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What mistakes did your parents make?
Or so called mistakes? Or wrong decisions (sp) whether it be working full time when you were a baby, not breast feeding, smoking, abuse or whatever, up to you being about age 7? I was just reading another thread and it made me wonder if we all could pinpoint mistakes our parents made or maybe most people think they were brought up perfectly. Might help us with our kids who knows.
Obviously we should be grateful so make sure you include the main good things your parents did as well.
Id say the main mistake was my parents smoking really during pregnancy, also I was hit (not really a mistake but its so called not recommended now so I'l add it) The good thing was all the holidays.
Obviously we should be grateful so make sure you include the main good things your parents did as well.
Id say the main mistake was my parents smoking really during pregnancy, also I was hit (not really a mistake but its so called not recommended now so I'l add it) The good thing was all the holidays.
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
They had me...
Reply 3
I'd say not encouraging me enough. If I decided I couldn't be arsed continuing with something (e.g. Judo) it wasn't hard to just not do it. I think they should have put more emphasis on perserverance. I'm talking about stuff I couldn't be bothered with because I'd rather play on the computer than do it, not serious stuff.
I can't actually think of anything I'd say they did 'good'. I'm not saying they were bad, just nothing really 'good'.
I can't actually think of anything I'd say they did 'good'. I'm not saying they were bad, just nothing really 'good'.
Reply 4
samba
That was the best thing they did...
Reply 5
horrorboy
Or so called mistakes? Or wrong decisions (sp) whether it be working full time when you were a baby, not breast feeding, smoking, abuse or whatever, up to you being about age 7? I was just reading another thread and it made me wonder if we all could pinpoint mistakes our parents made or maybe most people think they were brought up perfectly. Might help us with our kids who knows.
Obviously we should be grateful so make sure you include the main good things your parents did as well.
Id say the main mistake was my parents smoking really during pregnancy, also I was hit (not really a mistake but its so called not recommended now so I'l add it) The good thing was all the holidays.
Obviously we should be grateful so make sure you include the main good things your parents did as well.
Id say the main mistake was my parents smoking really during pregnancy, also I was hit (not really a mistake but its so called not recommended now so I'l add it) The good thing was all the holidays.
I know exactly which thread influenced this! Anyway the worse thing was my dad sitting on me when I was naughty, he called it the stone and was sat there for like 4 minutes and I was panicking and found it hard to breath. When my mum was present though I used to pretend to be gasping for air and she yelled 'stop it get off him quick!'
Can't think of anything good, just what was expected of parents really.
Reply 6
horrorboy
Or so called mistakes? Or wrong decisions (sp) whether it be working full time when you were a baby, not breast feeding, smoking, abuse or whatever, up to you being about age 7? I was just reading another thread and it made me wonder if we all could pinpoint mistakes our parents made or maybe most people think they were brought up perfectly. Might help us with our kids who knows.
Obviously we should be grateful so make sure you include the main good things your parents did as well.
Id say the main mistake was my parents smoking really during pregnancy, also I was hit (not really a mistake but its so called not recommended now so I'l add it) The good thing was all the holidays.
Obviously we should be grateful so make sure you include the main good things your parents did as well.
Id say the main mistake was my parents smoking really during pregnancy, also I was hit (not really a mistake but its so called not recommended now so I'l add it) The good thing was all the holidays.
Not breast fed? About half of babies were not breast fed when I was born in 1985 I don't think. I'l list a few then:
Going out too much
Leaving me in charge of my evil grandmother
Formula feeding
Reply 7
beating me when i was just a few days old, starving me, making me sleep in the fireplace, giving me bad genes that make me ugly and short, fat and smelly-ugh i hate my parents
Reply 8
you should realize your dad and mum put so much effort for you, know it or not, wait till ur parents and see how it feels when someone questions your parenting.................!!!!!
Reply 9
well my step dad was an abosulute swine when i was a kid (cultimating in a court case) but that was partly my fault as well i wasnt an easy kid to be around, now im an adlt my step dad doesnt say anything bad to me and my brother not since an incident a few years ago when he came of the worse for wear. However my grandparents whom i lived with through my teenage years were even worse. My grandmother is an evil cow.
But now as an adult i have good relations with my dad. Though not my grandparents.
