Pessimism about relationships

you will never find anyone with that attitude. Stop being a pessimist. Simple.

Why do you think this? Is it because you think no girl will understand you/be attracted to you/have the same interests as you?
Whether you believe it or not, i think there is someone out there for everyone (more than one person too i think) and one day you will find someone you just click with. For the moment, be friends with girls you like and you may find yourself liking them a little more....

Appreciate your help and post. It's just I feel something profoundly missing. And it doesn't help that the time I was in love it happened that I clicked so perfectly with someone, that I felt I wanted her badly, and now no-one else compares

Appreciate your help and post. It's just I feel something profoundly missing. And it doesn't help that the time I was in love it happened that I clicked so perfectly with someone, that I felt I wanted her badly, and now no-one else compares

I disagree.

You're contradicting on advice given to people who so eagerly want love to happen ("A watched pot never boils").

Pessimisim isn't necessarily a bad thing. Personally I think the OP's lackluster outlook is somewhat realistic.

Oh incase you haven't guessed already, I'm having a bad day.

You have been hurt and had your heart broken so it's only natural to feel that no one else will be as good as them. However, i know from experience you're holding on to a memory/idea which probably isn't as true to life as you think (as in you have hyped her up in your mind) and as soon as someone else comes along that you click with, you will forget her and think "how stupid of me, that was a damn silly crush". Until then, try to forget her and start looking for things you like in other girls, get to know them and in time you will find someone. You never know what's waiting around the corner. Tomorrow you could bump into the girl of your dreams at the bus stop etc (i met my bf at the bus stop... )

but seriously, what girl would bother getting close to someone who radiates the attitude 'there is no point in getting close to me because i don't believe you will compare to the girl i had in the past'?!

It could happen at any time, any where. I used to be like you. I used to think no one would ever like me because i was too fat (i was anorexic), too quiet and too "deep" for anyone else. Then, i changed schools and went with a new open attitude and stopped looking for "mr right". I talked to people, whether i was attracted to them or not and after 1 day i met my boyfriend (i was attracted to him A LOT lol mmmmm....!). You have to open yourself up to people. Yes, this may mean you have to kiss a few frogs before you find you prince/ess but you will never know until you try. Stop expecting girls to be just how you imagine your perfect girlfriend to be and they will stop disappointing you. Look for features that you like (sense of humour etc) and talk to them.

Oh, I'm not some perfectionisty about looks at all. But there has to be something there. I actually feel ashamed that when I found something special, I couldnt contain my emotions and I ended up losing my cool, I guess being too keen, and hence scaring her off. What a dumb self-destructive act that was. The connection we began to have was so good, that if I had just played it smarter, It might be happening today......that's another thing i need to change I guess--I've never liked to play calculated/manipulative games, but unfortuantely where realtionships are concerned, playing at not giving a toss or whatever games with personal estimation you need to play probably works

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo never play games with relationships, thats the best way to muck things up. Just be honest. If you like someone, go for it, dont hang around because you'll leave it too late. So you have had a bad experience on that front. Don't let it haunt you. You don't know what would have happened either way with this other girl. Chances are, she would have been the same whenever you asked her. Get to know people and let things grow between you and when the time feels right then go for it. The best advice i can give you is do things when the time feels right. No games. Don't hide your feelings from a girl, otherwise she will think you don't like her and of she likes you, she won't try anything because she thinks you dont feel the same. Listen to your heart, stop letting your head tell you that you should be doing this or shouldnt be doing that. Dont play games with people's feelings.

How do you mean?