So messed up

So basically i've been with my bf for a month and at the start he was all nice and texting lot and telling me he missed me... . in the past week he said that because of his last relationship which affected him badly as she cheated on him, he feels like he's confused and doesn't know whether he wants another relationship and wants to see how things go and continue to go out but is unsure about everything.
After seeing him last night i realised that i'm falling in love with him(have known him for a long time) and have been so depressed all weekend because i know he's going to dump me and tell me that he just wants to be friends because he seems to have it all planned out and doubt that he wants this relationship.
Meh.. i just don't know what to do.. please help me :frown:

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

OP

Anyone? i'm wanting to die here :frown:

Reply 2

h82think

14

if it were me I'd tell him how you feel. Your honesty may put his mind at ease.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

I have, we spoke earlier for ages and he said that he wanted to be honest with me and likes me but isn't sure he wants a relationship at the mo :frown:

Reply 4

h82think

14

If he is going to hurt your feelings just to save himself the bother of finding out what you could be together, then he is a coward. There is always an element of risk of getting hurt in a relationship!

Reply 5

shavenwookiee

6

Dont let your feelings run away from you. Personally I wouldnt hang around to see if I was good enough for someone... If they were having doubts, they wouldnt be having them for long!

If he isnt interested, just move on and find someone better! Easier said than done, yes, but you've always got to put yourself first in these kind of situations.

Reply 6

Profesh

20

Anonymous

Anyone? i'm wanting to die here :frown:

Tell him that you're falling in love with him: then, he'll know precisely what it is he'd be throwing away.

Unless he doesn't trust you enough to take you at your word; in which case, there's not a great deal you can do.

Reply 7

HereFishyFishy

13

Ok, well it's funny that this problem has cropped up after a month. However, this could be because he's just started to really feel for you and so is worried that you will hurt him.
You say you've already talked to him; so all you can really do is respect his wishes. If he is worth it (this is only for you to judge) why not give him some space to think about things? Be there for him, but don't put pressure on him and make sure he knows how you feel about him. Hopefully he will be able to work things out in your favour. Of course, this is a risk, and if you don't think you can take one it might be time to say goodbye.

Reply 8

shavenwookiee

6

Space is sometimes whats needed. I was with my girlfriend for 3 months, then got bored, left her and slept with 2 other girls. That made me realise I loved the original one and so I went back to her.

Heart warming story eh?

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Profesh

Tell him that you're falling in love with him: then, he'll know precisely what it is he'd be throwing away.

Unless he doesn't trust you enough to take you at your word; in which case, there's not a great deal you can do.

Wouldn't that drive him away? Don't guys like a challenge.. therefore if i don't contact him maybe he will want me again?

Reply 10

Profesh

20

Anonymous

Wouldn't that drive him away? Don't guys like a challenge.. therefore if i don't contact him maybe he will want me again?

Anonymous

in the past week he said that because of his last relationship which affected him badly as she cheated on him, he feels like he's confused and doesn't know whether he wants another relationship and wants to see how things go and continue to go out but is unsure about everything.

Don't guys 'like' commitment? Therefore; if you don't contact him, maybe he'll presume the worst?

He's your boyfriend, for ****'s sake. You decide.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

Profesh

Don't guys 'like' commitment? Therefore; if you don't contact him, maybe he'll presume the worst?

He's your boyfriend, for ****'s sake. You decide.

Thanks for your reply...the thing with him is that when i text him and call him he seems to really hate me and want to get away from me and then when i don't contact him he comes running back.. i'm just so worried that because of him telling me how he's unsure about wanting to be in a relationship he'll dump me really soon :frown:

Reply 12

Unregistered

End it- he obviously isn't ready. save yourself the hurt, you told him how you feel and now its his problem. believe me-it will hurt alot more down the line.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Louise1987

End it- he obviously isn't ready. save yourself the hurt, you told him how you feel and now its his problem. believe me-it will hurt alot more down the line.

Thanks for your reply.. all of my friends are telling me to dump him aswell but i'm just hoping that if i leave him alone, give him space and don't contact him he'll come back to me and want to stay with me.
I wish :rolleyes:

Reply 14

tetrahydrocannabinol.

10

shavenwookiee

Dont let your feelings run away from you. Personally I wouldnt hang around to see if I was good enough for someone... If they were having doubts, they wouldnt be having them for long!

If he isnt interested, just move on and find someone better! Easier said than done, yes, but you've always got to put yourself first in these kind of situations.

Agreed. Romantic as I am, your well-being and pride are very important too.

Reply 15

beth x

hes obviously not ready for another relationship-i say get out of the relationship before you fall for him anymore.

Reply 16

x_muso_x

3

just dump him... he's annoying...

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

OP

I don't want to dump him though incase he has a change of mind

Reply 18

Anonymous #1

OP

I guess he won't though

Reply 19

xxsarahjwxx

Don't dump him, talk to him. Tell him exactly how you're feeling and ASK him if needs so time/space. Let him know you are there for him. Don't just dump him, it will make things a whole lot harder for him as well.

So messed up

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