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Bf watches porn even though I sent nudes watch

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    So this might sound stupid but I just want other peoples opinion.
    Im 17 my bf is 18, almost 19 and we've been together for almost 2 years. We live very close to each other so see each other basically everyday and we have sex almost everyday we're together.
    Now I understand men are different to girls and they need to masterbate sometimes so whenever he asks I send him nudes, this is often I totally trust him so I don't need to be told it's a bad idea. Anyway in the past we've had the porn talk and I said it would make me uncomfortable if he used it and he said he hasn't watched it in years he doesn't like it he prefers pictures and he would only like to use mine since we're together.
    I've become aware that's all lies he uses porn he often says he's going to bed then stays up to..you know. I don't like it to begin with but it makes it worse he lied.
    So is it normal to be upset or am I unreasonable? It makes me feel insecure he has my nudes but chooses other women? We spoke about it at first he denied to then I said go on your history and there was no getting out of it but he didn't talk about it he just changed the subject and lAter asked "are you sending nudes tonight"
    Am I in the wrong?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So this might sound stupid but I just want other peoples opinion.
    Im 17 my bf is 18, almost 19 and we've been together for almost 2 years. We live very close to each other so see each other basically everyday and we have sex almost everyday we're together.
    Now I understand men are different to girls and they need to masterbate sometimes so whenever he asks I send him nudes, this is often I totally trust him so I don't need to be told it's a bad idea. Anyway in the past we've had the porn talk and I said it would make me uncomfortable if he used it and he said he hasn't watched it in years he doesn't like it he prefers pictures and he would only like to use mine since we're together.
    I've become aware that's all lies he uses porn he often says he's going to bed then stays up to..you know. I don't like it to begin with but it makes it worse he lied.
    So is it normal to be upset or am I unreasonable? It makes me feel insecure he has my nudes but chooses other women? We spoke about it at first he denied to then I said go on your history and there was no getting out of it but he didn't talk about it he just changed the subject and lAter asked "are you sending nudes tonight"
    Am I in the wrong?
    Heyy, one advice you're young, i highly suggest you think before sending further nudes because even though you think you guys are going to last forever and he's perfect for you, that might haunt you in the future because once you send those pictures, they're gone.
    Honestly do whatever you like but i just don't want you to have to worry about that, knowing some guys he may not be the only one seeing them in the future if you aren't together.

    - Secondly you deserve someone who respects you, don't sell yourself short, if a guy is watching porn and it makes you uncomfortable tell him straight. Porn is actually an addiction for many people and they can't stop because sometimes that's the only way etc Reality, real women don't do it for them anymore if you get me.

    - If you are sexually active and he still wants to see porn, i think he is addicted to it, it's a personal issue he has, nothing to do with you.

    - Also we are made to believe that guys need sex more than us when actually they don't need it anymore than women, it's a matter of self control and women do the same everywhere it's just more taboo to talk about.

    - Finally yes you have every right to feel insecure because that's your personal morals and values within a relationship and you can decide what is wrong for you. Make this clear to him. Also, him asking you for nudes at night shouldn't make you confident either because you're in a relationship for more than just sexual pleasure, it's not fair.
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    (Original post by Ghaniza)
    Heyy, one advice you're young, i highly suggest you think before sending further nudes because even though you think you guys are going to last forever and he's perfect for you, that might haunt you in the future because once you send those pictures, they're gone.
    Honestly do whatever you like but i just don't want you to have to worry about that, knowing some guys he may not be the only one seeing them in the future if you aren't together.

    - Secondly you deserve someone who respects you, don't sell yourself short, if a guy is watching porn and it makes you uncomfortable tell him straight. Porn is actually an addiction for many people and they can't stop because sometimes that's the only way etc Reality, real women don't do it for them anymore if you get me.

    - If you are sexually active and he still wants to see porn, i think he is addicted to it, it's a personal issue he has, nothing to do with you.

    - Also we are made to believe that guys need sex more than us when actually they don't need it anymore than women, it's a matter of self control and women do the same everywhere it's just more taboo to talk about.

    - Finally yes you have every right to feel insecure because that's your personal morals and values within a relationship and you can decide what is wrong for you. Make this clear to him. Also, him asking you for nudes at night shouldn't make you confident either because you're in a relationship for more than just sexual pleasure, it's not fair.
    Good Advice here^
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    Don't see why you need to keep sending him new nudes all the time when he has all your other ones

    I know you said you trust him but there's a chance this relationship will end one day and it could end badly. Do you have enough trust in him to delete all those nudes you sent to him and not misuse them? I'd stop sending them if I were you.

