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doctor doctor

ok i have ended up in a situation i really cant get out of! basically i am only 19 years old, i am in my 1st year of uni and am like dating 3 guys!! i am not a slag at all.. i dont know how ive ended up in this situation! i just dont know how to say no when i think a guy is nice. i didnt even mean to get into this situation! the first guy i have been seeing since 6th form.. we were tight in 6th form but cos of uni we have deceided to still stay together but just give each other free space and free time to meet new friends and make new friends in uni! the second guy.. well i met at freshers week. i didnt mean to end up dating him, to me i was just makin a new frend in uni. he asked me to go to a theatre then pizza hut with him and i honestly thought we were goin in just friendly terms! we went out alot together without anthin happenin such as watching his football team play, cinema's, pubs, clubbing and all along i was unintentionally leading him on! then valentines day came up and he just assumed i'm his girl and somehow we ended up having sex! anyway the 3rd guy... is a newly qualified doctor who i met (as i study a medical related subject) and i cant help but be attracted to him! hes just perfect in every way and such a gentleman, knows how to treat a woman, he is successful in life and very different from guys in uni and college in respect to his experience and maturity. we have ended up dating now after our endless and continuous flirting! i just feel competely different around him and have noticed how different i act when i am with him. i want things to go further with him but at the same time i dont wanna break the guy ive been with since college's heart or turn down the guy i met at freshers week cos he is really sweet too! i dont know what to do. although if i was to choose one guy it would be the 3rd one, i feel as though i would be choosing him for the wrong reasons and that it will be a short term relationship, however hes the only one makes me feel so exicted but i feel it may be just lust.

Reply 1

*starry_eyed_*

14

Sorry but what you're doing to these guys is just wrong. There they are thinking you like them and you're just going to end up hurting them. OK you might have thought you were just friends with one of them, but surely you cold have said something when it went past that?

Reply 2

Philosoraptor

18

You should choose one particular person!

Reply 3

Talon

18

You dont deserve any of them. Harsh but true.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

i dont understand how u can say i dont deserve any of them. cos the guy i met at freshers week i thought of him as a friend and thought he felt the same way until valentines day! he just ended up kissing me and takin my clothes off... its like i couldnt say no i felt like i was owing him in a way cos hes been such a good freind to me since day 1.

my original bf (from 6th form) well hes in durham uni and we havnt seen each other since christmas.. he expects us to still have a long distant relationship i really dont know how to tell him how unhappy i am with the state of our relatiosnhip as i have known him since i was 12.

with both these guys if i end it i will be ending important friendships in my life too.

with the doctor... i just feel so must sexual infatuation for him. i like the older man role and in that sense being vulnerable but at the same time knowing hes my protector. theres just so much sexual chemistry with him

Reply 5

Helenia

20

Either this is a troll, or someone who's very very naive.

Being friends with someone does not mean you "owe" them anything, especially sexually. You can ALWAYS say no, and should have in this situation.

Quite simply, at some point they'll all find out about one another. And that will NOT be pretty. You have the chance to sort it out yourself, or it'll only get messier.

Reply 6

Schroedinger's Pandora

13

I'm actually jealous! :p:

It's usually the other way round - I start really liking/seeing a guy, then find out he's dating other girls!!

Hmm, a big part of me is tempted to tell you to enjoy your youth (and the attention you appear to be getting) whilst you still have it.. I mean, men have been doing this to us girls for centuries!! I mean as long as you have made it clear that none of these relationships are monogamous then I guess you aren't technically doing anything bad (how many men have you heard use that excuse??), but if it hasn't been made clear you should probably take a deep breath and put that right..

You've just found yourself in an awkward situation. We all do it.

Reply 7

username43584

8

You don't deserve any of them. Simple as that. You've led them on to believe that you genuinely want to be with all of them, which you can't. They'll never forgive you when they find out.

Just because you have feelings for all of them doesn't mean you can just string them along!

Reply 8

L0RA

9

How can someone (the guy) think you're in a relationship with him if you hadnt done anything vaguely sexual until Valentines day? If you had dont sexual things with him then you're stupid to think he was just a friend.

You obviously cant be faithful to the guy from sixth form so stop trying and let him have some single fun instead of thinking he's with you when hes not in your mind.

If you want the doctor then stick with him and go for it.

