Moving in with Boyfriend?

Hi everyone,
I am 19 and my bf is 26. My bf and i are gonna share an apartment with 2 of his friends and their baby...Yes, my bf and I will be sharing a room together...I was wondering is this a good idea?

Reply 1

hippieglitter

19

Why not? If you feel ready for it and you feel your relationship can cope with it then go for it, but you haven't given us enough information to be able to know whether or not it will be a good idea.

Reply 2

IzzyWizzy

10

In my experience, couples sharing with other people is a total disaster. I had a terrible experience sharing with a couple and everyone I know who has lived with one has hated it. In my case, they ganged up on us (or tried to..) and seemed resentful that we hung out in the living room (next to their bedroom) which meant they couldn't really have sex while we were there, as if that was our fault! My friends who lived with couples had similar experiences. A male friend was made to feel like he wasn't allowed to talk to the female half of the couple cos the BF got jealous and a couple another mate lived with fought all the time which made it really awkward for everyone else.

I'd say if you want to live with your BF, try and get somewhere with just the 2 of you.

Reply 3

tetrahydrocannabinol.

10

AmiraDyana

Hi everyone,
I am 19 and my bf is 26. My bf and i are gonna share an apartment with 2 of his friends and their baby...Yes, my bf and I will be sharing a room together...I was wondering is this a good idea?

Well, a lot of people will probably be horrified by this, but my bf and I have been living together since the night we met. We're both in halls at uni and it just kind of happened. He slept over mine every night, and then we went to live at his for a month, then back to mine, and now we're back at his, and you know what? I love it! We're moving into our own flat in September and I can't wait. However, it might not work as well for others as it did for us. I think the reason it worked so well for us is because I am a total bloke, and spend all my time with blokes, because I've always done that, since playschool, so I have a lot of blokey habits (not to generalise fellas!) but I am a total scab. I'm untidy and so the problem of me nagging him to pick his socks up/put the loo seat down/clean the shower after using it isn't a problem. Oh, and I snore louder than him :s-smilie:

. So, if you don't mind any of these probs, then go for it! xxx

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Sleeping with your partner in the Halls? Someone jealous might report you, lol.

Reply 5

Leigh

15

No reason why it shouldn't work, as long as you both know what you're getting into.
The major potential problem is the other people not reacting well (as IzzyWizzy said) or you not getting on with them, but that's not really something you can find out until you move in.
Fingers crossed and best of luck!

Reply 6

FadedJade

15

at least they will be living with another couple Izzy, I've never lived a couple so I dont know if this affects your point at all.

OP< you really haven't given us enoughto go on here!

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Imagine how upset people are when you are having sex really loudly for the whole night non stop. In fact you have it recorded and just playing it back with looping and everyone thinks you have that much energy, lol!

Reply 8

IzzyWizzy

10

Do you have a single bed in halls Chloe? Don't you find it a bit claustrophobic?

Reply 9

Leigh

15

Anonymous

Sleeping with your partner in the Halls? Someone jealous might report you, lol.

A friend of mine at another uni lives with his girlfriend in halls.
It started with him just staying there every night, then gradually he moved more and more stuff there until he didn't have anything in his room.

Then her neighbour moved out, so for convenience, like when he has friends visit, he got transferred into that room. He moved the bed from there into her room so they have a double bed, his PC is set up in her room and everything. His room just has an empty chest of drawers and a blanket on the floor for when we go over.

No idea what the university would have to say about that.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

IzzyWizzy

Do you have a single bed in halls Chloe? Don't you find it a bit claustrophobic?

The floor...

Reply 11

AmiraDyana

OP

Well...We live about 1297 miles apart...so it will be a major move on my part... I am graduating in May from high school and I am planning on moving up there in June...and maybe going to college up there...even though I would love to go to college in England...

Reply 12

IzzyWizzy

10

The floor...

Why anonymous? Is it cos you make your partner sleep on the floor? :eek:

Reply 13

Jennybean

13

I think the crucial thing to consider here is the baby. How old is he/she? You might not be too pleased to discover that often babies make a lot of noise at night and a couple with their first infant will not be the most laid back of housemates. It'll be the most testing time for their relationship - frankly I'm quite surprised they're considering moving in with another couple! You'll all be laying yourselves open to all kinds of problems, from them getting jealous of the things you do that they can't anymore, to you getting annoyed at their lives revolving solely around the child, to them asking you to babysit when you have better/more important things to do, to you all getting annoyed with each other when you've had too little sleep. If you want to move in with your boyfriend I'd think carefully about whether it's a good idea to share a house with someone else. Would it not be possible just to move in as the two of you? Apart from this particular couple with their baby, there's the other problems people have mentioned in this thread, plus there is always the possibility you two will split up and I know that causes incredible problems in shared houses, with people feeling they have to take sides, awkwardness, who moves out etc etc.

Reply 14

Talya

16

AmiraDyana

Well...We live about 1297 miles apart...so it will be a major move on my part... I am graduating in May from high school and I am planning on moving up there in June...and maybe going to college up there...even though I would love to go to college in England...

Have you even stayed over a night with him? I think it's important you find out first if you can even stand him for this long!

My bf and have been on holiday together (so together 24hrs a day for a week) and managed that so we think we'll be OK living together.

Initially he wanted to share with another couple but I really didn't want to do this (unless they were really good friends), luckily we found a lovely flat.

Also, he is much older than you, are you both looking for the same things from a relationship? Do you both want it to last forever?

How long have you been together?

Reply 15

gracie88

14

I would say be cautious about moving in with another couple, especially with their first child. I live with a couple in my shared house at uni and it's not great. They tend to shut themselves in their room and if they argue everybody knows about it.

Reply 16

cmh

8

As for moving in with your bf, I am in a similar situation - should I, shouldn't I etc. though it would be into halls for a year then some place else.

I think you should go for it. The age gap a lot of people would find worrying but eff-it, if you 2 love eachother and if YOU think it will work for you 2 to live with so many other people around I think everything will work out. The baby is a huge issue though. Living with one is crazy haha, but I guess for the time being (for a year or so) this would be ok lol. Babies cry - A LOT! Make sure you don't get the bedroom near it. Prehaps after a while you and ur bf will find ur own place.

G'luck

Reply 17