Generally Disappointed

As the title reads, I am just generally disappointed with myself and the way my life seems to be going. While I am somewhat ambitious, I can never find the motivation to do anything, and it's starting to get me down. I always seem to say to myself, 'I'll do this, this and this tonight', I never get anything done and my to-do lists just get longer and longer. There are some tasks I have been meaning to do (i.e. organize the junk on my computer) for almost 6 months now! Whilst in my head I am not, an outside viewer could easily make the conclusion that it seems I am just content in being average. My GCSE and A-Level grades were average at best, despite me being capable of much more, and so far my Uni course is going just about ok, I go to a few lectures here and there, do a bit of work and scrape by, like always.

I am fed up of just living in a rut but I lack the motivation to do new things. I'm not a member of any societies, don't play any sports to a competetive level, and while I have a large group of friends, it seems all we do together is go out and get drunk.
The only positive thing I have done recently is quit smoking cold turkey (about 3 weeks ago), but I know I will smoke again. I used to use smoking as my crutch, and always said I would do loads of things when I quit (improve my awful diet, do sports etc.), but I never do, get depressed and start smoking again.

My confidence is quite low, and (while I would like this to change), I prefer to be the follower rather than the leader, as such, part of the reason I don't go to do new things is because there is no-one to go with.

I also haven't had a girlfriend in 2 years, and while I have liked lots of girls, I have never made a move because I have been too nervous for whatever reason. And I don't know why. I am quite good-looking, quite witty, and know it (sometimes to the point of arrogance), but for some reason I am always far too nervous to approach girls. I also haven't really found a proper place for sex in my life and as a result have had a lot of one-night stands (6 at the current count).

Another issue is religion. Whilst my family is quite religious, being quite Science-based, I have a real hard time with religion, and while I would like to know more about Christianity, I can't believe just for the sake of believing. Again, so far I have been unmotivated to do anything about this.

I realise this is quite long (congrats for making it this far, unless you cheated and skipped to the end!), so I would like to point out I am not depressed, more frustrated at my inability to do things.

What am I trying to do by posting this? To get it off my chest is one, but all general comments and such are more than welcomed (in fact, encouraged!)

Thanks.

Reply 1

naivesincerity

You're trying to find someone who can advise you out of your dissatisfaction and make you find happiness and love.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Happiness and love can come later, the advice I am looking for is more to just find a way to get going along that road - more specifically how to get things done, and not be crippled by thoughts of the worst possible scenario. Also just ways to stop doing nothing and actually go on and be more productive and ative.

Reply 3

naivesincerity

Maybe you're in an anxiety state, whereby you are making almost too much mental effort, thinking to hard and being to hard on yourself. That's my suspicion. Stop thinking so much and just try to make inroads into doing (maybe v. small) achievable goals, which'll make you feel better, rather than seeing tasks as all insurmountable........

Reply 4

ohyeahoh

I like to make lists and force myself to complete one item from it before I get a pleasure..e.g going out/food.

However you sound like your problem is more serious than just being a lazy b****

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Just posting this here has made me feel a lot better about the whole situation, I have been thinking about it a lot, and I do feel now I have some sort of an explanation as to why I feel like this.

The thing is, my whole family has all been very succesful throughout life, my parents are still happily married, my dad went to Cambridge, is now at a high position in a good company, while my mum went Durham and gave up her career to be a housewife. My uncle started his own company and is doing very well, while my other uncle is a lawyer. My sister also got 9 A* at GCSE, and while I know this is all a great start to life for me which others do not have, there is a high burden of expectation.

Despite my average school performance (no As or A*s at GCSE or A Level), I am (somehow!) at a good Uni (in the same bracket as Durham), but it has always been the way that no matter what I do, it has already been done, and in most cases done better, by someone in my family.

I think I just need to forge my own path and try not to worry about being viewed at by my family (mum in particular) as a disappointment or underachiever. Good Plan?

Reply 6

romeosbitch

very good plan.

The only person you can really compare yourself to is yourself.

My sister's very pretty to the point of model like features and so consequently I get jealous of her looks and wish I was pretty. But I'm the A grade pupil and she wishes she was clever.

Perhaps set yourself a target to just do one thing, like join a club, talk to a nice girl and then go from there. baby steps.

Reply 7

sarahmo89

Yes. When you start doing things just to live up to someone elses expectations they just lose respect for you wheras if you go out and do what you want to do even if your parents etc aren't happy they will think well at least he has guts.

I suggest you read a book called "7 habits of a successful teenager" (or something to that effect). I only read the start of it today and once you get past the first couple of pages what it says in it is actually really good! I know it says teenager - but it can be applied to everybody - I'd say especially maybe even more to people in uni.

But honestly get that book - it must have been fate that I spotted it and read some of it today then come on here and read your thread :P

It is the tiniest bit patronising but if you can get over that and take in the main points it will do you wonders! It made me feel so much better coz I've been feeling a bit low just now too =]

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