way. It's that simple.

The last word is luxury, it will inspire jealousy and admiration (in that order) from ones neighbours. The addition of this Saloon on the drive will increase house prices by 10% in the neighbourhood. The lower classes and those in menial occupations will recognise their place in society and bow their heads in the direction of this truly aspirational saloon as you drive past. Its wide thick tyres, low centre of gravity and powerful engine make this vehicle ideally suited to late night street racing on the M25, offering a turn of pace that other motorists simply can not hope to match.

Even comes with enough space for your wife's shopping. This is the car to show that you made it.

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Reply 1
hahaha is it balls. It's a clapped out taxi looking old man whip.
It's just an ordinary-looking, average saloon. Not my thing, and it's not a "baller's vehicle" by any means.

A great example of a 4-door "baller's vehicle" is this:

Spoiler

(edited 8 years ago)
A poor man's Honda Accord.
Lol, I wouldn't be seen dead in one of those. Disgusting! :puke:
Reply 5
Original post by Indeterminate
It's just an ordinary-looking, average saloon. Not my thing, and it's not a "baller's vehicle" by any means.

A great example of a 4-door "baller's vehicle" is this:

Spoiler


Thats a car for a loser. Not enough space for an entourage or tools and a pushchair in the boot for the baller children. Ballers work hard and play hard. Please never again link me that shameful monstrosity that you are trying to pass off as a ballers vehicle.
Original post by Mr JB
Thats a car for a loser. Not enough space for an entourage or tools and a pushchair in the boot for the baller children. Ballers work hard and play hard. Please never again link me that shameful monstrosity that you are trying to pass off as a ballers vehicle.


If I said to you "my car is 4 times as expensive as your car", then you wouldn't feel like such a baller, would you?
Reply 7
Original post by Most Competitive
If I said to you "my car is 4 times as expensive as your car", then you wouldn't feel like such a baller, would you?


If i said to you that I own a car, a jet ski and a boat and still have money left over to party whilst you wasted it all on a car to go from A to B, then yes I would feel like the baller who got more for his money than the idiot who splashed it all on a high priced commodity to impress people who in most cases probably couldn't give a ****.

Sayonara.
Original post by Mr JB
If i said to you that I own a car, a jet ski and a boat and still have money left over to party whilst you wasted it all on a car to go from A to B, then yes I would feel like the baller who got more for his money than the idiot who splashed it all on a high priced commodity to impress people who in most cases probably couldn't give a ****.

Sayonara.


But the thing is that I'm still living a very comfortable life. I don't need to prioritise one thing over another.

Btw, what makes you think that a Passat would impress anyone other than a taxi driver?
Reply 9
Original post by Most Competitive
But the thing is that I'm still living a very comfortable life. I don't need to prioritise one thing over another.

Btw, what makes you think that a Passat would impress anyone other than a taxi driver?


MMMM dat PD / CR diesel... fifty fiiiive miles to the gallooooon hnnnnnnng.

But meh its a taxi drivers/middle managment company car. The VW Pheaton on the other hand.
traintracks1995 is that you????
Original post by CAElite
MMMM dat PD / CR diesel... fifty fiiiive miles to the gallooooon hnnnnnnng.

But meh its a taxi drivers/middle managment company car. The VW Pheaton on the other hand.


The Phaeton has always confused me, because most people would rather have an S-Class, 7-Series or A8 for that kind of money.
Original post by Most Competitive
The Phaeton has always confused me, because most people would rather have an S-Class, 7-Series or A8 for that kind of money.


Yeah its probably one of the least desirable high end saloons in the UK. Meaning in the 2nd hand market they sell for buttons. Depreciation is nuts. Also some of the most fantastic engines. V10 TDI and W12.
Reply 13
Ballers vehicle. :cool:
Original post by CAElite
Yeah its probably one of the least desirable high end saloons in the UK. Meaning in the 2nd hand market they sell for buttons. Depreciation is nuts. Also some of the most fantastic engines. V10 TDI and W12.


Disappointed the Phaeton V10 TDI didn't win 'Tow Car of the Year' tbh :tongue:
just lol.

A passat won't ever be anything except a taxi or the taste of a failed life goal when they couldn't afford a high end saloon.

Saying a Passat is a ballers vehicle is like saying a Suzuki SX4 is an executive SUV.

It's like driving a Ford KA in the BTCC.

lol


We could have had a Passat as our new family car, but we'd have had to go four tiers down the list.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by XMaramena
It's like driving a Ford KA in the BTCC.


That would to be fair be hilarious.

Unlike the VW Passat which defiantly doesn't have a sense of humour.
Original post by Mr JB
If i said to you that I own a car, a jet ski and a boat and still have money left over to party whilst you wasted it all on a car to go from A to B, then yes I would feel like the baller who got more for his money than the idiot who splashed it all on a high priced commodity to impress people who in most cases probably couldn't give a ****.

Sayonara.


I can't quite work out if you're trolling.

Passat is for middle of the road office workers and fairly reliable hand me downs on the used car market.

that's it.

And yes, that Audi looks way better.
Original post by thisistheend
I can't quite work out if you're trolling.


Here, let me help


"I own a car, a jet ski and a boat and still have money left over to party"
"The Passat is such a sophisticated yet powerful motor that some claim if Jesus were alive today he'd drive one."
Traintracks!

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