Reply 9

gracie88

14

I have no words for this. How can you do this to people you're meant to like? :s-smilie:

Reply 10

Schroedinger's Pandora

13

And I don't think you have any need to apologise, you think ending your romanticism with 2 of them you will lose their friendship.. and I totally understand that. And we all have sex. It's nobody's business but your own.

You shouldn't been obliged to be romantic with people because you're scared you'll lose their friendship otherwise, but i'm afraid we can't always have the things the way we want them. You may lose friendship, but you will be moving forward with your life, don't you think?

You're 19 for god's sake. Live a little. :wink:

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

well like i said the 2nd guy at freshers i did not mean to lead him on at all! its only on valentines day i realised i was givin him the wrong idea when we ended up having sex. i must admit the sex was mindblowing.. not tryin to sound funny but i think a big reason why i ended up havin sex is not only cos i felt as though i was owing him but also because it was the first time i was having sex since chriistmas! so i was sexually very frustrated. but to all those people thinkin im a b****, i havnt slept with him since! and i want to tell him how i mistakenly got involved with him thinkin we were just good friends but i just dont know how to tell him! if this was an easy thing then i would have just told him straight up i really dont wanna hurt his feelins or lose his friendship. how do i tell him i just wanna be friends after having sex with him and goin to cinema, restaurants, theatre with him soo many times with him paying all the time (and b4 anyone accuses me of using him 4 free movies/meal he insisted every time on paying)! i dont want him to feel used.
As for my first bf i lost my virginity to him i cant just end it like that but how can we continue and expect to abstain from sex when we see each other during holidays?
right now however bad this may sound all i can think about is the new man i have met. he isnt a boy like the other 2....

Reply 12

Schroedinger's Pandora

13

wesetters

And not that of the people she has sex with ?

Person?

... And is it any of yours???

Reply 13

*starry_eyed_*

14

and i want to tell him how i mistakenly got involved with him

where does he think he stands in this...actually, where do all the guys think they stand with you??

As for my first bf i lost my virginity to him i cant just end it like that but how can we continue and expect to abstain from sex when we see each other during holidays?

Its not impossible, plenty of people manage long distance relationships. But maybe you're just not suited to it. In which case, don't go leading him on, letting him think he's the only one.

right now however bad this may sound all i can think about is the new man i have met. he isnt a boy like the other 2....[/

and do you think a mature man like this would want a girl who dates more than one guy at a time and doesn't know what to do?

sorry to be so harsh, i just don't see how this can have a happy ending.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

i am actually quite mature myself otherwise i wouldnt hav attracted a doctor! but i a mistakenly got myself involved into this love problem. why isnt anyone blaming the "freshers" guy for what happend? why is it always the girl thats blamed? also had my first love made me feel excited the way "doctor" does i wouldnt have felt like this.
also i never made the first moves with any of the guys i am involved with right now.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

OP

i am actually quite mature myself otherwise i wouldnt hav attracted a doctor! but i a mistakenly got myself involved into this love problem. why isnt anyone blaming the "freshers" guy for what happend? why is it always the girl thats blamed? also had my first love made me feel excited the way "doctor" does i wouldnt have felt like this.
also i never made the first moves with any of the guys i am involved with right now. i want to fullfill all my desires with this older man. can anyone give me any tips on sex with him? as hes obviously more experienced... i wanna impress him.

Reply 16

Anonymous #2

Slag or not, you sound utterly pathetic- the message you've put across is "I didn't mean for it to hapen, it just sort of happened, and now I can't get out of it". I mean, come on! That is so lame! Take some responsibility for your actions now at least, if only to clean up this mess as you should have taken responsibility for your own actions, doings and not-doings before. I can't believe you'd : a) treat someone who you've known and been friends with for years as well as be in a relationship with them, like that b) treat your other friend like that anyway, or anyone else for that matter! and c) be prepared to misguide this young successful man, bringing him down to your level! They don't deserve that. You're just out for what you can get with no regards for anyone else's feelings or anyone else's respect for themselves, whether or not you think you have self-respect for yourself by not being a slag in your eyes.

Reply 17

*starry_eyed_*

14

Anonymous

why isnt anyone blaming the "freshers" guy for what happend? why is it always the girl thats blamed? QUOTE]

lol why would he be to blame? you led him on, he thought you liked him. know when to stop!