Anger issues.

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Straight Morocco
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#1
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#1
Do you find it easy to control your anger? I am quite emotional and I have a short temper, ever since a mini me, I've been in countless number of fights with my fists. I also enjoy intimidating people and watching them get shook. But I am quite tall, plus I am well built, so I take advantage of that, when someone angers me I lash out. First I screw my face up then I get verbal next I get violent.

But this is innate I find it very hard to control my anger, the only time I keep calm is when my mother is berating me, then I stay I shush. But otherwise I realised that I have no problem stepping to a guy that's twice as big as me.
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Ed's Balls
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#2
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#2
Oh no, another case of "he's got 'anger management'".
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TwinnyP
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#3
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#3
Watching them get shook :lol: :lol:
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Straight Morocco
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#4
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#4
(Original post by Ed's Balls)
Oh no, another case of "he's got 'anger management'".
Yeah well,You didn't answer the question, do you find it easy to control your anger?
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Ed's Balls
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#5
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#5
(Original post by Straight Morocco)
Yeah well,You didn't answer the question, do you find it easy to control your anger?
If things don't personally affect me, I don't care. Though I just find it ridiculous how "anger management" is used instead of "anger issues/lack of impulse control".
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Straight Morocco
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#6
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#6
(Original post by TwinnyP)
Watching them get shook :lol: :lol:
But do you find it easy to control your temper ?
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TwinnyP
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#7
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#7
(Original post by Straight Morocco)
But do you find it easy to control your temper ?
Apparently so, I've been told I have alot of patience and a good calm temperament. I would never feel they need to physically hurt somebody by lifting my hands.

I do tell alot of people to **** off though, but that's not anger.
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Straight Morocco
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#8
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#8
Does anyone on here have some anger apart from me?

Share your story.
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Straight Morocco
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#9
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#9
(Original post by TwinnyP)
Apparently so, I've been told I have alot of patience and a good calm temperament. I would never feel they need to physically hurt somebody by lifting my hands.

I do tell alot of people to **** off though, but that's not anger.
I am impatient, so I respect people that are really patient, it's something I could never attain or grasp. Yeah violence gets you nowhere. :/

I hate watching MMA or boxing.
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TwinnyP
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#10
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#10
(Original post by Straight Morocco)
I am impatient, so I respect people that are really patient, it's something I could never attain or grasp. Yeah violence gets you nowhere. :/

I hate watching MMA or boxing.
Why do you physically want to hurt people though? How does that relieve stress or anger?
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tailred
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#11
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#11
(Original post by Straight Morocco)
Do you find it easy to control your anger? I am quite emotional and I have a short temper, ever since a mini me, I've been in countless number of fights with my fists. I also enjoy intimidating people and watching them get shook. But I am quite tall, plus I am well built, so I take advantage of that, when someone angers me I lash out. First I screw my face up then I get verbal next I get violent.

But this is innate I find it very hard to control my anger, the only time I keep calm is when my mother is berating me, then I stay I shush. But otherwise I realised that I have no problem stepping to a guy that's twice as big as me.
You sound like you have anger management issues rather than anger issues. You also sound like you have issues with your personality or attitude, you come off as a prick basically.

I personally find that I have anger issues, and I am impatient as well. It runs in the family. I get pissed off really easily. However I have no issues in controlling my anger and impatience. I stay calm, and have a discussion about what is making me annoyed.

You sound like you need a clinical diagnoses. Your anger management issues may cause you a lot of harm in the future a.k.a you getting a criminal record, or hurting someone you love.
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Straight Morocco
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#12
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#12
(Original post by TwinnyP)
Why do you physically want to hurt people though? How does that relieve stress or anger?
I hate violence. I normally regret it afterwards.

