blackout and sex, was I raped?

too start I am happy with my boyfriend and we have been together for roughly over a year.

long story short, I was out drinking with my friend and bumped into 2 boys we knew and ended up drinking with them. That's from what I've been told anyway. from the whole night I only remember 3 bits.

I remember being at the pub briefly and at my friends, these 2 boys were asking me for a 3 sum and I would say no. my friend said that I didn't seem that drunk at all. was walking, talking etc everything was normal.

The next only bit I remember is going to walk home with these 2 boys and one of them physically picking me up and taking me too his after that I blanked again.

They then put on snap chat that night that we all had a 3 sum. I am not that type of person at all, never have been. my mum said I looked pissed/happy when I came in but it didn't look like I had sex and I also text my friend saying I just got home from the boys house where if anything happened I would of told her instantly. In the morning it didn't feel like I had sex and(don't want too sound excrete) but I couldn't smell anything and nothing felt odd.

I was saying no too them at my friends and I'm pretty sure when I was at his, his parents would hear me saying 'no, get off' I'm sure they would come and see. something like this happened too me before (wasn't drunk just got forced to do things) so surely that would also make me say no even more? right?

I've been checked etc and everything is all clear, the police are also involved now. my boyfriend confronted them both and they both denied it too him (they admitted they made it up) but it's just a easy way out because they don't want too get done for rape or get ****. Some of my boyfriends friends have gone back to him and said that they are saying it's true so I'm really confused. what's everyone opinion on this? just want people too be honest. I can handle it.

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Reply 1

localblackguy

Well I'm no expert, but my mind is split here. Either:

1) They're making it up to seem cool for all the lads - obviously has backfired now though.

2) Normally if you were raped while conscious, you wouldn't question if you were raped or not. It's a traumatic experience, so if you have to ask yourself whether it was or not then that says more than enough.. (i.e. you didn't get raped, just drunken sex)

3) That being said, if you think they had sex with you while you were passed out then by default, it's rape since you couldn't physically consent. It is possible that you drunkenly consented to it while on the verge of passing out and since you never withdrew consent, they just went with it, but that's a legal grey area (in this case though, it arguably is still sexual assault if you did pass out midway).

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Thanks for the reply guy. I know I would not of consented too it, I can remember saying no too them at one point when they asked.

of course I would of given in eventually but I'm just worried too how drunk I actually was and did I In fact pass out up his house but i walked home (apparently) surely I would of been stumbling over my house when I got home and was still able too use my phone.

I drank a lot at the start of the night, a lot. But I was fine all night (apparently, again) just seemed a bit pissed nothing overly bad, no sick, no passing out so what are the odds of me getting their passing out them doing that, me waking up walking home? my biggest fear is reading everyone else's stories online and it makes me worry.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Anyone else's opinion?

Reply 4

guilbert

From what you say I suspect they were making it up and nothing actually happened. I think it was completely appropriate to make a complaint to the police though, at the least it might make them think about their behaviour in the future. Might also be worth seeing your GP if you are concerned.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

The police are getting back too me this week, I just want too know for definite what happened. is there anyway too find out now? its been a while.

I'm just worried because they are saying too some people how it is true and what happened etc. Would someone actually make it up? I know it isn't true but every now and then I debate it....

Reply 6

guilbert

Without knowing anything about any of the people involved it's hard to guess what happened but you from what you say:
- It didn't feel like you'd had sex.
- His parents were around.
- You didn't say anything to your friend or mum

It really doesn't sound like they did have sex with you. I think the only way to really find out would have been to be examined for forensic evidence shortly afterwards but it's probably too late for that now (unless you were..?). I think it's much more likely they got you go to back to their house while you were all drunk then thought it would be "funny" to claim you were having a threesome.

Anyway, if you're worrying about it make sure you get whatever help you need. Do you have friends / family you can talk to about it? Have you been to see your GP?

Best of luck!

Reply 7

SmashConcept

Original post by localblackguy

It is possible that you drunkenly consented to it while on the verge of passing out and since you never withdrew consent, they just went with it, but that's a legal grey area (in this case though, it arguably is still sexual assault if you did pass out midway).

That's not a legal grey area at all, it's rape.

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

Did you check to see if there was anything in your system to see if your drink had been spiked?

Reply 9

callum_law

Original post by localblackguy

in this case though, it arguably is still sexual assault if you did pass out midway.

The degree of consent does not change it from rape to sexual assault. Those two things are distinguished by the type of contact.

Reply 10

TheThiefOfBagdad

Sounds like they're making it up, but it also sounds like...

Original post by Anonymous

something like this happened too me before (wasn't drunk just got forced to do things)

...you have previously been raped. I am truly sorry to hear that.

Reply 11

mrno1324

I too think you're just bored and making all this up.

Reply 12

DiddyDec01

Are you actually concerned about it?

Reply 13

username1533709

I doubt the police will take action.Therr seems to be no solid evidence,just accusations.

Reply 14

Dazzzzzla

Original post by Anonymous

Firstly, sort out your grammar and learn how to write a coherent, and concise story. It was painful to read.

Secondly, this sounds like a ridiculous story. If you are not in control of yourself when you are drinking - I suggest you have a celibacy for alcohol.

Lastly, I cannot stand when people drink to the point where they are paralytic. Additionally to that opinion, you will have some recollection if something happened with somebody - even if you are 'BLANKED' out?