What is going on?

I have close group of 4 friends including me, 2 other girls and a boy. The problem is i am the only one in the group who is not single yet when we go out i'm the person who gets the most attention from the guys. I don't think i'm any prettier than my friends, none of us are ugly but i wouldn't say i was the prettiest, i'm probably the fattest and quietest, but also probably the most outrageous when i'm drunk. I constantly worry that they might get jealous of the attention i get. Are guys automatically attracted to girls who are attached? Is it possible to be able to direct this unwanted attention to one of my friends? How can i stop guys liking me but help my friends attract more of the attention they want?

Reply 1

IzzyWizzy

10

Why would your friends be jealous? Do you have a reason to think so? Maybe they don't want the kind of attention you get? Maybe they aren't out looking for guys? Maybe they're lesbians? Only you know your friends and how they act so nobody can really tell you. How would guys know you were attached though unless you tell them?

Reply 2

hippieglitter

OP

19

IzzyWizzy

Why would your friends be jealous? Do you have a reason to think so? Maybe they don't want the kind of attention you get? Maybe they aren't out looking for guys? Maybe they're lesbians? Only you know your friends and how they act so nobody can really tell you. How would guys know you were attached though unless you tell them?

Exactly, thats what i mean they don't know, but it just seems like that, cos all my friends are single.

Reply 3

IzzyWizzy

10

Maybe you seem like more of a laugh and your friends are quiet? It's impossible to know unless you know these people personally imo.

Reply 4

shewantstobeme

10

you're probably just more relaxed and outgoing, and because of the subconscious body language you emit by not worrying about being on the pull, guys pick up on it and feel more attracted to you.

being in a relationship or levels of attention may not matter to your mates when you're out having a good time with friends, so unless they point out what you posted i wouldn't worry about it.
if you find it a problem don't make eye contact or look around at other guys, or if you are at more of a social event where you're talking to new guys just chill out and see what happens. talk to them normally like a friend. they may not be as interest in a sexual way, just you're a fun person to talk to.

Reply 5

hippieglitter

OP

19

On more than one occasion one of the girls and the boy have pointed out that i get more attention yet i am the one with a boyfriend, not in a mean or resentful way but in a jokey way as if to say, 'hey, how come they go to the one who doesn't want them?'

Reply 6

Nix!

11

hippieglitter

On more than one occasion one of the girls and the boy have pointed out that i get more attention yet i am the one with a boyfriend, not in a mean or resentful way but in a jokey way as if to say, 'hey, how come they go to the one who doesn't want them?'

It's probably down to the way you act sub-consciously. You have a boyfriend and as such you're less afraid of where things may lead.

Reply 7

D-503

1

Well it depends- is it like "what the hell is that outrageous girl doing?" attention or "I'd like to throw her boyfriend in the river" attention? Incidentally, I love these 'I'm too pretty/popular/smart/lovely...what should I do' threads haha. It's easy to avoid male attention. If you didn't actually want it, you wouldn't get it.

Reply 8

Jennybean

13

Pechorin

It's easy to avoid male attention. If you didn't actually want it, you wouldn't get it.

I completely disagree. Me and my two best friends at uni are happily taken and believe me we really don't want strange guys talking to us on the Tube, especially not when we're on our own. I don't think I'm particularly attractive but I have taken to wearing a ring on my wedding finger in an attempt to stop randomers trying to talk to me. If that what it's like for ME, on the Tube, I can certainly imagine things are much more intense in a club/pub environment for hippieglitter. OP I expect it is to do with how you come across to people, knowing you are happily settled in a relationship. A lot of the time people don't even realise how they are perceived by other people and much as we may not want to, often when we're single we come across as a little clingy/desperate with people we've met and have an interest in. I would say it's pretty likely that your friends are displaying tiny signals in the way they conduct themselves that scream "I'm available!" while you seem much calmer because you're not looking for anyone else. Generally speaking men love a challenge and if you seem disinterested then I would imagine that's very attractive.

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