This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- long distance at university
- Worried sick about my eyesight check
- Maintenance loan for Full time online distance course - Mature Student
- Long distance relationship Advice
- E-bicycles and E-scooters in Durham?
- London metropolitan math test
- Lancaster Colleges
- Cambridge which college has accommodations closest to the Law Faculty ?
- Holding a relationship whilst studying?
- Will intercalating separate me and my partner for our foundation programme?
- Boyfriend
- Keeping lifelong friends
- bf not replying
- Long distance bf
- Offer Holder Day - UAL LCF
- hills road sixth form
- do i swap unis to be with my boyfriend
- worried wont get accom at kcl
- The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre Mark II
- GCSE English Lang paper 1 question 2
Long distance worries
Hi everyone just looking for peoples thoughts and opinions especially of anyone who has already gone through it or will be going through it.
its just ive been with my gf for almost a year now and we are both off to uni this september, now our choices are generally all quite different, we both want to stay together-WILL stay together, and as close as possible but to be honest i think we both also know that the universities we really want to go to are probabally the ones that are quite a long way away from each other.
my question is what would you choose and how? and well everything!
Thanx
its just ive been with my gf for almost a year now and we are both off to uni this september, now our choices are generally all quite different, we both want to stay together-WILL stay together, and as close as possible but to be honest i think we both also know that the universities we really want to go to are probabally the ones that are quite a long way away from each other.
my question is what would you choose and how? and well everything!
Thanx
Reply 1
Just because you're going to be at different unis, that doesn't mean it can't work. 
I'm currently at Warwick and my boyfriend's at Sheffield, so fortunately we're only about 1.5 hours away from eachother at the mo. The next 2 years we're going to be spending in different countries though because we both do language degrees. LDRs are hard. You have to be sure you can trust the other person.. and even if you are, sometimes jealousy can become a bit of a problem. Just make sure you ring eachother a lot, talk to eachother on msn etc. How far away do you think you'll be? You could save up some money over the summer so you can go and see her a lot at weekends. It will be hard , but if you love her it'll be worth it, and the time you do get together will be even more special! Good luck !
I'm currently at Warwick and my boyfriend's at Sheffield, so fortunately we're only about 1.5 hours away from eachother at the mo. The next 2 years we're going to be spending in different countries though because we both do language degrees. LDRs are hard. You have to be sure you can trust the other person.. and even if you are, sometimes jealousy can become a bit of a problem. Just make sure you ring eachother a lot, talk to eachother on msn etc. How far away do you think you'll be? You could save up some money over the summer so you can go and see her a lot at weekends. It will be hard , but if you love her it'll be worth it, and the time you do get together will be even more special! Good luck ! 
The search button is your friend...there are a million threads on this. 
Putting it succinctly: I've been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years, and for all of that time we've been living in different countries (noooo, before you ask, this isn't one of those internet relationships where we haven't actually met ). So yes, it can work, but it's not always easy. I'd be inclined to say that if your relationship ends, chances are it will be for reasons other than the distance.
Putting it succinctly: I've been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years, and for all of that time we've been living in different countries (noooo, before you ask, this isn't one of those internet relationships where we haven't actually met
). So yes, it can work, but it's not always easy. I'd be inclined to say that if your relationship ends, chances are it will be for reasons other than the distance.Reply 4
From experience I'd tell you to try your very very best not to think about it yet. it'll ruin everything you've already got thinking about it and you don't know what will have changed before september. you might as well make the most of what you have.
Reply 5
Dont worry about being in a LDR if you truely trust and love each other, they can and do work if its meant to be. Iv been with my boyfriend for 3 years and hes recently gone to south america for 5 months for his gap year whilst im still in sunny england at uni, altho at times its unbearable i think its just making us a stronger couple which i think happened when i went to uni and he was still at home, so try not to worry cos so many people are in LDRs and have made them work. Its all about trust and communication, telling each other how you really feel and making compromises if needed. Its nearly been a month since iv seen my bf and i only get to communicate with him via email/msn every couple of weeks or so, so yeh it is hard but it can be done and i really do think it will make you and ur gf feel closer as you appreciate the time you have together a million times more. Hope that helps xxx
Reply 6
What other people on here have said is right, it can work if your love is true and you trust each other. Enjoy the moments you have together now and make memories because they are what will help you through tougher times ahead...