    Not sure what to advise on the porn thing since I've never watched it. I thought most guys watch porn and it has no indication on how much he finds you attractive. But maybe others can shed light on that.
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    (Original post by Ghaniza)
    Heyy, one advice you're young, i highly suggest you think before sending further nudes because even though you think you guys are going to last forever and he's perfect for you, that might haunt you in the future because once you send those pictures, they're gone.
    Honestly do whatever you like but i just don't want you to have to worry about that, knowing some guys he may not be the only one seeing them in the future if you aren't together.

    - Secondly you deserve someone who respects you, don't sell yourself short, if a guy is watching porn and it makes you uncomfortable tell him straight. Porn is actually an addiction for many people and they can't stop because sometimes that's the only way etc Reality, real women don't do it for them anymore if you get me.

    - If you are sexually active and he still wants to see porn, i think he is addicted to it, it's a personal issue he has, nothing to do with you.

    - Also we are made to believe that guys need sex more than us when actually they don't need it anymore than women, it's a matter of self control and women do the same everywhere it's just more taboo to talk about.

    - Finally yes you have every right to feel insecure because that's your personal morals and values within a relationship and you can decide what is wrong for you. Make this clear to him. Also, him asking you for nudes at night shouldn't make you confident either because you're in a relationship for more than just sexual pleasure, it's not fair.
    I'm inclined to disagree. You're right about the sending nudes part, never send nudes, people break up, people get mad.

    However porn is just porn. Unless you're going to see him and you have to break down the door and he tries to keep you out whilst furiously whacking it with one hand I tihnk we can all be a bit more mature about it.

    People watch porn.

    If it isn't affecting your sex life or the way he treats you I wouldn't worry too much. Talk to him about it, but for most people it's just variety. I'm sure he's very much attracted to you, but it's just a shake up of his sexual routine.

    I wouldn't demonise somebody just because they like to watch some (presumably vanilla) people getting at it to quell sexual urges.

    I will say however that he sounds very immature and I wouldn't carry on sending him nudes, you never know if you'll break up.
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    Every man who has access t o it in the world watches porn. It's just one of those things, like tea or food.

    It literally means nothing and there's no need to be upset. Watch some yourself, he won't mind.
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    Don't try to compete with porn actors, porn is fantasy, you are reality.

    And don't send any more nudes, as others have already said, relationships however strong and permanent can end badly or your bf can get careless and they end up in other peoples' possession and misused.

    Imagine if your family, friends or even future employers find out about them.
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    (Original post by RainbowKiwi)
    Don't see why you need to keep sending him new nudes all the time when he has all your other ones
    Because beating one out to the same static image would get stale. Pictures in general are stale in comparison let alone the same one every time.


    There is where your male persona falters
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    (Original post by Historicity)
    I'm inclined to disagree. You're right about the sending nudes part, never send nudes, people break up, people get mad.
    During the Cold War, the two great powers in the world came to antagonise each other and for a long time we were seen to be on the brink of thermonuclear war. You know why it never came to blows? People often say because of self-preservation due to the fact both sides had nuclear weapons, but I think this sells the UN short. That said, the underlying cause for the cold war was self-preservation owing to the fact both sides had WMDs.

    What I am getting at here is that if the wee lassie has pics of the lad's little prick and he has pics of her delicate areas, both possess thermonuclear weapons and self-preservation prevails.
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    (Original post by Historicity)
    I'm inclined to disagree. You're right about the sending nudes part, never send nudes, people break up, people get mad.

    However porn is just porn. Unless you're going to see him and you have to break down the door and he tries to keep you out whilst furiously whacking it with one hand I tihnk we can all be a bit more mature about it.

    People watch porn.

    If it isn't affecting your sex life or the way he treats you I wouldn't worry too much. Talk to him about it, but for most people it's just variety. I'm sure he's very much attracted to you, but it's just a shake up of his sexual routine.

    I wouldn't demonise somebody just because they like to watch some (presumably vanilla) people getting at it to quell sexual urges.

