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Thought a guy was into me, turns out he's engaged and has a child.. watch

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    I've been going to a gym for a couple of months now. There is a guy there who's a personal trainer who I reckoned to be a couple of years older than myself (i'm 25). Every time I saw him he would be very smiley and say hi, which was nice. However, I'd noticed that he'd look at me for prolonged periods of time, and he'd sometimes turn around and look at me again, that sort of thing.
    I would see him looking at me out of the corner of my eye, and he didn't really make much conversation apart from asking how I was, saying bye etc. but he did look at me a lot.
    I wasn't really interested at first, as I liked someone else, but after a while I realised that he was cute, and I decided I'd pluck up the courage to talk to him.
    I had a look on his facebook first just to be sure he was single, and it turns out he's engaged to his long-term partner and has a five year-old daughter..
    I was quite shocked to say the least. To be honest, he seems to have toned it down slightly which is good, as I bet his fiancee wouldn't like to know he's been acting like that.
    Feels a little awkward now. Have you ever experienced this before? Should I just try and avoid him if I can? Thanks
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been going to a gym for a couple of months now. There is a guy there who's a personal trainer who I reckoned to be a couple of years older than myself (i'm 25). Every time I saw him he would be very smiley and say hi, which was nice. However, I'd noticed that he'd look at me for prolonged periods of time, and he'd sometimes turn around and look at me again, that sort of thing.
    I would see him looking at me out of the corner of my eye, and he didn't really make much conversation apart from asking how I was, saying bye etc. but he did look at me a lot.
    I wasn't really interested at first, as I liked someone else, but after a while I realised that he was cute, and I decided I'd pluck up the courage to talk to him.
    I had a look on his facebook first just to be sure he was single, and it turns out he's engaged to his long-term partner and has a five year-old daughter..
    I was quite shocked to say the least. To be honest, he seems to have toned it down slightly which is good, as I bet his fiancee wouldn't like to know he's been acting like that.
    Feels a little awkward now. Have you ever experienced this before? Should I just try and avoid him if I can? Thanks
    You're missing the point.

    He might be engaged and has a child AND be into you at the same time.

    It is NOT mutually exclusive!
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    lol yeah I realised after I wrote the post that it sounded a little badly-worded...
    yeah, I mean maybe he just thinks i'm 'fit' or whatever lol.. disappointed he's taken but it's better that I know now before we got to know each other, and so I can move on
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    Just try and avoid him now. He may still like you, but he has a family, and you don't want to be getting involved with someone who'd be willing to be unfaithful to who they are currently with.
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    Yeah you're absolutely right, it's an absolute no-go zone. It's funny because as I mentioned I didn't see him at all in that way first, but now I think he's really cute, but ah well, plenty more fish in the sea
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    it's inevitable i'm gonna bump into him as long as i'm a member of that gym, and I reckon the best is just to be polite and civil but nothing more, and not give any hint that I might be interested too...
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    Saw him there again today... he always gives me a huge grin, and again I saw him watching me as I walked up and down.. he even watched me as I walked into the toilet lol.. it's really uncomfortable because I really fancy him, but I'm definitely not going to talk to him. Just pretty awkward.. I guess there isn't much I can do about it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been going to a gym for a couple of months now. There is a guy there who's a personal trainer who I reckoned to be a couple of years older than myself (i'm 25). Every time I saw him he would be very smiley and say hi, which was nice. However, I'd noticed that he'd look at me for prolonged periods of time, and he'd sometimes turn around and look at me again, that sort of thing.
    I would see him looking at me out of the corner of my eye, and he didn't really make much conversation apart from asking how I was, saying bye etc. but he did look at me a lot.
    I wasn't really interested at first, as I liked someone else, but after a while I realised that he was cute, and I decided I'd pluck up the courage to talk to him.
    I had a look on his facebook first just to be sure he was single, and it turns out he's engaged to his long-term partner and has a five year-old daughter..
    I was quite shocked to say the least. To be honest, he seems to have toned it down slightly which is good, as I bet his fiancee wouldn't like to know he's been acting like that.
    Feels a little awkward now. Have you ever experienced this before? Should I just try and avoid him if I can? Thanks
    It's clearly part of his job. If he's with you atleast he isn't with some ugly bloke/women being their 'personal' trainer.
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    Maybe he was just being nice, as someone further up said, it's part of his job to be nice.
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    yeah, I totally agree with that part, nothing wrong with being smiley and friendly. The bit that I meant was that he was staring at me a lot, and I could see him from the corner of my eye looking up at me and turning round to look at me again when he walked out, that sort of stuff, as well as looking at me when I went into the toilet. Usually I'm rubbish at this sort of stuff, but I just get a feeling about it from him for some reason. But maybe i'm totally wrong, who knows lol
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been going to a gym for a couple of months now. There is a guy there who's a personal trainer who I reckoned to be a couple of years older than myself (i'm 25). Every time I saw him he would be very smiley and say hi, which was nice. However, I'd noticed that he'd look at me for prolonged periods of time, and he'd sometimes turn around and look at me again, that sort of thing.
    I would see him looking at me out of the corner of my eye, and he didn't really make much conversation apart from asking how I was, saying bye etc. but he did look at me a lot.
    I wasn't really interested at first, as I liked someone else, but after a while I realised that he was cute, and I decided I'd pluck up the courage to talk to him.
    I had a look on his facebook first just to be sure he was single, and it turns out he's engaged to his long-term partner and has a five year-old daughter..
    I was quite shocked to say the least. To be honest, he seems to have toned it down slightly which is good, as I bet his fiancee wouldn't like to know he's been acting like that.
    Feels a little awkward now. Have you ever experienced this before? Should I just try and avoid him if I can? Thanks
    He finds you attractive but never made a move or even flirted with you??

    I think you should tell his fiancé. What a monster!! Lol


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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Every time I saw him he would be very smiley and say hi, which was nice. However, I'd noticed that he'd look at me for prolonged periods of time, and he'd sometimes turn around and look at me again, that sort of thing.
    He... looked at you?

    OMG.

    I've just discovered hundreds or thousands of women have been into me, and I never knew. :cry: All those wasted opportunities.
    • #2
    #2

    Let me know what gym you go to. I'll do everything that guy does which attracted you to him and you can look at me to your heart's content - even pluck up the courage to ask me out - I won't mind.

    AND most important of all........... I'm not married or engaged. I don't even have a girlfriend and no child either
    It's a win-win situation.



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    Don't get why girls get flattered by guys paying attention to them, they do it to EVERYONE. They all perv and flirt with whatever is about, I go to the gym and notice guys pogging at girls all the time.
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    He hasn't moved to you. He's just looking, its no big deal. On to the next one...
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    He's just looking which is fine, but consider what kind of person he might be if he really is ogling girls whilst he's committed to someone else. Either that he's just doing his job and being the smiley friendly personal trainer. Maybe he sees you looking when you think you're being subtle and is just responding?

    I think you should take up Anonymous #2 on his offer, LOL! Go after guys who are actually available, not chase the ones who are not because it's exciting, he loves you not her etc etc.
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    It's his job to say hello and smile at you. I'm a PT and in the gym I'll watch people every so often to check their form or see if they need any help. It's not because I want to get it on with them. Regardless, him occasionally eyeing you up just means he thinks you're attractive, he's never flirted with you or made any kind of move whatsoever, so it's not really a big deal.
 
 
 
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