lifes dark little corner

1

hey all,

i feel really self-conscious evry time when im with people, whether its one person in my presence or 100! i just feel scared of saying something in case i say it wrong and then people would get the wrong impression. I often wonder what people think of me, as i am shy and quiet, and unconsciously tend to take the listening role amongst a group - its like i just forget to speak or something.
Also at work recently my quietness and i guess my voice in some sense sort of conveys to people that im a pushover because when i speak its quiet (though not too quiet) and i often get intimidated by people who speak abruptly etc. I get the impression that people think im dumb or something. For example, i was on the phone at work to someone who we employ , and although ive been doing this job since last june, these people are like "is x,y or z there" i.e. i dont wanna talk to you, pass the phone to some else. I feel very insignificant in the workplace because of instances like that, and even though im a temp its not like i cant do the job. I just find that some people are really really nice and if you dont know something or understand something, they wil just laugh it off and help you, whereas others just treat you like **** and make you feel soo small. I often think what my manager thinks of me, i know he thinks im quiet but thats what i am - i dont how to be any different !
I just feel very cornered at the moment it feels like different aspects of my life and falling into pices bit by bit. Yesterday my dad rung me and said to me that he thinks he's got depression..again! At uni the work load is so much i really cant cope although i wont admit it to my parents, probably cos im too proud and want to show them that i can handle responsabilities my self and time manage. Im working aswell as going to uni, and just cos uni is getting alot i dont want to give up work cos then i wont get any money, and i need the money to ease of borrowing money from my parents just so i can buy stuff. Ive often felt like quitting uni but then i cant cos what am i gonna do then! so i might aswell finish what ive started
I dont really have frineds that i can rely on,..i dont have a boyfriend..it just me myself and i...im just taking each day as it comes but each day just feels harder and harder. Im just tierd of trying to cope with things, i know life aint easy but its like the pressure never eases.
I dunno quite what im looking for in this... i just needed to release.

Reply 1

jack_sparrow

If you don't feel like you can rely on your friends, maybe its time to think about getting some new ones? And don't worry about the job, confidence in the workplace comes with time, if you're only a temp, you can't be expected to know everything, and yes, some pricks will get a bit fed up of having to spoon feed you, but not everyone's like that, so don't worry about it.

As for the no boyfriend, chin up n keep looking!

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

angelj

hey all,

i feel really self-conscious evry time when im with people, whether its one person in my presence or 100! i just feel scared of saying something in case i say it wrong and then people would get the wrong impression. I often wonder what people think of me, as i am shy and quiet, and unconsciously tend to take the listening role amongst a group - its like i just forget to speak or something.
I just feel very cornered at the moment it feels like different aspects of my life and falling into pices bit by bit.
At uni the work load is so much i really cant cope although i wont admit it to my parents, probably cos im too proud and want to show them that i can handle responsabilities my self and time manage. .

Thats exactly like me. Right with the uni work go and talk to one of your tutors about it. I know it seems so hard but it helps (trust me ive just had to go and admit that i cant cope at the minute and it was the hardest thing in the world but its worth it). I can't really help with the self-conscious thing because im still struggling with it myself but you just need to keep pushing yourself a little more each day, you'll get there eventually.
Hope i helped a little

lifes dark little corner

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