    I will say however that he sounds very immature and I wouldn't carry on sending him nudes, you never know if you'll break up.
    Well i don't think watching porn is wrong at all.
    That wasn't my point but some people become desensitized to real life women and start to prefer the fantasy over real life sex

    I was suggesting that if she feels uncomfortable then she should ask him about it, communicate, why is there a need to lie?
    Silly really.
    Exactly, i just don't think she should send him nudes as a way to gain his attention back to her over the porn, because porn is an enjoyment for people and sending nudes won't stop it.
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    Watching porn is pretty normal, and not something to be fussed about. Lying about watching it (or in general lying about anything to a partner) is a problem - if someone is willing to lie about one thing they're probably willing to lie about others.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So this might sound stupid but I just want other peoples opinion.
    Im 17 my bf is 18, almost 19 and we've been together for almost 2 years. We live very close to each other so see each other basically everyday and we have sex almost everyday we're together.
    Now I understand men are different to girls and they need to masterbate sometimes so whenever he asks I send him nudes, this is often I totally trust him so I don't need to be told it's a bad idea. Anyway in the past we've had the porn talk and I said it would make me uncomfortable if he used it and he said he hasn't watched it in years he doesn't like it he prefers pictures and he would only like to use mine since we're together.
    I've become aware that's all lies he uses porn he often says he's going to bed then stays up to..you know. I don't like it to begin with but it makes it worse he lied.
    So is it normal to be upset or am I unreasonable? It makes me feel insecure he has my nudes but chooses other women? We spoke about it at first he denied to then I said go on your history and there was no getting out of it but he didn't talk about it he just changed the subject and lAter asked "are you sending nudes tonight"
    Am I in the wrong?
    Guys do it & girls too.At my secondary school some guys would own up to it & talk about it.I don't think it's anything to feel insecure about tbh as long as it's not affecting the relationship.

    Like everybody has said ,Stop sending nudes and I would get him to delete them.You're young ,no matter how strong your relationship.As somebody said people get angry and when somebody has pictures of you naked you never know where they might end up.

    True story.In y11 one girl had been going out with a lad.They broke up and he posted a picture of her upper body with no clothes on Facebook.How mature (!)


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    (Original post by ManifoldManifest)
    Watching porn is pretty normal, and not something to be fussed about. Lying about watching it (or in general lying about anything to a partner) is a problem - if someone is willing to lie about one thing they're probably willing to lie about others.
    I agree but maybe he is lying because he knows OP doesn't like it since she raised the issue before


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    Your nudes are just stills, they only feature one non-moving woman and she's not getting tanked by one, two or more dudes simultaneously of different races.

    Good luck competing with that.
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    Not only were your nudes a bad idea for the usual reasons, but they are illegal because you're under 18 (although I guess if he were to threaten to share them then that's protection for you), but people watch porn and there's nothing wrong with that. Let him watch porn, it makes no difference.
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    There's nothing wrong with watching porn - I'm a girl, with a boyfriend, and I watch porn, probably more often than he does! I would imagine your boyfriend lied because he knew you'd get upset and kick off about him watching it, when it's a totally normal thing for a guy to to, for anyone to do, regardless of whether they're in a relationship or not.

    He does seem very persistent with the nudes though. I've sent plenty in my time so I'm not gonna lecture you, but it's never fun when someone expects them, and it makes you feel quite used and irritated.
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    (Original post by callum_law)
    During the Cold War, the two great powers in the world came to antagonise each other and for a long time we were seen to be on the brink of thermonuclear war. You know why it never came to blows? People often say because of self-preservation due to the fact both sides had nuclear weapons, but I think this sells the UN short. That said, the underlying cause for the cold war was self-preservation owing to the fact both sides had WMDs.

    What I am getting at here is that if the wee lassie has pics of the lad's little prick and he has pics of her delicate areas, both possess thermonuclear weapons and self-preservation prevails.
    THIS! 😝 It's never cool when someone you no longer want to possess nude photos of you does indeed posess nude photos of you, but if you possess the same of them you have a little insurance policy almost.
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    Watching porn is apparently very normal for men, so I wouldn't worry. If there's anything to worry about, it's that he lied. But obviously he only did that because he knew you'd be pissed off at the truth :dontknow:

    Oh and PLEASE don't include your face or anything distinctive in the nudes you send him.
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    Thus reminds me of the Jennifer Lawrence thing. Men and women view porn differently. Just because he watches it doesn't mean he thinks less of you or is 'cheating' on you.
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    Men are different to men and women, as you said. But both watch porn.
    Secondly, just because it's natural and common to watch porn it doesn't mean that OP asking him not to watch it, and that he still watches it, is okay.
    Thirdly, it's messed up that he's "trying to have his cake and eat it too." He already has nudes from you, and said that with your nudes he won't watch porn, correct? So if he still watches porn to get off, he probably needs it. And you should tell him to go to counseling or to grow up and stop lying.

    However you shouldn't have sent the nudes to begin with. And continuing to send them. But couples will do what they do.
 
 
 
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