But now as an adult i have good relations with my dad. Though not my grandparents.
Reply 10
Child abuse.
Branding me with hot pokers was not nice either.
Branding me with hot pokers was not nice either.
Reply 11
I never had a properly fitted car seat
I slept in my parents bed when I was a baby
I was put on solids at about 3 or 4 months
I played in the back garden by myself (mother used slug pellets)
I was allowed to continue eating food I'd dropped on the floor (good for my immune system apparently)
The way everyone is so obsessed with health and safety these days I'm amazed I survived childhood! Still at least I was breast fed.
I slept in my parents bed when I was a baby
I was put on solids at about 3 or 4 months
I played in the back garden by myself (mother used slug pellets)
I was allowed to continue eating food I'd dropped on the floor (good for my immune system apparently)
The way everyone is so obsessed with health and safety these days I'm amazed I survived childhood! Still at least I was breast fed.
Reply 12
Swearing (It's totally rubbed off, my language is appalling at times)
Physical violence
Sexual abuse from my mum's husband.
Intimidation
Emotional abuse
Favouratism
I can't recall my mum ever saying she loved me or giving me a hug.
Often went days without any cooked food
Selfishness.
I don't know if I was breast-fed. I don't actually care.
That's it.
Physical violence
Sexual abuse from my mum's husband.
Intimidation
Emotional abuse
Favouratism
I can't recall my mum ever saying she loved me or giving me a hug.
Often went days without any cooked food
Selfishness.
I don't know if I was breast-fed. I don't actually care.
That's it.
Reply 13
^ 
sorry to hear about all that, that's nasty.
As much I love my parents, they have made a few mistakes. They neglected to tell me of their past until I was 13 so the shocks and secrets really hit me big time. They never really motivated me or encouraged me to do well in my grades or told me why I was being educated and just said "go study!". I don't know their real likes and dislikes. It's weird. I don't really know what else to say.
sorry to hear about all that, that's nasty.As much I love my parents, they have made a few mistakes. They neglected to tell me of their past until I was 13 so the shocks and secrets really hit me big time. They never really motivated me or encouraged me to do well in my grades or told me why I was being educated and just said "go study!". I don't know their real likes and dislikes. It's weird. I don't really know what else to say.
The main mistake my parents made was not telling me they loved me enough, and not hugging me... ever. I feel uncomfortable when my mum tries to hug me when i get home from a term of uni - that can't be right!
My parents adopted 2 children (with severe learning difficulties) when i was 5. This isn't a bad thing, it's a very good thing - i love my lil bro and sis and they've made me see the world very differently. However, my mum and step dad drink a lot of alcohol. They get through at least 12 bottles of wine a week. This is clearly having an effect on my mum's health and will probably eventually (hopefully not for years and years) end in her dying prematurely. My younger brother will need daily input from someone to live a healthy happy life when he's older (for his whole life), and when my mum dies, that responsibility will fall to me. I have always dreamed of living in New Zealand, but i know that i will never be able to live their permanently because when my parents die i will have to return to England to be around for my brother.
That's a mistake i think. I managed to get my mum to stop drinking alcohol for 3 months, but then she started again. In my opinion, she's alcoholic, which tbh is her choice... but when it means that i can't live my life as i want to, that's not fair.
*end rant*
My parents adopted 2 children (with severe learning difficulties) when i was 5. This isn't a bad thing, it's a very good thing - i love my lil bro and sis and they've made me see the world very differently. However, my mum and step dad drink a lot of alcohol. They get through at least 12 bottles of wine a week. This is clearly having an effect on my mum's health and will probably eventually (hopefully not for years and years) end in her dying prematurely. My younger brother will need daily input from someone to live a healthy happy life when he's older (for his whole life), and when my mum dies, that responsibility will fall to me. I have always dreamed of living in New Zealand, but i know that i will never be able to live their permanently because when my parents die i will have to return to England to be around for my brother.
That's a mistake i think. I managed to get my mum to stop drinking alcohol for 3 months, but then she started again. In my opinion, she's alcoholic, which tbh is her choice... but when it means that i can't live my life as i want to, that's not fair.
*end rant*
My mum couldn't of done anything better she's great and i love her.