Marc
Marc
Plenty of threads, as have been said. Do a search for more info.
Uni isn't the shag fest everyone makes it out to be. There won't be any pressure to be unfaithful, you won't miss out on anything by being in a relationship and long distance relationships aren't nearly as uncommon as you might expect, as I did. (At one point, 9/10 of my corridor was in one.)
Say the terms are 10 weeks long. If each of you visit eachother two or three times a term, what with seeing each other in the holidays, there's no reason to go more than a fortnight without seeing eachother. Train tickets booked in advance don't cost very much wherever you are in the country.
Uni isn't the shag fest everyone makes it out to be. There won't be any pressure to be unfaithful, you won't miss out on anything by being in a relationship and long distance relationships aren't nearly as uncommon as you might expect, as I did. (At one point, 9/10 of my corridor was in one.)
Say the terms are 10 weeks long. If each of you visit eachother two or three times a term, what with seeing each other in the holidays, there's no reason to go more than a fortnight without seeing eachother. Train tickets booked in advance don't cost very much wherever you are in the country.
Reply 8
Choose your uni based on what's best for you and not for the both of you. If this relationship really means that much to you, you'll find a way to make it work.
My bf and I met in secondary school and we've been together for nearly 4 years. During that time he's been studying in the USA whereas I'm here in the UK but we see each other during ever major holiday & as often in between as we can. I found the first few months to be the toughest; it's the biggest test of the trust and communication in your relationship but you've just got to keep busy & make yr own set of friends at uni.
While some people have said "it's not a real relationship" I really beg to differ... If everytime you are with each other, things feel exactly the same as it was the last time you were together then clearly you've got something worth keeping. It's either a long-distance relationship or not being with the other person at all.
My bf and I met in secondary school and we've been together for nearly 4 years. During that time he's been studying in the USA whereas I'm here in the UK but we see each other during ever major holiday & as often in between as we can. I found the first few months to be the toughest; it's the biggest test of the trust and communication in your relationship but you've just got to keep busy & make yr own set of friends at uni.
While some people have said "it's not a real relationship" I really beg to differ... If everytime you are with each other, things feel exactly the same as it was the last time you were together then clearly you've got something worth keeping. It's either a long-distance relationship or not being with the other person at all.
Reply 9
Choose what you want to do and then go from there. That's what I'm doing. If you both love each other then you'll make it work, and it sounds like you definitely want to do that.
As has been said before, if you love each other, you can work it. I was very scared that my boyfriend and I would split up when, instead of at home, 7 miles apart, we were suddenly 200 miles apart at uni, but we're still together, and I still feel the same for him.
Just one piece of advice. Don't let paranoia get the better of you.
Just one piece of advice. Don't let paranoia get the better of you.
Reply 11
OK, I'm going to post this as anom, and going to tell you what happened to me.
Me and my ex, had been together for over a year and a half, we went to spain together for two weeks, had trips in paris, etc, never spent a moment apart. We were very much in love.
Then came university.
It was hard, going from seeing each other everyday, to seeing each other everyweek 2 weeks to a month was a big strain. We split up.
I'm not saying it can't work, I'm saying we personally have the strength to continue. Thats not true for everyone, if you love the person, by all means try a LDR, just be aware of others experiences.
Me and my ex, had been together for over a year and a half, we went to spain together for two weeks, had trips in paris, etc, never spent a moment apart. We were very much in love.
Then came university.
It was hard, going from seeing each other everyday, to seeing each other everyweek 2 weeks to a month was a big strain. We split up.
I'm not saying it can't work, I'm saying we personally have the strength to continue. Thats not true for everyone, if you love the person, by all means try a LDR, just be aware of others experiences.
Reply 12
I had a 'long distance relationship' I guess it was a while ago but I loved him. absolutely. the manner in which we met was just.. something out of a fairy story and that is how our lives seemed to go. but then he couldn't cope anymore. and that was it. he broke my heart. I think long distance is fine, until you get attached. you want to see them more. You get unrealistic. It makes you very unhealthy.