It's when I feel threatened, like when a dog is backed against a wall his only option is to lash out. That's kind of my mentality. But some people would deal with it differently, but I normally attack fire with fire. Rather than extinguish the heat.
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Straight Morocco
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#13
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#13
(Original post by tailred)
You sound like you have anger management issues rather than anger issues. You also sound like you have issues with your personality or attitude, you come off as a prick basically.

I personally find that I have anger issues, and I am impatient as well. It runs in the family. I get pissed off really easily. However I have no issues in controlling my anger and impatience. I stay calm, and have a discussion about what is making me annoyed.

You sound like you need a clinical diagnoses. Your anger management issues may cause you a lot of harm in the future a.k.a you getting a criminal record, or hurting someone you love.
What technique do you use to control your temper?

Lol yeah I know "I am a prick". But I would never visit the doctor I heard it turns you into a legume/cucumber, it happened to my friend. I'd rather have a better alternative, than medications.

But you're right, I agree with what you're saying,
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TwinnyP
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#14
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#14
(Original post by Straight Morocco)
I hate violence. I normally regret it afterwards.

It's when I feel threatened, like when a dog is backed against a wall his only option is to lash out. That's kind of my mentality. But some people would deal with it differently, but I normally attack fire with fire. Rather than extinguish the heat.
Doesn't seem like the most sensible of approaches TBH.
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tailred
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#15
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#15
(Original post by Straight Morocco)
What technique do you use to control your temper?

Lol yeah I know "I am a prick". But I would never visit the doctor I heard it turns you into a legume/cucumber, it happened to my friend. I'd rather have a better alternative, than medications.

But you're right, I agree with what you're saying,
I don't use any technique to control my anger, i am just very active. I used to Thai box, (something I recommend) i work out nearly everyday of the week and cycle a lot. This helps to clear my mind and calm me down in general. I feel that if i am stuck in the house 24-7 ill punch doors in, even though I won't because I can manage my anger very well.

You should go see a specialist, you just need a diagnoses. You don't need to take drugs that they recommended to you.
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ab992502
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#16
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#16
I used to have a bad temper and had to be referred to counselling for it and I can control it so much now! When I start to feel angry,I count to 10 and then think about if I can change the situation or whether anything can be done about the situation to then evaluate the situation to calm myself down


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Taniyama-Shimura
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#17
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#17
I think i might need to avoid you at uni then :lolwut:

You may knock me out for no reason :sigh::hmpf:

A man came to the Prophet (may peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and asked him (Peace and blessings be upon him) for advice. He (Peace and blessings be upon him) said,

“Do not become angry.” The man repeated his request for advice, and each time, the Prophet replied with this one phrase that sums up all good attitudes and behavior: “Do not become angry.”*(Bukhari)

While you may not be able to avoid people’s anger and aggressive attitudes, you can surely deal with such situations in a wise and productive manner.

Anger can be like a fire. And you can’t possibly combat fire by another spark of fire, or pouring fuel onto it – this would result in a massive fire that would swallow everybody, including yourself. Whereas pouring water onto fire will curb it, if not end it entirely. Having a calm, tolerant temper can combat anger like water extinguishes fire.

Reacting calmly and tolerantly to an angry situation might first seem passive – but who cares! If you want to just add fuel to the fire, the situation will probably spiral out of control and end up in a fight of unpredictable magnitude.

I agree that being a calm, tolerant person does require a lot of self-discipline, which is normally “difficult”.

Here are some time-tested tips for averting anger:


1. You have to understand that anger is not a matter of power or ability.
“The strong man is not the one who can wrestle, but it is the one who can control himself when he is angry.”*(Bukhari)

2. Regard anger as an infection
Keep due distance from those ill-tempered people, regardless of the extent of their anger and the reason behind it. Don’t react in a manner that will signal hatred. Doing so will probably just exacerbate the anger and exasperate the situation.

3. Feel free to delay your reaction1
It won’t bruise your dignity nor tarnish your image. You can end your presence in this situation. Whether physically or if it’s a phone conversation, or a virtual presence with chatting, and react later when you’re mentally ready to deal positively with the situation.

