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I fancy him but he doesn't feel the same way...

Basically this thread is to get things off my chest but any advice would be great :smile:

Me and this guy met last year. We got on so well, we became good friends and he walked with me to and fro lessons. People thought we were an item but we never were. He started to like me and he told his friends so his friends told me but I really didn't feel the same way so the message got back to him that I didn't fancy him. We then drifted apart slightly over the summer holidays.

When we came back to college, I started having feelings for him. A couple of months later, I eventually got one of his friends to find out discretely if he liked me and I found out he didn't feel the same anymore. He found out I liked him after one of my friends accidently blurted it out. The last thing I wanted was for our friendship to become awkward, it did to a small degree but now a few months down the line, it has become very awkward for me but I don't think it is as awkward for him. He's acting as if nothing has happened and I try to do the same too but I always keep thinking about him knowing that I like him.

What makes things worse is that he likes some other girl and I can't help but feel jealous when I see him talking to her. The girl he likes is such a nice girl so I really don't want to let this situation get in the way of my friendship with her. Apparently she doesn't feel the same way and I know this sounds nosey but I want to find out for sure. I know I will be upset if them two form a relationship so at least if I know it'll never happen, it'll console me a little bit...i know that sounds really mean but I do feel that way. Do you think I should ask her if she likes him in that way?

I have really tried to get over him but I can't. I've never spoken to him about this and I don't intend to because I'm way too shy when it comes to this sort of stuff. I kind of want to know why he doesn't fancy me anymore and everyone i know keeps telling me how us two really suit eachother. He's such a great guy and a guy like him is so hard to find these days :frown:

Reply 1

Dragon24

17

Its always the way guy like girl - she not interested, then girl changes mind - guy not interested! I don't agree with friends getting involved in asking people out as your guy could have thought it was a joke or the friend you asked may be jealous and didn't even ask at all! Sounds like you got nothing to worry about if the girl is not interested. Go direct to your guy and be honest, if you don't ask you don't get.

Reply 2

WhiteLily

Angel83

Its always the way guy like girl - she not interested, then girl changes mind - guy not interested! I don't agree with friends getting involved in asking people out as your guy could have thought it was a joke or the friend you asked may be jealous and didn't even ask at all! Sounds like you got nothing to worry about if the girl is not interested. Go direct to your guy and be honest, if you don't ask you don't get.

Yeah thats good advice^!Like angel said the person you asked to find out could of been jelous and just made this up,Maybe the guy slightly give up as he found out you didnt like him and tried to move on?You should really talk to him if you are really shy around him and cant face asking him to his face,maybe just text him or something?The sooner you find out for sure the better,Then at least if it isnt what you want to hear then you can move on..I hope this helps

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

I highly doubt the person who found out for me was jealous. He already has a girlfriend and is an honest person so he wouldn't do anything like that. There are some things I wish i could ask him but i am so shy and i don't want to make the situation even more awkward if he says that he doesn't fancy me.

Reply 4

WhiteLily

Anonymous

I highly doubt the person who found out for me was jealous. He already has a girlfriend and is an honest person so he wouldn't do anything like that. There are some things I wish i could ask him but i am so shy and i don't want to make the situation even more awkward if he says that he doesn't fancy me.

Hmmm,it could go the other way though and he could say that he does like you.You could always ask him if he wants to do something like go for a drink in a friendly way..and see how he is with you when your both alone?

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

hmm he doesn't really go out that often so he wouldn't go out for an informal drink like that and he'd probably think i'm asking him out on a date. I really doubt he likes me because I trust the person who asked him...
yes unrequited love is very depressing :frown:

Reply 6

amzable

6

Anonymous

yes unrequited love is very depressing :frown:

So true...i agree with the advice already given- if you don't ask, you don't get. I didn't ask, I didn't get, and now it is one of my biggest regrets. Good luck xx

Reply 7

L i b

19

Stop being so bloody timid and somebody might eventually fancy you.

Reply 8

Unique Brunette

Anonymous

hmm he doesn't really go out that often so he wouldn't go out for an informal drink like that and he'd probably think i'm asking him out on a date. I really doubt he likes me because I trust the person who asked him...
yes unrequited love is very depressing :frown:

start flirting with him? become closer , talk more and see how he reacts?
since he already knows that u like him maybe you'll me able to tell from his reactions?

and yeah love hurts :frown:

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Unique Brunette

start flirting with him? become closer , talk more and see how he reacts?
since he already knows that u like him maybe you'll me able to tell from his reactions?

and yeah love hurts :frown:

i guess i could but I don't want to make him uncomfortable. He knows I like him so i guess that if he liked me back, he would have approached me about it. He's probably trying to act like nothing happened so he doesn't hurt me but the thing is that I still like him! I'm also pretty sure he likes the girl i mentioned.

Reply 10

xxSAMMIxx

1

I have this problem to :frown:

i really like this boy but im not sure he likes me in the same way.
It really hurts :frown:

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

xxSAMMIxx

I have this problem to :frown:

i really like this boy but im not sure he likes me in the same way.
It really hurts :frown:

aww yes it does but you still have a chance to ask him how he feels if you are up for it.

Reply 12

xxSAMMIxx

1

Well how do i do that? Should i text him, call him, or face to face, and then what do i say, and then what if i made an idiot out of myself?? I dont want to hurt even more!

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

xxSAMMIxx

Well how do i do that? Should i text him, call him, or face to face, and then what do i say, and then what if i made an idiot out of myself?? I dont want to hurt even more!

well imo, face to face is the best way and i wish i could be like that but I know that i'll bottle out in the last minute. Yeah it is a tough decision to make.

In other news, close friends of the guy I like have confirmed that he's close to telling the girl he likes that he fancies her. I now officially have no chance with him *sigh* :frown:

Reply 14

shavenwookiee

6

Anonymous

well imo, face to face is the best way

Certainly is.

And some advise for yourself, just ask him for a drink. Honestly, its the kind of thing thats VERY easy to play down and you'll kick yourself if you dont try.

Hearing gossip from a mate is one thing. Being asked directly by the person in question is another.