Last september I went up to bradford uni levaing my boyfriend in London in his full time job.
So far it has worked very well for us There's no ways I (or him) wanted to give up on our relationship, so we haven't. Sometimes it's hard not seeing him for a while and I miss him terribly but we get though. From the time he leaves one weekend I just start looking forward to when his next going to visit. In the mean time I just get n with my studies and the parties!
It's worked very well for us for the past 5 months and hopefully will continue too.
I know sometimes it's hard but we get though it.
People need to put their education first by chooseing the uni best for them but not giving up on a relationship just because of a distance.
So far it has worked very well for us There's no ways I (or him) wanted to give up on our relationship, so we haven't. Sometimes it's hard not seeing him for a while and I miss him terribly but we get though. From the time he leaves one weekend I just start looking forward to when his next going to visit. In the mean time I just get n with my studies and the parties!
It's worked very well for us for the past 5 months and hopefully will continue too.
I know sometimes it's hard but we get though it.
People need to put their education first by chooseing the uni best for them but not giving up on a relationship just because of a distance.
Reply 14
they neva work LDR's
Anonymous
I had a 'long distance relationship' I guess it was a while ago but I loved him. absolutely. the manner in which we met was just.. something out of a fairy story and that is how our lives seemed to go. but then he couldn't cope anymore. and that was it. he broke my heart. I think long distance is fine, until you get attached. you want to see them more. You get unrealistic. It makes you very unhealthy.
Pfft, says you. I'm sorry for what happened to you but are you implying that those of us in successful LDRs couldn't possibly be attached to our partners in any way?
Reply 16
'LDRs' put excess strain upon a relationship that otherwise would not be there. Only the very best of relationships will survive. There is no reason you should give it up though simply because of the distance, however before anyone gets hurt you should end it. Don't let it go bad and then slowly let it die, one or other will cheat and break the others heart.
There's no reason why you shouldn't try, but if you do feel the relationship going bad, you should do the decent thing and end it. There's absolutely no reason to cheat on another person. In fact I'm amazed that my boyfriend is so laid-back given the number of opportunities I've been given to cheat on him.
Reply 18
Just go for it and see what happens. I'm at uni in Sheffield and my girlfriend works 5 days a week down in Kent which means that we only get to see each other once every 2 or 3 weeks, but there're these little things called the internet and telephones.
I text my girlfriend everyday on her lunch break and when she gets home and has had her dinner, she goes online and we spend several hours talking online every night. Yeah, it's not the same, but it's pretty damn good.
The other option is doing like I'm going to do and go out and buy a car and drive to see your girlfriend.
But let me say this - no matter what people say, if you love your girlfriend and she loves you, it'll be fine. I wish you both all the best.
I text my girlfriend everyday on her lunch break and when she gets home and has had her dinner, she goes online and we spend several hours talking online every night. Yeah, it's not the same, but it's pretty damn good.
The other option is doing like I'm going to do and go out and buy a car and drive to see your girlfriend.
But let me say this - no matter what people say, if you love your girlfriend and she loves you, it'll be fine. I wish you both all the best.
Related discussions
- long distance at university
- Worried sick about my eyesight check
- Maintenance loan for Full time online distance course - Mature Student
- Long distance relationship Advice
- E-bicycles and E-scooters in Durham?
- London metropolitan math test
- Lancaster Colleges
- Cambridge which college has accommodations closest to the Law Faculty ?
- Holding a relationship whilst studying?
- Will intercalating separate me and my partner for our foundation programme?
- Boyfriend
- Keeping lifelong friends
- bf not replying
- Long distance bf
- Offer Holder Day - UAL LCF
- hills road sixth form
- do i swap unis to be with my boyfriend
- worried wont get accom at kcl
- The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre Mark II
- GCSE English Lang paper 1 question 2
Latest
Trending
Last reply 2 months ago
Engineering vs. Medicine: Stuck Between Dreams and ExpectationsLast reply 2 months ago
heyyy , im new heree and im willing to have some friends xxxLast reply 3 months ago
Im 16 and never had a gf and it doesnt feel ok.