My dad...
Wasn't around enough
Never really tells me he loves me
Favours my half brother and sister
Never contacts me
Throws money at me because i think he believes it makes me happy
Cheated on my mum when she was pregnant with me, resulting in my half sister. (it's hard to explain why she's only 3 months younger than me
)
My dad...
Wasn't around enough
Never really tells me he loves me
Favours my half brother and sister
Never contacts me
Throws money at me because i think he believes it makes me happy
Cheated on my mum when she was pregnant with me, resulting in my half sister. (it's hard to explain why she's only 3 months younger than me
)
Reply 17
My dad has always hit me and my younger brothers/our family moved house a long way from my friends and school so that my brothers would get into schools we didn't have to pay for/they make me work in a place I hate and won't pay for anything and when i complain tell me that it's because all the money goes to paying for school fees even though they encouraged me to stay at my current school/ never have and never will show any affection or tell me that they love me etc but have no problem paying my brothers tons of attention constantly/ ignoring me when i have some problems i need to go the doctor about and telling me they're too busy to sort them out.
I know other people have had much more damaging childhoods though and i'm probably just being selfish.
I know other people have had much more damaging childhoods though and i'm probably just being selfish.
I wouldn't call not being breastfed a mistake - my mother couldn't, and I'm perfectly healthy regardless.
A mistake would be that either parent always sticks by the other one even when the other one is wrong, and I disagree with that. While parents have to present a united front, I think loving someone includes knowing/admitting when they're wrong and not just agreeing with them blindly.
Probably a more major mistake though is my mother not thinking through her actions, thinking she's doing the best for me but doing some damage in the long run. e.g. she didn't like one of my best friends because this friend was a Jehovah's Witness. Religion was one of the things we had in common and since I didn't have any other religious friends it was understandable that this was one of our topics of conversation. When she left school we wrote to one another and this continued to be one of our topics of conversation. My mother found one of the letters, went mental and forbade us to write to one another again (seeing that since my friend was a JW, she *must* have been out to convert me ). My friend, being ever-respectful of adults, respected my mother's wishes when I wrote to tell her of them and I never heard from her again. Consequently I lost one of the best friends I ever had I could tell this girl everything and my mum took that away from me, which in all honesty I'm not sure I've entirely forgiven her for, since I've always found it very hard to make friends and it's rare for me to find someone I get on that well with. Now there's a mistake
They also didn't respect my religious beliefs (when I had them) and it caused a lot of friction. It took many years to rebuild my relationship with them after that as I didn't feel they respected me.
Having said that though, on all other accounts, my parents have been pretty good parents.
A mistake would be that either parent always sticks by the other one even when the other one is wrong, and I disagree with that. While parents have to present a united front, I think loving someone includes knowing/admitting when they're wrong and not just agreeing with them blindly.
Probably a more major mistake though is my mother not thinking through her actions, thinking she's doing the best for me but doing some damage in the long run. e.g. she didn't like one of my best friends because this friend was a Jehovah's Witness. Religion was one of the things we had in common and since I didn't have any other religious friends it was understandable that this was one of our topics of conversation. When she left school we wrote to one another and this continued to be one of our topics of conversation. My mother found one of the letters, went mental and forbade us to write to one another again (seeing that since my friend was a JW, she *must* have been out to convert me
). My friend, being ever-respectful of adults, respected my mother's wishes when I wrote to tell her of them and I never heard from her again. Consequently I lost one of the best friends I ever had I could tell this girl everything and my mum took that away from me, which in all honesty I'm not sure I've entirely forgiven her for, since I've always found it very hard to make friends and it's rare for me to find someone I get on that well with. Now there's a mistake They also didn't respect my religious beliefs (when I had them) and it caused a lot of friction. It took many years to rebuild my relationship with them after that as I didn't feel they respected me.
Having said that though, on all other accounts, my parents have been pretty good parents.
Reply 19
Segat1
My parents were/are really good. I'm really grateful to them.
Sometimes I read this forum and realise what a ridiculously happy childhood I had. And how lucky I was as a child, and, indeed, still am.
Sometimes I read this forum and realise what a ridiculously happy childhood I had. And how lucky I was as a child, and, indeed, still am.
Ditto.
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