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Am I going schizophrenic or something?
Ok basicly as mad as it sounds for the past few years for most days I have been sleeping from 4 am till like 3/4 pm. I quit uni with anxiety etc and have been trying for about a year to get into a normal sleeping pattern ie getting up at 8.00 am but Ive always slipped back into my old ways. Ive just been having weekend jobs on and off and getting up in the evenings and going to football the lads there say I have bags under my eyes and that I can just keep playing without sweating or going red etc but I just thought everyone has bags. My parents used to shout every night about how lazy I am and that im a zombie with no life which is true but now they ignore my weird sleeping pattern and think its good that I started back at football 6 months ago. Im acting like im disabled or something I don't know whats wrong but something is. Im at college 2 days a week and didn't go to a job I got I just dreaded it which everyone does on there first day but I just didn't go.
Anyway yesterday I promised myself for the 1000th time that I would get back into a proper sleeping routing whatever it takes so I woke up at 11 am today and didn't want to get out of bed, felt sick and scared and wanted to get up at 4pm like usual.. I read an article yesterday though about people who work nights and who sleep all day have double the risk of getting cancer so after 20 mins I just got up got dressed and was in like an anxious tense mood. I looked at my face and it wasn't right I literally look like someone who has been dragged out of a grave on an horror film my skin is just like grey and dead with cuts (though there just like spots from acne but it adds to the zombie image a lot) and I wonder why im not in a relationship at 20 lol.
It doesn't help that its dull outside and going to rain so maybe that makes it worse but I just started crying and thought I was going mad. Someone who's been dead for days would look better but I don't know what to do. Im much happier being awake in the night but im wondering if im over reacting I mean im only like a student really ie up all night so have any of you lot experienced this? I don't know how serious it is and don't believe I'l be able to get the sleeping pattern right even now.
Sorry this is long I just need some honest opinions. Thanks
Anyway yesterday I promised myself for the 1000th time that I would get back into a proper sleeping routing whatever it takes so I woke up at 11 am today and didn't want to get out of bed, felt sick and scared and wanted to get up at 4pm like usual.. I read an article yesterday though about people who work nights and who sleep all day have double the risk of getting cancer so after 20 mins I just got up got dressed and was in like an anxious tense mood. I looked at my face and it wasn't right I literally look like someone who has been dragged out of a grave on an horror film my skin is just like grey and dead with cuts (though there just like spots from acne but it adds to the zombie image a lot) and I wonder why im not in a relationship at 20 lol.
It doesn't help that its dull outside and going to rain so maybe that makes it worse but I just started crying and thought I was going mad. Someone who's been dead for days would look better but I don't know what to do. Im much happier being awake in the night but im wondering if im over reacting I mean im only like a student really ie up all night so have any of you lot experienced this? I don't know how serious it is and don't believe I'l be able to get the sleeping pattern right even now.
Sorry this is long I just need some honest opinions. Thanks
Reply 1
btw the the first thought that struck my mind was maybe im severly depressed but I love the evenings litening to music and playing football etc
Reply 2
I'll ignore the schizophrenic comment, that was silly.
There's nothing wrong, you just need to get motivated. Quit being a bum basically. Don't try to blame it on an illness.
There's nothing wrong, you just need to get motivated. Quit being a bum basically. Don't try to blame it on an illness.
Reply 3
You need to pray to your god or any god to give you strength to overcome this. You haven't got the power to do it yourself so you need to ask people to help and if your religion helps; it will make you feel so much better believe me.
My auntie is like this; stay up all night but she stills gets up at 12. You need strength that you wont pick up yourself; as we are too weak to do it ourselves. DONT KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. your self esteem is prob low so you need to build it up gradually and it will get better. personally god can help you get through these things, if your religious.
My auntie is like this; stay up all night but she stills gets up at 12. You need strength that you wont pick up yourself; as we are too weak to do it ourselves. DONT KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. your self esteem is prob low so you need to build it up gradually and it will get better. personally god can help you get through these things, if your religious.
Anonymous
btw the the first thought that struck my mind was maybe im severly depressed but I love the evenings litening to music and playing football etc
when people are depressed they normally have a higher point to their day, as in some feel better in the morning and get worse throughout the day, some people get better through the day - like you, you feel better in the evening. so the fact that you enjoy evenings definitely doesn't rule out depression.
Reply 5
Im not religious but cheers, whether its an illness or not its still my fault so im not trying to make an excuse, I look normal again now so the grey zombie look thing was probably the light lol.
Reply 6
laurah
when people are depressed they normally have a higher point to their day, as in some feel better in the morning and get worse throughout the day, some people get better through the day - like you, you feel better in the evening. so the fact that you enjoy evenings definitely doesn't rule out depression.
well I don't know much about depression I always thought myself that it was just a label for feeling down and being lazy but its a medical condition these days so it must be serious. I didn't know about that though, thanks.
Reply 7
Yeah, it does sound a lot like depression. Or maybe an underlying illness.
Think maybe your GP could help you, it sounds like something more physical ?
Dont worry - it aint your fault and most probably is NOT schizophrenia !!
Think maybe your GP could help you, it sounds like something more physical ?
Dont worry - it aint your fault and most probably is NOT schizophrenia !!
Reply 8
yea I just got scared at the time thinking I was mental lol, even if it is an underlying illness which I don't think then physically, however bad I feel, I could still get up in the mornings but I give up because the effort is not worth it because of situations like this morning for example, its the same with depressed people I think, we might be just weak mentally and give in too easily because getting up is possible it just never happens with me lol.
