Bf had an argument with his mum and now wants to move in with me?!

First of all his mum sounds horrible. She has no right to use physical violence on him and you may want to recommend to your boyfriend that you file a complaint with the police - assault is a crime.

Personally my belief is that you should let him stay with you for a while. I'm sure he'd be grateful for a place to stay, whether it be sleeping on the sofa or simply some blankets on the floor.
While you haven't got any duty or obligation to help him out, I think it would be a nice thing to do considering that his involvement with you all the time may have contributed to this fallout (not saying it's your fault at all, I'm just pointing out he must like you a lot).
Obviously you could set up a few ground rules and ensure he helps clean, cook and keep the place tidy in return for letting him stay.

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Hard choice. Is he really committed to you and won't be using you as a waiting area until he gets back on his feet? You'll come across as a bitch if you say no but at the same time saying yes means you've automatically escalated your relationship and it may be to levels which you're both not ready for.

How long have you known him? If it's just 4 months, that's not nearly enough time to know someone well enough to know you'll get along with them if saw eachother day in, day out.

I'd like to think I'd help out a friend who needs a floor to sleep on after something like that, let alone a boyfriend/girlfriend.

I've put up my wife's brother & mother in our house for 3-4 months this summer because they were stuck between houses trying to move. It's been bloody awful even though we had space bedroom wise. If it was someone I actually liked spending time with, I'd be more open to doing it again lol.

Personally, I'd make it clear that you aren't comfortable with him "moving in", and make it clear that the relationship isn't at that stage. I'd say an easy way of doing this would be to let him sleep on the sofa or something similar. That makes a clear statement: It's temporary, and he's not "moving in with you", i.e. sleeping in your bed.

To turn him away when he's in need... well, I'd ask why you are in a relationship with him if you can't stand to loose a little bit of privacy/space and take a small inconvenience to pretty much save him from being homeless and an abusive situation.

Well, his family is Caribbean. So physical violence is pretty normal in that type of family, everyone gets slapped around as a child as part of their discipline technique. The fact that this happened at 25, when it hasn't happened in the last 8-9 years or so, is what's got to him. I don't mind him staying with me, but it's just that I do like my own space, and he's brought this on himself by threatening to leave him saying "I'll find somewhere else" knowing fully well his job lets him break even every month. And even now when I tell him to make amends, he refuses - pick your battles!



I have known him since I was about 13, we went to the same secondary school, hardly spoke, then 5 months ago he approached me on facebook again to say hi. I'm sure he is committed to me, I just hate the idea that he is calling bluff and playing this hand when he can't.



I suppose I can put him up for a while, yes. His job situation wont get better any time soon. My hope is that he makes up with his mum asap - because it's an issue. I wonder if he would have said these words before he met me, and knew he did have a back up place to stay. Things like this are going through my mind.

Overall, I don't like the situation, and I don't like the fact that the decision has been made without me (i.e. I have to say yes).