really serious things = lack of trust

I have a serious worry. This will be really hard to write and so i'm sorry if it's not overly detailed, i just have never written this down when i know people will read it who i dont know.

9 months ago i was at a party and though pretty drunk can still remember it exactly and wasn;t overly drunk. I was talking to a guy and ended up kissing him. I then tried to leave him and see my friends and he pushed me against the wall. After struggling away from him and saying no, things i could not stop happened.
Before all this happened i had issues trusting guys because i always seemed to be getting hurt by them. Since this, i have even more porblems with trusting people, particularly guys. In september I am going to uni and am petrified what will happen, will i be left behind because i will find it hard to trust and be me? im really worried and dont know how to start trusting again. it's driving me insane.

Reply 1

starchild

15

Anonymous

I have a serious worry. This will be really hard to write and so i'm sorry if it's not overly detailed, i just have never written this down when i know people will read it who i dont know.

9 months ago i was at a party and though pretty drunk can still remember it exactly and wasn;t overly drunk. I was talking to a guy and ended up kissing him. I then tried to leave him and see my friends and he pushed me against the wall. After struggling away from him and saying no, things i could not stop happened.
Before all this happened i had issues trusting guys because i always seemed to be getting hurt by them. Since this, i have even more porblems with trusting people, particularly guys. In september I am going to uni and am petrified what will happen, will i be left behind because i will find it hard to trust and be me? im really worried and dont know how to start trusting again. it's driving me insane.

there is nothing wrong with being cautious when you go to uni or even life in general. I know what you feel, well to an extent, I haven't been hurt as much as you. My parents for my whole life- pysically and mentally abused me, have told me again and again that I would become a loner, steal people's friends and tear everyone apart. They also said that I could never maintain friendships and relationships and that I was nothing to them or anyone in the future. I know what you mean with not trusting people because I feel like I would ruin friendships.

Why dont you try to see university as a fresh start. You meet new people who are just as nervous as you, just as scared and you dont know what they've been through, just them as themselves at that moment. We cannot see what is behind them whether its fear, or even happiness. We get to know people at uni (from what i understand) by how they are now. I am sure, that you have a lovely personality and that you will learn to trust again, albeit hard now. Just take it one step at a time

:hugs:

if you want to ever talk PM me :smile:

sitaraxxx

Reply 2

lauren_00

i agree with above, take it one day at a time and remember uni is a new start!
good lukc

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

i have no trust in men. i was involved in somthing similar. its been over a year now . the only guy i have had any contact with is a gd friend and is gay. i have totally given up on men, all men seem entirely motivated by one thing. it is depressing and disgusting degeneration of society. no men have any morals or decency anymore.

i am not sure what you can do. to be entirely hoenst i dont think you can get over something like this by yourself. i cant. and talking abut it just brings it back. it has permently affected my private life i dont care about men and have no interest in having a bf because i am afraid and mistrustful. perhaps time will heal it.

i mean perhaps you can see uni as a new start and all but the same mistrust will be there. i think enjoy uni life, but be extra careful in what you do - avoid men and relationships entirely until you feel strong enough to handle them and dont feel social pressure to do studff or be in situations you are not comfortable with. this is what im doing. i think in the longer term, you may get over it partly. it was a big deal to me as i had never been with any guy before and now i feel liek i can never trust a guy in that way again. in fact i also didnt belive in sex befoere marriage but men generally dont tolerate tyhis belife which has worsened my mistrust.
you are not alone, and unni's generally have good counsellors who you can talk to which might helpl. i didnt have this as i think it will make me worse. but it may help you and is worth a try.miht be better than seeing one through the doc as theres no stigma.
the only real thing is time which will heal it. sorry

really serious things = lack of trust

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