Reply 9
Hi OP.
Well, what can I say?
A few months ago I was a wreck, too. Just like you. I had just got AAA in my A-Levels, I was in university and should have been having a blast. But then I started having anxiety problems, something which I have never had before. I have never even had depression or anything like that.
Anyway, I had trouble from the outset of university, and ended up having a nervous breakdown caused by lack of sleep (I couldn't sleep no matter what I did), excess alcohol and general bad physical health. Plus I had drifted away from a good friend and thought I could just make new and better friends there, which is a complete myth. The day/night when everything culminated and I eventually lost it, I stayed up all night thinking I was a reject and all that, which was completely unfounded. I genuinely thought I was schizophrenic because of paranoia of social rejection and the fact that I couldn't sleep.
I spent a few weeks in hospital, and absolutely everything was up the wall- university, my general state mentally and physically and just about anything else. It was the lowest point of my life.
First of all, I changed my physical lifestyle. I ate properly, eradicated alcohol from my diet and got myself to a physical peak again, (I had a bad chest infection). Then, suprise, suprise, my friend came to visit me. Then I asked the university to defer my place. I sorted everything out financially, and six months on, I lead a healthy lifestyle and am looking forward to both finding a temporary job and going back to university in September.
The first bit of advice I can give to you is change your sleeping pattern. Prior to university, I used to sleep from 4am till about 10am and so on, but that isn't good enough. You have to have proper sociable hours where you're in touch with society and your family, otherwise you turn into a vampire. A mate of mine's brother IS schizophrenic and spends all day laughing to himself and sleeping, and it's sad to see but he sort of bought it on himself by excessive cannabis use.
Once you have stabilised your sleeping pattern, then get the motivation back. I am always out and about-library, friends' houses, even if I'm not working, which I want to do soon.
Have you considered going back to university in 2008?
Hopefully, everything I've said has an effect on you and you turn your life around. It happened to me, and from a very deep trough the future looks promising for me.
Regards.
Well, what can I say?
A few months ago I was a wreck, too. Just like you. I had just got AAA in my A-Levels, I was in university and should have been having a blast. But then I started having anxiety problems, something which I have never had before. I have never even had depression or anything like that.
Anyway, I had trouble from the outset of university, and ended up having a nervous breakdown caused by lack of sleep (I couldn't sleep no matter what I did), excess alcohol and general bad physical health. Plus I had drifted away from a good friend and thought I could just make new and better friends there, which is a complete myth. The day/night when everything culminated and I eventually lost it, I stayed up all night thinking I was a reject and all that, which was completely unfounded. I genuinely thought I was schizophrenic because of paranoia of social rejection and the fact that I couldn't sleep.
I spent a few weeks in hospital, and absolutely everything was up the wall- university, my general state mentally and physically and just about anything else. It was the lowest point of my life.
First of all, I changed my physical lifestyle. I ate properly, eradicated alcohol from my diet and got myself to a physical peak again, (I had a bad chest infection). Then, suprise, suprise, my friend came to visit me. Then I asked the university to defer my place. I sorted everything out financially, and six months on, I lead a healthy lifestyle and am looking forward to both finding a temporary job and going back to university in September.
The first bit of advice I can give to you is change your sleeping pattern. Prior to university, I used to sleep from 4am till about 10am and so on, but that isn't good enough. You have to have proper sociable hours where you're in touch with society and your family, otherwise you turn into a vampire. A mate of mine's brother IS schizophrenic and spends all day laughing to himself and sleeping, and it's sad to see but he sort of bought it on himself by excessive cannabis use.
Once you have stabilised your sleeping pattern, then get the motivation back. I am always out and about-library, friends' houses, even if I'm not working, which I want to do soon.
Have you considered going back to university in 2008?
Hopefully, everything I've said has an effect on you and you turn your life around. It happened to me, and from a very deep trough the future looks promising for me.
Regards.
Reply 10
Thanks for all the above, yea that sounds very similar but if you had to go to hospital you must have had it worse, thinking about it Ive been years like this and am worried that if I do get back to normal I will only drift into this again. Your right about the social network thing I only really have one real friend hes really quiet though and not one you can discuss problems with. Other than him my nan lives across the road lol I spend a lot of time there, thats it really. I really hate saying this as it sounds selfish but my life will probably be turned upside down again when she dies as shes 84 now.
Im glad you have sorted it all out it just shows that its possible even after it gets as bad as you had it so thanks for that. You'd think after getting 3 A's your confidence would increase but I suppose the other aspects of your life were letting you down. What times do you sleep?
Its hard to tell the difference between me and typical students who are up all night clubbing though I mean they are fine with a messed up sleeping pattern and stress so why can't I be. They are not afraid of work and scared of going to lectures.
Im glad you have sorted it all out it just shows that its possible even after it gets as bad as you had it so thanks for that. You'd think after getting 3 A's your confidence would increase but I suppose the other aspects of your life were letting you down. What times do you sleep?
Its hard to tell the difference between me and typical students who are up all night clubbing though I mean they are fine with a messed up sleeping pattern and stress so why can't I be. They are not afraid of work and scared of going to lectures.
Anonymous
well I don't know much about depression I always thought myself that it was just a label for feeling down and being lazy but its a medical condition these days so it must be serious. I didn't know about that though, thanks.
well if itwas just a label for being lazy then there wouldn't be much incidence of depression really would there, as the cure would be to stop being lazy and get active. but it's really not as simple as that!
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