which way to approach things

i am aware that its in theory impossible for people i don't know to provide relevant advice about personal stuff... however i don't have anybody around to ask at the moment.

i have been in a relationship for approximately 10 months, and its been slowly falling apart. this guy was the first person i had a crush on, i went out with other people in between but we've always been on and off and then we chose to give it a proper go.

when it was good it was really good, but for reasons of circumstance and just because things change its been falling apart. so he finished stuff for good last night. i don't hate him, that might be easier but i don't. hes made the right decision and whilst i am really very upset i feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders at the same time.

anyway. i'm seeing him tonight to tell him how i want to deal with things. in the past i've always ended up having to cut the guy out completely in order to move on and get over it. but he wants to be friends and i don't know if i want to live my life entirely without him. so i need to decide either way, and i just don't know whats best for me in the long run.

Reply 1

generalebriety

You got it right from the start. We don't know you or him or your relationship, so we can't really comment. :smile:

But... if you want to be friends with him, that's a perfectly sensible way to go about it. If I was him and you didn't want to be friends I'd be quite upset - but then, it's your decision. If you don't hate him, why even consider falling out with him? On the other hand, of course, if that's the only way for you to get over him, and he doesn't mind, then do it.

Personally I would start off being friends on the condition that, if I really couldn't handle it, I could break it off altogether... and then I would give being friends a good go. And if it didn't work, cut him out altogether - after explaining to him, of course. How's that sound?