Still hung up on this girl.

Hey everyone.

I'm having problems with trying to get over th is girl I really like(d). Basically I used to be in the same group as her at school but she never spoke much to anyone and she was very much the class pariah. I did always try and make conversation with her but the conversation was often abrubt and was never a two-way conversation. Anyways I never felt that way about her but eventually I starting having feelings for her. But every time I wanted to approach her and tell her, I just wasn't able too or it was never the right moment.

Anyways. I have bumped into her a few times since we left school (out and about) and again the conversation is the same. I still haven't ever stopped thinking about her. I recently found out she was on facebook and so I decided to add her. But I then found out a day later she had declined my invitation. I was left really crushed. I know she still remembers me as we sat next each other for a year and I was one of few people that actually spoke to her at school (even if it was a few words). The fact is I haven't stopped thinking about her since I left school. I have no other means of contacting her except facebook so naturally I was upset when it would appear that route has now closed.

My friends have told me to leave it and move on but it still preys on my mind. One of my friends told me to try adding her again in a month or so.

What should I do? If it's a case of simply moving on and forgetting about it, how do I do this?

:frown:

Reply 1

ISH

9

I've always found that telling someone helps. Not being an ***, just saying, if you tell her how you feel, she might respond with how she feels.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

But if she's declining friendship in the form of not adding me to her facebook, then how exactly do I approach her and tell her how I feel?

Reply 3

Yoda

12

You don't. You ****ed up already, move on.

What happens if you chase someone? They run. So just leave her be and move on, else she'll literally hate you. Learn how to act on some girl you don't care about.

Reply 4

Yoda

12

I_Surf_Hawaii

I've always found that telling someone helps. Not being an ***, just saying, if you tell her how you feel, she might respond with how she feels.

And while that is what is generally thought, its crap. Though it makes it easier for me, you just shouldn't do that.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Would she honestly feel any different towards me than she feels right now?

Reply 6

Tyrannosaurus Cal

15

Yoda

What happens if you chase someone? They run. So just leave her be and move on, else she'll literally hate you. Learn how to act on some girl you don't care about.

Glad to know romance isn't dead.

But to the OP, I would personally find someone else to focus on, maybe someone you don't know? It means you can then get to know someone new, maybe with a bit more of a chance of success

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

The thing is I have bumped into this girl a few times since school and I don't know. For some reason I feel she may be right for me but judging on what I told you baout her attitude towards me, it may all be just a dream.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

So do you think I should maybe try and contact her again and maybe this time tell her how I feel?

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Hey this is the OP again.

As hard as I try I find it difficult to get this girl out of my mind. Even though she knocked back my request to add her as a friend on Facebook, I still can't stop thinking about her. I'm thinking of possibly trying again in a month or so and if she knocks me back again, maybe sending her a private message telling her how I feel about her.

For some reason I feel she is the one (or maybe was the one) and I always am comparing new girls I meet with her.

I really don't know what to do with this anymore.

Please help. :frown:

Reply 10

Anonymous #2

Well it's the same for me with this one girl... except I'm really good friends with her.. so perhaps it isn't the same.. You have to actually have talked to the girl to know that she's the one. I understand however the whole thing about comparing all other girls you meet to her - same happens to me every time..

Reply 11

shavenwookiee

6

Anonymous

Hey this is the OP again.

As hard as I try I find it difficult to get this girl out of my mind. Even though she knocked back my request to add her as a friend on Facebook, I still can't stop thinking about her. I'm thinking of possibly trying again in a month or so and if she knocks me back again, maybe sending her a private message telling her how I feel about her.

For some reason I feel she is the one (or maybe was the one) and I always am comparing new girls I meet with her.

I really don't know what to do with this anymore.

Please help. :frown:

She ISNT the one - how could she be when you've only ever shared short and sporadic conversations?

I dont know about yourself, but on facebook I'll accept invites from pretty much anyone I have a previous connection with, even if its through a friend. Take the hint man, if she doesnt even want you as a friend on FACEBOOK, your chances are very, very, very slim.

Move on, find someone better.

Reply 12

Anonymous #3

Just don't get so hung up on her. No offence intended, but by your actions it seems like you're being a touch creepy, and if she's not interested, it's unlikely that she ever will be.

