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Boyfriend being your best friend

I've heard people going on about how your boyfriend/girlfriend should be your best friend but i can't see that working. There are things i can say to my boyfriend that i couldn't say to my best friend and vice versa, i dunno where i'd be without either of them yet they are so different, if i argue with my best friend i can go talk to my boyfriend about it and again vice versa but if your boyfriend and best friend are the same person who do you talk to when you argue with one of them? If my boyfriend pisses me off the only person i would talk to about ut, cos she knows him and sees him alot and understands our relationship so is the only one of my friends who can really offer useful advice. I think this ties in with the 'having a life outside your relationship' idea, the time i donlt soend with my boyfriend i spend with my best friedn this may just eb coincidence cos i live with her, but we sare our hobbies and introduce each other to new things, if my boyfriend hadn't pissed me off she wouldn't have dragged me to dance class and i wouldn't have found out how much i love dancing. I wouldn't have anyone to hang out with when my boyfriend is working or having boys nights out.
How many people here realy believe that your boyfiredn should be your best friend too, i don't mean in a sense that you relaly care about them and can say anything to them cos i'm like that my my boyf but i wouldn't call him my best friend, but who can honestly say that your boyfriend IS your best friend?

Reply 1

pikaboo

If my boyfriend pisses me off, then I talk to him about it. Luckily he's mature and sensible enough to want to have a discussion about it and everything is fine in the end :smile:

that's what makes him such a great friend as well.
I don't go blabbing to my girlfriends about it...firstly it would make the problem seem out of proportion if I involve other people, and secondly its none of their business.

Reply 2

dita_parlo

My boyfriend is my best friend. I of course have all my girly friends who I can go to and hang out with, but Paul is my best friend in the sense that I see him more than anybody else, I have more fun with him than anybody else and I get on better with him than anybody else. If he annoys me, I tell him and we work it out.

Reply 3

Louise88

My boyfriend is my best friend. We have our other friends of course, friends that we enjoy spending time with and friends that we can speak to but we are best friends. I mean, if he pisses me off i'm not afraid to tell him and to talk it through with him, he feels the same way. We spend so much of our time together, we get on better with each other than we do with other people and we've never had any problems being a couple and being best friends. We don't fight an awful lot but when we do, we talk about it and sort it out, we don't feel the need to go to our other friends and bitch about each other. If we have a problem then we sort it out together. I'll be honest, I wouldn't want it any other way. I don't want a boyfriend I can't be best friends with....

I talk to my boyfriend about everything, he knows ten times more about me than any of my friends do and it will always be that way. I'll tell him much more than anyone else because I don't trust an awful lot of people and the people I do trust, I don't trust fully even though I consider them some of my closest friends. Nobody knows me the way that he does, and they never will therefore, he is my best friend. There is nothing that I wont speak to my boyfriend about, I don't need ten other best friends to have a conversation about something. I have him.

Reply 4

Schroedinger's Pandora

Ditto to what the others say.

Reply 5

bipersona

my boyfriend is my bestfriend. i have like all my girl mates and stuff but i can talk to my boyfriend about anything.. when we annoy each other, we tell each other and work it out.

Reply 6

PaperMoon

My boyfriend was my best friend, or at least a very close friend before we got together..so it has remained that way. When we have an argument I don't really tend to bitch about it with my girl-friends, kinda believe this sort of thing should be sorted within the relationship. I don't really understand how it's possible to be with someone for years, and for them not to be your best friend.

Reply 7

monkeymayhem

My boyfriend is my bestfriend. We are soul mates,I feel I could tell him practically anything and he has told me he does the same with me.

Ive had best mates in the past, but do not feel they hold the depth and intensity which can be found in a partner.

Of course different people are at different points in their relationships, so it differs accordingly. But I feel being 'best friends' with your partner is funamental to a healthy long-term r'ship. To me it seems wrong someone being able to tell a friend stuff/share experiences they cant tell or have with theyre partner.

Reply 8

high priestess fnord

ditto to pretty much what everyone else has said. yes i think my bf is my best friend, we live together, we have overlapping social groups, we enjoy almost all the same things so when we go out its usually together. that sounds really claustrophobic but it isnt somehow. i think we get away with it because we do have friends outside of the relationship and we kind of end up in different circles at the same party if you know what i mean.

we dont tend to fight either which is really odd because i know he has a really explosive temper and i have been known to throw plates before so im not the calmest of people. i guess we just offset each other in such a way that problems are solved before it gets to the omfg rage point.

Reply 9

xxsarahjwxx

Yep, same as everyone else. When i get annoyed with him, he can tell i am annoyed and asks me whats wrong before i even say anything. Then we sort it out and everythings fine. We talk to each other about everything and there is nothing he doesn't know about me. We do everything together and we never get tired of it. It's definitely the best way to be!

Reply 10

Louise88

PaperMoon

I don't really understand how it's possible to be with someone for years, and for them not to be your best friend.

I agree with you completely, I don't understand how you can be so close to someone for such a long period of time, be intimate with them (not just sexually of course...) and not be best friends with them...

Being best friends with your partner brings so much more into your relationship. Yes, having different friends is great but you should be able to talk to your partner about anything. To me, there is just something not right about being able to tell a friend something when you can't even tell your partner...

Reply 11

Jelkin

hippieglitter

i don't mean in a sense that you relaly care about them and can say anything to them cos i'm like that my my boyf

To be honest, it sounds like your boyfriend IS your best friend, anyway. You just separate him from your best girlfriend in your head. :smile:

Reply 12

shewantstobeme

me and my boyfriend were best friends before going out, and by that i mean he was closer to me than my best girl friends.

obviously the stuff i talk to my girl best friends about is worded differently... like periods... to a girl we'd talk about them as in from our own point of view, whereas i'd still tell my best guy mate i was on, just i'd be like "ooh pain" and he'd be more sympathetic in the way you would be if you had a migrane/headache.

and now we're going out (were best mates for 8 months beforehand, and didn't fancy each other until it was pointed out that we would make a good couple... it kind of grew on us and we took the transition between the two slowly). to be honest now we're bf and gf i wouldn't say my relationship intimacy-wise was any weaker or stronger than before, it's just the sexual bond that's growing.

and with the arguments... we don't really argue that much, but if we do we usually talk about it the next day, explaining why each other was so annoyed when we can both look back on it and not get annoyed with the thing we were arguing about again.

Reply 13

ciara

I don't require my boyfriend to be my best friend as such, but once the relationship gets to a certain point he almost inevitably is. That's cos to stay with someone long term I need to be able to tell them everything, and even with my best girl friends there's just stuff I don't tell them. I have a large group of friends and have never had one 'best friend', so if I do want to have a bit of a moan about men I can talk to a number of people who understand and help. I guess basically my boyfriend is like my really good female friends but with that sexual intimacy and vulnerability that makes it run that bit deeper.