Feeling A Bit Down

Hey guys. I was just wondering if anyone had any tips or advice on how to rebuild my self-confidence? I'm really fed up at the moment, and need to get out of this self-pitying mood because my poor friends shouldn't have to put up with me being miserable all the time, and me lashing out at them.

Thing is, the last few weeks have been a real confidence knocker for me. I got rejected by a guy I really liked, and made a complete fool of myself infront of him and got called a "paperbag shag" by one of my brother's friends. I've always been a bit unhappy with the way I look - I used to have really bad skin and thank god, it's so much better now and I only get the odd spot now and again, but I look around at all my beautiful friends and I'm just so jealous.

I've never had a serious boyfriend. Ever. And that's really starting to get me down. Sure, there have been guys that have liked me but I've never allowed myself to get close to anyone - just a fear of getting hurt I suppose. Because of this, I'm 18 and still a virgin and I'm starting to feel like a rare breed!!!!

I really just want to feel loved and wanted. That's all. Is it really too much to ask? But I know that if any guy is going to be interested in me, I need to start believing in myself a little more.

So does anyone have any ideas of things I can do to give my self-confidence a bit of a boost?

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Read the thread in this forum entitled "Have you had sex yet?" and you'll be pretty surprised by how many people in their late teens and early 20's are still virgins. Regarding the boy situation, the key is not to try so hard. You will feel more confident when you realise that you don't need boys and you aren't desperate (and that is something that wil definitely put them off!).

Focus on yourself for awhile. Give yourself a top to toe makeover if you can afford it. See a stylist about what would suit you best in terms of hair/make-up/clothes. And most importantly do this for yourself. If you know you're looking your best you will feel a hundred times better.

Don't treat every guy you meet as a potential boyfriend, get to know them on a friendship level first and the rest will follow. If not, you'll understand men that bit better and that can't be a bad thing. Good luck x

Reply 2

Fatb

look, basically feeling down getting yourself all riled up about yourself isnt helping. you cant changed your looks so dont worry about them. you will always find someone its just up to you if you take that chance. Sure there will be better looking people than you, its the case for everyone.
the best thing youc an do is accept who you are and stop feeling down about yourself, then look at the positives and take it from there

Reply 3

sib

it sounds really stupid, but it always works!!!

to lift your mood and help re-build your self confidence, buy a really nice pair of jeans/top/shoes/bra/make up, anything that makes you feel a million dollors then go out and smile! even if your not happy, just smile at people and you'll be suprised how many people will a) smile back and b) compliment you. this will help to boost your self-esteem tremendously!

you don't need a guy... but your right, before you even think about having a boyfriend you've got to be more comfortable with yourself. by reassuring yourself that you are beautiful means that the confidence is not artificial.

think NOW of three thing that you like about yourself: eyes/ smile/ bum/ legs/ boobs/ sense of humour/ hair/ generosity... the list goes on and you'll find that the things you like about yourself wil be the things that people say that they like about you too!

just try the smiling thing and i really hope that you begin to feel better about your self!!
much love
xSx

Reply 4

IzzyWizzy

You have to be more positive, it's really cliche but if you don't love yourself, no-one else will! 18 isn't that old at all to be a virgin, there's no point in losing your virginity for the sake of it and if you go looking for a boyfriend you probably won't find one or look like you're trying to hard. Just concentrate on your work and mates for now and the bf thing will happen eventually.

Reply 5

KaramelRose

Thank you so much guys - for some reason, I'm feeling better already!

Tonight at work (I work on a bar) I am going to make a real conscious effort to smile at everyone who I serve or see, and I'm positive that seeing them smile back will make me feel so much better.

Thank you!!

Reply 6

beach surf babe

It really makes my day when someone I don't know says good morning to me. You don't need much to cheer you up really, its the small things like people smiling at you, being polite etc that make me happy usually. I was in a shop yesterday and the assistant said 'have a good weekend'...you dont get that thing often from them (they always seem so bored but who can blame them eh?) but definately brightens your day :smile: