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How would you react if you found out your boyfriend had been in prison? watch

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    I'm 25 and my gf is 19 - we are both at the same college but in the different years and different courses. We've been going out nearly 4 months now and things have gone well.

    I am meeting her family for the first time next week - we are both away from home - so things are getting more serious now and she wants to meet mine.

    The thing is I haven't told her that I've been in prison - well Young Offenders - for GBH but that was 6 years ago and I am a different person now. This has been a problem for me in the past with girls when I've told them. I know that if she meets my family and mates it could easy come up so I think I need to tell her.

    I know that her Dad is a police officer so I am sure he wouldn't be happy to find out that his daughter is going out with someone with a criminal record but I don't really care about what he thinks - more about what she thinks.

    I got arrested over the Summer for drunk and disorderly and paid a fine for that and she knows about that but not about my past.

    Just want any advice you have for me and really how you would react if you were told that your boyfriend had been in prison?
    • #1
    #1

    My advice is to be honest and tell her as soon as possible. She may break up with you, but sooner you know now that it can't be. If she really cares for you, it's probable that she won't split with you - as long as you show you've learnt from it and that it won't ever happen together. I can say this, since my bf has been in prison also, and it was very worrying for me of course, since I never imagined I'd date someone who'd been in jail. In the end though, my feelings for him were great enough to overlook that, so maybe hers will be too.

    Just don't keep this secret too long, she WILL find out, and if you never mentioned it, she'd have every right to be very upset.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My advice is to be honest and tell her as soon as possible. She may break up with you, but sooner you know now that it can't be. If she really cares for you, it's probable that she won't split with you - as long as you show you've learnt from it and that it won't ever happen together. I can say this, since my bf has been in prison also, and it was very worrying for me of course, since I never imagined I'd date someone who'd been in jail. In the end though, my feelings for him were great enough to overlook that, so maybe hers will be too.

    Just don't keep this secret too long, she WILL find out, and if you never mentioned it, she'd have every right to be very upset.
    Thanks, hope it's the same for me. I have thought about telling her before but it's hard as things have been going so well. I was planning on telling her tomorrow so hopefully we can put off the visit to her family while she gets used to it.

    Did your bf tell you straight away or how long after you were seeing each other? Were you surprised when he told you?
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    lmfao thats bare funny. I think you should tell her before you meet her cop parents.
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    It depends on what you were in prison for.....pretty sure women would be more concerned if their boyfriend was in prison for murder than if they were in prison for selling weed or something petty like that.
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    (Original post by driftawaay)
    It depends on what you were in prison for.....pretty sure women would be more concerned if their boyfriend was in prison for murder than if they were in prison for selling weed or something petty like that.
    GBH is an indictable offence, so there are reasons for concern.
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    (Original post by 0123456543210)
    GBH is an indictable offence, so there are reasons for concern.
    wait, I just looked up what that means, jesus christ....

    um....yeah...
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    It honestly depends on the guy. If he seemed shifty about it and didn't want to talk about it if it came up, then I wouldn't like it.

    I dated a guy who told me he'd been in jail overnight once for fighting a guy who was being aggressive to his girlfriend. I didn't really care because he was open about it (and also in the circumstances he described, he was defending the girl). If it had been a bar fight or something, I think I would have been a bit more like hmmmm.... I just wouldn't want to date someone who I couldn't be sure that they wouldn't get in trouble with the police again/regularly. That would be a huge no no.
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    (Original post by 0123456543210)
    GBH is an indictable offence, so there are reasons for concern.
    That's what I'm afraid of - when people hear GBH they think you are a violent chav.

    I've not done anything violent since then and really regret what I did back then.
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    I'd be very concerned, and put off in all honesty but that doesn't mean I'd end the relationship immediately. If I was told early on I'd hear the person out. And it depends on the offence, how old you were when you did it, if you seem sorry and trusthworthy now etc. I'd be very likely to end it if I were told by someone else and not that person themself.
    • #2
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    i'm sorry for being rude OP, but i gotta be honest, i would react very negatively. i'd be worried that my boyfriend would abuse/harm me. not saying you would personally, and i believe you when you say i've changed, but there's always that chance.

    tell her. i can't say how she reacts but prepare for the worst and remember her feelings are always allowed.
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    Be honest m8. Honesty is the best police-y :yy:
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    Be honest about it. If you really have changed she will be able to see that and if she doesn't give you a second chance that is a reflection on her, not you. Obviously if someone told me that I'd be concerned, but as long as the told me the complete truth I wouldn't break things off because 'every saint has a past and every sinner has a future' and all that jazz. Of course it would also depend on the circumstances- if it was just an unprovoked attack of mindless violence it would be over.

    If you ever did anything like that again, however, you'd be dumped.
 
 
 
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