4. Keep the interest of the Muslim community in mind.
”Do not be angry with each other and do not envy each other and do not turn away from each other, and be slaves of Allah, brothers. It is not halal for a Muslim to shun his brother for more than three nights.”*(Imam Malik’s Muwatta)1

5. React with a calming statement.
For example, “I understand how you feel, I know you must be angry, etc. Try and avert the angered person from thoughts that continue to anger them.

6. A few kind words can have a surprising effect.
Reverting the whole situation into a pleasant tone will help lessen tensions. On the other hand, harsh words trigger retaliation. Watch your words because they can set the tone for an entire situation.

7. Don’t become*that*person.
If you hate the attitude of the person who’s angry, know that reacting in a harsh manner will render you pretty much similar to him/her, so you’d better be careful.

Be strong and make your calm manner contain the situation. Be wise. Self-control is cornerstone to curbing people’s anger.

Remember that our beloved Prophet (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) never took revenge over a personal matter.

It is narrated that*“The Prophet never took revenge for his own sake, but if the laws of Allah were violated, he would take revenge for the sake of Allah.”

Remain wise and apply the virtue of patience, which is your key tool to avert aggressive and anger attitudes.

Remember, the relationships and attitudes you cultivate within your life will impact your productivity.

So remain positive and avoid negativity!
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Taniyama-Shimura
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#18
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#18
When someone is angry, mad, and reaches a state of having wrath against any person, he should make a special Du'a. In doing so he will cool down . It is reported that the Messenger of Allah said ( narrated by Sulaiman Ibn Sard and reported by Bukhari and Muslim ) that while Sulaiman was with the Prophet, two persons were blaming each other. The face of one became red and his jugular veins swelled. the Prophet said: I know a statement if he or she says it then the person with anger will cool down.
The person with anger should say : "I SEEK REFUGE IN ALLAH FROM SATAN THE OUTCAST."

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Straight Morocco
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#19
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#19
(Original post by Taniyama-Shimura)
When someone is angry, mad, and reaches a state of having wrath against any person, he should make a special Du'a. In doing so he will cool down . It is reported that the Messenger of Allah said ( narrated by Sulaiman Ibn Sard and reported by Bukhari and Muslim ) that while Sulaiman was with the Prophet, two persons were blaming each other. The face of one became red and his jugular veins swelled. the Prophet said. I know a statement if he or she say's it then the person with anger will cool down.
The person with anger should say : "I SEEK REFUGE IN ALLAH FROM SATAN THE OUTCAST."

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Lol, why are you preaching the deen to me?

You're not even Muslim.

And I am not angry 24/7, only when someone really really really irritates me, till the point where I lose my sense of reasoning.
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Taniyama-Shimura
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#20
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#20
The remedy for anger is that when a person who is angry should control his anger . In the Ahadith there are three way's shown to control ones Anger:

1). is to say Ta'awwuz
2). is to doWudu (Abulution ) or drink water.
3). is to lie down on the floor

So when a person becomes angry he should perform ablution. Then the person should lie down because when a person is lying he becomes humble because this is the quality of the earth due to it being low and not bursting. This is the opposite to fire which is the origin of shaytaan which results to pride. When a person is lying down he is far from revenge and retaliation then a person who is sitting is further then the one who is standing.
In reality anger is a spark of fire and its flames are always bursting. The cure is that you extinguish
The fire with water so that the evilness doesn't spread. i.e. by water it means to make wudu(Ablution).
The person who is angry should make wudu.then the person should recite the verses from the Holy Qur'ran which is (AYAH KURSI ) which is in the (3rd para, 2nd ruku). by reciting the Holy Qur'ran the person with anger it will cool him down because Anger is from shaytaan.
The person who is angry should be left alone to cool down and the above remedy should be practice's.The anger should go away.
In the state of anger one should use the above mentioned remedy so that he doesn't regret later.

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