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    Okay, so I'm currently on a gap year during which time i have done a bit of travelling, working and will now be volunteering doing music sessions with special needs kids in Sri Lanka and with an organisation called the music project in the war torn North while preparing to do my LTCL in flute in December. I have 8A*s and 2A's at IGCSE (music wasnt on offer) and 2A*s (history and biology) and 2Bs (unfortunately music and geo) at A'level. I grew up in Sri Lanka where schools do not offer A'level music as a subject and so I was forced to take it outside of school and largely self teach with some limited help from my flute teacher which was not ideal. I have a distinction at ABRSM grade 8 flute, have played in the 3 orchestras, was choir captain at school and have a bit of local performing experience. However, my general musical and theory knowledge is absolutely terrible. Having never studied it as a subject (outside performance) until my A'level course and then only learning from the syllabus, it just really is abysmal in my opinion. I have tried getting out books from the library and educating myself but i find it difficult to self motivate and learn it all. I have no keyboard skills, I cant tell you the birth years of composers or correctly define different forms,etc. and my knowledge of harmony and counterpoint rules are severely limited but when I play my flute, the music just happens and I can feel it within me! I don't expect to become a big time performer, but I want the music in me to reach its full potential and then, I would like to use it for good and perhaps become a music therapist. I'm worried though, that I stand no chance of getting in anywhere nice and am sure everyone else knows so much more than me. I was head girl, house captain a prefect,etc and I know that I am making life difficult for myself and could get in easily to study history or the like, but this is my dream, the question is, is it unrealistic?
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