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How do I handle this without looking reallllly bad?

Realllllly don't want to fall out with anyone, but I'm very annoyed.

My housemate gets Disability allowance, for things like internet. Originally, she said share it equally or wahtever. But then nothing ever came of it. Now I've noticed she's been getting letters from her county council quite a bit, and guessed it would be refunds of internet, but have never said anything.

As she's away, I thought I'd go snoop in her room. AWFUL thing to have done, and means I can't tell my other housemate that infact, she has been claiming back £17 a month for internet, despite the fact we pay her £12 a month for it. (Costs £18, we pay £6 each!).

I'm really annoyed that she's making money off us. What can I do? Or should I really do nothing as the disability allowance isn't mine, and she should just make money where she can?

Reply 1

Little Girl Red

1

I think you should casually mention the allowance, maybe just say "Oh, did anything ever come of that disability internet allowance thing?" Hopefully she would feel bad about lying to you and tell you that it has come through, and then you can sort out money a bit under the pretence that she "forgot" or whatever.
On the other hand, she may well lie to your face, at which point I suggest that you talk to your other housemate and admit what you've done. Then you can decide what to do with the situation together.

Reply 2

she

16

Tell your housemate that she said she would share it with you and bring up how she hasn't been. Then ask her where it's going. Going in her room was ****ing terrible though.

Reply 3

bunthulhu

14

Perhaps say one of your friends knows someone who gets disability benefit of £17 a month for the internet and say that while you're happy to pay the extra £1, she should make sure she's getting her allowance. Smile, walk away, and don't give her your money any more :smile:

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Because she's been away, I can't bring it up asap or she'll just KNOW I've been in her room.... I know I shouldn't of done. I just wanted to prove my suspisions. I knew where she keeps her paperwork, so I didn't go through all her stuff... Still VERY wrong though. I feel guilty for that, but more annoyed currently! she's currently made.... Well, coming up for £72 out of us. That's quite a bit of money when I think about it. Not impressed at all....

Reply 5

Louise88

Going in her room was wrong but you know that and I guess I can understand why you did it. Imagine how you would have felt, had she done that to you. You know that what you did was wrong though so i'll leave that alone.

I'm not sure what the best way about this is going to be. It's going to be very difficult bringing the subject up without her thinking that maybe you have been in her room while she was away. Best thing to do is just to try and bring it up in a casual manner at some point in the near future but not too soon to make her wonder. Like someone said earlier on, it could go two ways. She could either tell you the truth or lie, hopefully she will feel that she should be honest with you. If she lies, it's up to you what you do then. Probably the best thing would be to speak to your housemates about the situation and tell them what you have done, then you can all decide on a plan of action.

Reply 6

shavenwookiee

6

Are you disabled?

If you werent living with someone disabled, would you be getting free internet?

Is £6 a month that important?

I'd just sum it up in your head before you ruin the feeling in the household.

Reply 7

bunthulhu

14

shavenwookiee

Are you disabled?

If you werent living with someone disabled, would you be getting free internet?

Is £6 a month that important?

I'd just sum it up in your head before you ruin the feeling in the household.

The feeling in the household is already worried with this girl essentially stealing off her housemates. Disabled or not, the girl does not need £17 a month for her internet, and to conceal this from her 'friends' and keep taking their money instead of doing the decent thing and using her allowance for its intended purpose, is pretty mean.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

The feelings already ruined. We don't get on, she just lives in a little bubble where she thinks everyone loves her and she can do no wrong! There is very little I can actually do to upset her, but I still can't just blurt out "I know you've been cheating us".

No, I wouldn't be getting it, but that's not the point. She should only be claiming back £6 a month, not £17. What annoys me, is that she's making PROFIT out of us. Not just saving herself money.

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

Couldn't you anonymously shop her to the local authority? Surely it's them that she's cheating out of £11 a month :p:

Reply 10

shavenwookiee

6

Anonymous

Couldn't you anonymously shop her to the local authority? Surely it's them that she's cheating out of £11 a month :p:

No, because if she lived on her own they'd have to pay out the same amount.

Reply 11

Mum

I think that she should be sharing it with you as she promised to do at the beginning. If she didn't want to share, she should have kept quiet in the first place.

As a matter of interest, what disability has she got that she gets her internet paid?

Reply 12

Yoda

12

Damn, she sounds hilarious. You would've paid that if she didn't have disability, so don't complain. Just congratulate her. Quality.

Reply 13

preciousillusions

Mum

I think that she should be sharing it with you as she promised to do at the beginning. If she didn't want to share, she should have kept quiet in the first place.

As a matter of interest, what disability has she got that she gets her internet paid?

Yeah, i was wondering that too. I am on DLA (disability living allowance) and i don't get my internet paid for! Are you sure it's not housing benefit she gets?

Reply 14

Anonymous #3

Sue her for fraudulance.

Reply 15

shavenwookiee

6

preciousillusions

Yeah, i was wondering that too. I am on DLA (disability living allowance) and i don't get my internet paid for! Are you sure it's not housing benefit she gets?

You need to have it listed in your needs assesment.

Reply 16

FadedJade

15

I still cant think of anything that would warrant free internet though! even on DSA.

Reply 17

matt@internet

12

Anonymous

She should only be claiming back £6 a month, not £17.

Isn't that fraud?

Reply 18

dementedbunny

11

Reply 19

Anonymous #1

OP

She had a growth in her ear a few years ago, when they removed it, they left her with 30% hearing in one ear (the other is perfect). She didn't know she was entitled to anything, but they told her she was and to make it look as bad as possible to get as much as possible. The internet is because they say if she goes to the library, she'll be distracted, because it's harder for her to concentrate.

She doesn't need it, but you may aswell get as much as you can out of the authorities... And fair enough. I'm not saying she should be paying anything towards the internet, but I don't think we should be paying her. Now, I know how to bring it up now, and talking to my other housemate, he doesn't think she'd lie to my face. What do I say next? When I know from her that it's internet refunds... Do I just say nothing, and leave her to think about what to do herself? She is really thick, and doesn't quite understand how to talk to people, leaving her with pretty much no friends..!

How do I handle this without looking reallllly bad?

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