To the point.

Just in general

Is it bad idea to ask someone straight up what they think of you and them. Not a 'where is this going' but almost a 'are your feelings genuine? or is it just sex'

I've been half seeing a guy since just before xmas, but we're at different unis - close by though - have different friend's and are both busy. I really like him. Wether I like him enough to commit or not is something I don't know yet, so long as he does like me, i'm happy to just going with the flow.

But I sometimes get the feeling he only calls for sex. But then often he doesnt.. and its just a little odd, since sometimes i ask what he's doing one night and he won't reply, other times he's ultra quick. He's just a bit irregular in his ways. I'm not having a relationship, however casual, with someone that doesnt actually like me!!

But I dont wanna hang around if he just wants to get laid, i'd rather just get rid of him, so I was thinking of subtley just finding out - by asking - what he thinks of me?

Or is this just a bad idea?

His on offness puts me off, it thats his way and his feelings are geniune I can deal with that, but if thats him being a d**k i'd rather just get rid of him sooner rather than later!

So, is asking really a bad idea? Is it a bit scary and full on?

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Senario 1: A woman ask me if I only wanted sex which is exactly what I only want. I'll surely tell her my feelings are genuine and get more sex instead of being honest.

It makes no difference whether you ask directly or not if the guy is leading you on.

Reply 2

dh00001

16

if hes just using you you should chuck him soon as. so id say yes its worth asking. but on the other hand if he does realy like you and you ask if hes using you he will be quite offended. so be sublte but make sure you get an answer

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Senario 2: A woman I deeply love questions my motives. She clearly doesn't trust me. I should dump her and move on.

Reply 4

AnnieBell

OP

Anonymous

Senario 2: A woman I deeply love questions my motives. She clearly doesn't trust me. I should dump her and move on.

I would phrases is appropriatley! I am not questioning his motives, I am asking what his feelings are! therefore if he does deeply love me, he can tell me... but to be honest, if he said that... i'd run a mile!!

all I want to know, is how he percieves 'us' so to speak.

Reply 5

Yoda

12

Normally someone'll just like to keep banging you. Its pretty rare that someone will actually tell the truth in that situation if they don't really want a relationship. And if they like you or not, it would still be pretty annoying. And clingy.

Reply 6

ShinyApple

14

Yoda

Normally someone'll just like to keep banging you. Its pretty rare that someone will actually tell the truth in that situation if they don't really want a relationship. And if they like you or not, it would still be pretty annoying. And clingy.

Mainly ditto...
Also, Yoda, I like the fact that despite the warnings you continue your 'to the point' responses. Good on you.

To the point.

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