Just remember, there's plenty more fish in the sea. It sounds like she's being a bit of an arse towards you anyway, so why are you still bothered about her. Move on and find someone else.....or in fact, just generally befriend girls without thinking about relationships all the time and in time one might even make a move on you.

Reply 13

Anonymous #4

She might decline by accident, I almost declined my friends (both guys and girls), and facebook by accident. :wink:

try adding again.

it is not normal for ppl to decline btw, i think it was a mistake... people generally accept everyone they know in reall life on facebook, even the n00bs in school or something... :wink:

Reply 14

emerley

14

the phrase "you always want what you cant have" springs to mind.

i really think that her being distant is whats making you want her more.

maybe try adding her again in a couple of months but if she declines again then you're just going to have to leave it. i honestly dont think she can be the one if youve barely even spoken to her properly

i know it's hard, but you've got to try and find someone else, just take your mind off of her and stop comparing everyone to her - you will find someone who you can actually get close to, trust me, there's no point chasing this.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

OP

OK so I think I will try again in the near future.

But if she knocks me back again, how exactly do I get her out of my mind? If I knew how to do that, I wouldn't be in this mess now. :frown:

Reply 16

sherunsaway

2

Anonymous

OK so I think I will try again in the near future.

But if she knocks me back again, how exactly do I get her out of my mind? If I knew how to do that, I wouldn't be in this mess now. :frown:

Find someone else to get all hung about over. It's amazing how quickly you forget about someone when there's suddenly someone more appealing to you. Get active in meeting new people through sports/music/clubs whatever. Girls dig guys that seem independent in making friends and are generally confident. By being so obsessed about this girl and making it the centre of your life you're screwing your head up. Focus on sorting your own life out......think selfishly, what matters is your own well-being. She's obviously not the one so don't get so worked up about it, you're only going to end up being viewed as a creep if she doesn't want you on facebook and that can only end up leading to embarassment and loss of face on your part. Go to Amsterdam if you really want to get her out of your mind.

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

OP

Hey guys this is the OP. It's be over a month since I tried to ge tin touch with this girl and as I pointed out in my first post she declined even friendship.

Having thought about it really long and hard, I've decided to leave her in the past now and move on. The fact is I was always nice to her at school. Nobody ever used to speak to her and I was the only person that ever tried and I even defended her a few times when soem of the other students used to pick on her sometimes asa result of stuff she would say to atangonise others. Obviously she seems to have forgotten all that.

Anyways I don't think there's any point wasting my life thinking about her. Infact I've already got over her and planned how to spend the rest of my gap year doing lots of cool stuff and come September I'll be heading off to university and training to hopefully one day become a responsible doctor.

Thanks for advice my friends but it looks like I have made the right decision in the end.

:smile:

Reply 18

Strictly Business

14

Anonymous

So do you think I should maybe try and contact her again and maybe this time tell her how I feel?

No. I'm gonna be quite harsh, but its the turth: she doesn't care for you (its apparent from her not engaging in a conversation with you, and the fact that she declined your Facebook friend invite - this shows she's a bitch, by the way). Just ignore her completely next time you meet.

Ignoring the girl and blocking her out of your mind is quite easy - just go on nights out and have fun and enjoy yourself.

If that doesn't work... man up and stop being a sucker.

Edit: this was before I read your last post.

Reply 19

shavenwookiee

6

Anonymous

Hey guys this is the OP. It's be over a month since I tried to ge tin touch with this girl and as I pointed out in my first post she declined even friendship.

Having thought about it really long and hard, I've decided to leave her in the past now and move on. The fact is I was always nice to her at school. Nobody ever used to speak to her and I was the only person that ever tried and I even defended her a few times when soem of the other students used to pick on her sometimes asa result of stuff she would say to atangonise others. Obviously she seems to have forgotten all that.

Anyways I don't think there's any point wasting my life thinking about her. Infact I've already got over her and planned how to spend the rest of my gap year doing lots of cool stuff and come September I'll be heading off to university and training to hopefully one day become a responsible doctor.

Thanks for advice my friends but it looks like I have made the right decision in the end.

:smile:

Awesome man, I'm glad you've made a sensible decision. Now you're free to go off an find someone much fitter :biggrin:

Still hung up on this girl.

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