Friend is driving me mad

I've been friends with this girl since we were 15ish, we're 19 this year and I don't see her very often but we talk online/by text everyday and class eachother as close/best friends but sometimes, I just think why?!

Sometimes I feel as if I have to be careful what I say to her because she's quite highly strung and I never know what is going to annoy her - this is hard when she asks my opinion or advice on something, I find myself saying what I think she will want to hear instead of my real opinion.

For example, she has been with her boyfriend for nearly two years but he is at uni nearly 100 miles away so they only see eachother at weekends etc. But she is constantly angry with him and if he doesn't do everything the way she thinks it should be done, she gets into a mood about it. It's their relationship and obviously that is just how she is, but I seem to be a bit more laidback about things and I just don't see what the big fuss is about half the time. Also, it's ALWAYS his fault, nothing is ever down to her - but obviously, I can't really say that to her.

It just gets on my nerves, why does she feel the need to be like this? It can't be nice for her or her boyfriend and I can't take her moaning about it anymore to be honest.

Reply 1

Schroedinger's Pandora

13

You shouldn't feel obliged to be friends with somebody out of habbit. I know exactly how you feel though, I let my "best friend" bully me throughout school, but as soon as we left and I cut her loose I felt as though I was, well, free. It sounds ridiculous, but I can totally relate to you.

Actually if I were you, I'd probably tell her exactly what I think, as hard as it may be. Yeah, she'll probably hit the roof and hate you for a while, but you really will feel ten times better.

I know it sounds sad, but are you scared of this girl? Are you scared that you'll have no friends if you fall out with her or lose the security of your friendship?

Sometimes friendships that make you unhappy just aren't worth the security they provide, and your friend sounds like a selfish idiot. I'm surprised you've held out this long!

Reply 2

hippieglitter

19

little_red_sox

You shouldn't feel obliged to be friends with somebody out of habbit. I know exactly how you feel though, I let my "best friend" bully me throughout school, but as soon as we left and I cut her loose I felt as though I was, well, free. It sounds ridiculous, but I can totally relate to you.

I'm the same, she didn't actually bully me but constantly put me down and told me i was a ****** if i had a different opinion to her and she still wondered why i was the only friend she had. I;m still trying to break away for her but its hard cos she is clinging on for dear life and is now dating my best friend.

Reply 3

Elements

13

hippieglitter

I'm the same, she didn't actually bully me but constantly put me down and told me i was a ****** if i had a different opinion to her and she still wondered why i was the only friend she had. I;m still trying to break away for her but its hard cos she is clinging on for dear life and is now dating my best friend.

Same here! Except she did bully me too and we were apparently supposed to be "best friends forever". Needless to say, it didn't work out. Not same though as I have broken away and I know it was the right thing to do, despite being alone now, and also she hangs around with my other friends, except now they're not really my friends anymore because she's turned them against me. :s:

Reply 4

Bubblebee

15

yeah sometimes I wonder why I bother too.

My 'best friend' seems to have ditched all her mates for her boyfriend and only ever seems to come to me to moan about how she thinks he is cheating on her (he is, I saw him, told her, she hated me for it) and now I find myself making excuses all the time about why I can't see her.

Just try to start cutting her out, find some better friendships.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Quite a lot of people in similar situations!

I wouldn't say I was scared of her, but I do try to avoid conflict - not because I am scared of it - I'm more than happy to argue my point if it's necessary - but because most arguments are a complete waste of time - I just try to be happy/positive.

I do agree that I am probably her friend out of habit though. I only have a couple of close friends who I keep in contact with mainly by MSN/Facebook/texting as I live quite far away from them all and out of them all, I speak to this girl most so we've gradually become closer.

Don't get me wrong, there are good times too... but I'm just starting to wonder if it's worth the hassle.

Thanks for the advice, I think I am going to try and spend some more time with my other friends. We're moving house soon, so I should be able to see them all more, so maybe spending time with other people will take the pressure off this friendship.

If it doesn't, I'll have to think about saying something... eek.

Friend is driving me mad

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