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Girl Prob!

Another one! So if u can help with this one too.....and this one is a combination of two sorts of problems! hah

Right i liked a girl (call her A) and she turned me down, shes very flirty and such so i got mixed signals and went for it one time. She turned me down, so that was over. I put distance between myself and her understandably as well i wasnt exactly happy talkin to her straight after!

Well now ive moved on, theres another girl (girl B) i like in the year below of college. This is a problem in itself because i havent really spoken to her properly before, and before just doing anything stupid (and probably scaring her!) i want to get to know her. How do I approach her? im quite shy, she is too. We have no shared lessons, and she normally is with at least one friend. I saw her once but had no idea what to say so lost the only chance when shes been alone, its because we have no common purpose at the time walking opposite directions and such.

Well so i was fine with that problem well was working around it slowly. But now girl A starts asking why ive been avoiding her and arent as close n friendly as we used to be!?! Except she tried to ask once and i wasnt very good with my answers, so now it comes through mutual friends but so obviously going back to her. So if she cares so much does this mean she likes me? i dont like her now, i have moved on. But it complicates things somewhat. Fortunately girl A and B arent friends even though same year or would be messier.

So what do i do about girl A? Does it mean she likes me now or what? :confused:

And girl B how do i even start something? both being shy makes it harder, and no common timings etc. Not sure if randomly saying wanna go to cinema or something (with or without other mates) is such a good idea.

Cheers,

Reply 1

Zerforax

21

Girl A just wants the attention for an ego boost (is what usually girls do...)
Girl B, well you cant get to know her without being blunt since you have no other time together, bite the bullet, ask for a day out, nothing too serious and keep it simple and get to know her?

Reply 2

Angrybanana

11

There is nothing in what girl A said that implies she now 'likes' you as you put it. It's pretty clear that she misses your friendship as you're avoiding her now. And with Girl B I would just ask her to the cinema. Nothing ventured nothing gained. Somebody has to make the first move.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

so wont seem strangely random to just ask girl B? That was my fear, scaring before started wudnt be a good idea haha.

And girl A i know i shouldnt avoid but its hardly surprising, her let down was well not the softest so had no choice at the time!.

Thanks though.

Reply 4

SHAC attack!

Girl A is gone. Never give girls second chances if they turned you down once, thats a golden rule I'm afraid.

Girl B, just go and talk to her! If your so worried try to find out her interests so at least you have something to talk about and she will feel more comfortable talking with you.

Reply 5

wackysparkle

14

Girl A is being stupid! -- she just wants to have that weird flirty thing going on - and she thinks its a game -- just leave her be, she should know better than to play with someonez feelings

Girl B - hmm -- how about getting to know her through mutual friends? find a common friend between both of you - and find out whether you can somehow see both of them at the same time? - like have a party, and invite her as well as your friend , do the same with others, so that it ain't that obvious!

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

We have no mutual friends, well proper friends. The only link we did have before (and how i first said hi) was through girl A. But they arent friends so it wont be awkward cos of that.

And yes I wouldnt mind being friensd with sum1 who doesnt like me like i like them, but when your turned down by going and getting off with sum1 else at the same party when theyve made sure ur watching i dont particularly see the need to be friends with that person :smile:

I'll wing it on monday ive decided unless i find out sum1 else knows her n i ddnt realise! cheers all :biggrin:

Reply 7

sarahmo89

Yeh girl A is gone.

How do you know girl B? Have you just like seen her and thought 2Oh I fancy a bit of that" coz if that's the case then if you just ask her to go to the cinema or something then she might be quite taken aback at this randomer asking her out on a date before you've even spoke to her. Howver if you start talking and you're tlaking for ages then ask her our that wud be ok :smile:

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Ive seen her a lot and thought i liked her, weve spoken a few times albeit very briefly in passing. So im not a stranger to her, just never had hte ability to start a long convo with her as no similar timings and such.

Reply 9

Yoda

12

Ok, I'll start with girl A. She started off liking you, and you scared her off. Probably by respecting her, valuing her opinion, that sort of stuff. So you then decided if shes pissing you around, you'll leave her on her own. WELL DONE. That is exactly what you should have done, yet often people do the opposite. Anyway, after you buggered off she missed your company and stuff, so started liking you again. Tell her you're a busy man, something like that. DON'T say sorry. Whatever you do, not sorry.

Anyway, girl B. To approach a girl if you're too scared to just go over and say "hi", you just have to be observant. She's wearing something weird, "hey, whats all that about". Or staring at you (thats an easy one, you can find your own). Really, anything out of the ordinary (or even ordinary for me) you can pick up on and mention.

Reply 10

Liv_B

Girl A sounds like she misses your friendship. Girl B... I think you should ask her to lunch. It's less formal than dinner so if it goes tits up you can bail, but you can get to know her better than going to the cinema and you can decide if you actually like her or just think she's hot. Good luck!

Reply 11

Yoda

12

Liv_B

Girl A sounds like she misses your friendship. Girl B... I think you should ask her to lunch. It's less formal than dinner so if it goes tits up you can bail, but you can get to know her better than going to the cinema and you can decide if you actually like her or just think she's hot. Good luck!

Coffee. Dude says he has lessons so lunch sounds a little formal too. Just say "see you in costa" rather than "lets do coffee together". And costa for the hot chocolate + marshmellows. Thats great stuff.

And girl A isn't looking for friendship any more, she wants to date again. Girls are weird like that, you see them and they don't want to date, you don't see them and they love you.

Reply 12

Angrybanana

11

Yoda

To approach a girl if you're too scared to just go over and say "hi", you just have to be observant. She's wearing something weird, "hey, whats all that about". Or staring at you (thats an easy one, you can find your own). Really, anything out of the ordinary (or even ordinary for me) you can pick up on and mention.

Be careful though, cos if you point at an outfit she thinks looks great and say 'what's that all about?' she might think you're trying to take the piss out of her which won't go down too well :biggrin:

Reply 13

Yoda

12

Thats even better. Save you having to take the piss out of her later.
"Whats that top all about?" "Oh, its new, do you like it" And there you have a hundred different ways to suggest she takes it off. Oh, that one was too easy.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

Haha thank you Yoda! i was beginning to wonder if i was being harsh, but you see it as i saw it!!

And girl B costa sounds a good idea. Not sure on the clothing front but i can think of a few things! haha and it made me laugh :biggrin:

cheers!

Girl Prob!

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