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He seems "perfect" in most areas but he's SO judgmental? watch

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    Met an older guy (in his 30s, I'm in my 20s) recently who obviously has a thing for me. He's attractive, gets on well with people, we have interests in common like stamp collecting etc. He's given out a lot of signs that he likes me and is always hugging me etc.

    Something really worries me though, even more because he's an introvert tho he gets on well with people and is nice to their "faces". He can be really judgmental about people/things behind their backs. He's very smart (he did Architecture and then a Masters, won a scholarship etc) but will say things like "Oh, X (our friend) is really bad at this" or "I hated that restaurant, the food was awful" when it really was quite good. I've said to him I don't like it and he does seem to tone it down if reminded but he has a "judgy" personality even if he doesn't show it.

    I am kind of worried that if we got together he would judge me like that TBH. I am not perfect but he seems to have fallen for me too fast (possibly because I take care of my appearance and I guess guys are into looks) but I want someone who is more laid back, advice?
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    You have to decide whether or not it's a dealbreaker. That's just him and his personality, if someone has to change themselves for you then they're not right for you in the first place, simple as that really.
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    Drop him like a sack of s**t.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Met an older guy (in his 30s, I'm in my 20s) recently who obviously has a thing for me. He's attractive, gets on well with people, we have interests in common like stamp collecting etc. He's given out a lot of signs that he likes me and is always hugging me etc.

    Something really worries me though, even more because he's an introvert tho he gets on well with people and is nice to their "faces". He can be really judgmental about people/things behind their backs. He's very smart (he did Architecture and then a Masters, won a scholarship etc) but will say things like "Oh, X (our friend) is really bad at this" or "I hated that restaurant, the food was awful" when it really was quite good. I've said to him I don't like it and he does seem to tone it down if reminded but he has a "judgy" personality even if he doesn't show it.

    I am kind of worried that if we got together he would judge me like that TBH. I am not perfect but he seems to have fallen for me too fast (possibly because I take care of my appearance and I guess guys are into looks) but I want someone who is more laid back, advice?
    Lol this.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Met an older guy (in his 30s, I'm in my 20s) recently who obviously has a thing for me. He's attractive, gets on well with people, we have interests in common like stamp collecting etc. He's given out a lot of signs that he likes me and is always hugging me etc.

    Something really worries me though, even more because he's an introvert tho he gets on well with people and is nice to their "faces". He can be really judgmental about people/things behind their backs. He's very smart (he did Architecture and then a Masters, won a scholarship etc) but will say things like "Oh, X (our friend) is really bad at this" or "I hated that restaurant, the food was awful" when it really was quite good. I've said to him I don't like it and he does seem to tone it down if reminded but he has a "judgy" personality even if he doesn't show it.

    I am kind of worried that if we got together he would judge me like that TBH. I am not perfect but he seems to have fallen for me too fast (possibly because I take care of my appearance and I guess guys are into looks) but I want someone who is more laid back, advice?
    Everybody judges everybody.

    He's clearly judged you and deemed you worthy.
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    (Original post by WoodyMKC)
    You have to decide whether or not it's a dealbreaker. That's just him and his personality, if someone has to change themselves for you then they're not right for you in the first place, simple as that really.
    Yeah, I'm wondering if I'm being too fussy or not, is it just him not being tactful or that he's just nicer on the outside to me because he likes me? what do you think?

    (Original post by MrKmas508)
    Drop him like a sack of s**t.
    the mental imagery :rofl:

    if this isn't entirely a funny post why?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Met an older guy (in his 30s, I'm in my 20s) recently who obviously has a thing for me. He's attractive, gets on well with people, we have interests in common like stamp collecting etc. He's given out a lot of signs that he likes me and is always hugging me etc.

    Something really worries me though, even more because he's an introvert tho he gets on well with people and is nice to their "faces". He can be really judgmental about people/things behind their backs. He's very smart (he did Architecture and then a Masters, won a scholarship etc) but will say things like "Oh, X (our friend) is really bad at this" or "I hated that restaurant, the food was awful" when it really was quite good. I've said to him I don't like it and he does seem to tone it down if reminded but he has a "judgy" personality even if he doesn't show it.

    I am kind of worried that if we got together he would judge me like that TBH. I am not perfect but he seems to have fallen for me too fast (possibly because I take care of my appearance and I guess guys are into looks) but I want someone who is more laid back, advice?
    I know so many older people who've divorced their (ex) husbands because they thought they were smart and it turned out they were emotionally shallow *******s - just a thought.
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    He's into stamp collecting good luck finding another guy who is.
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    (Original post by Ser Alex Toyne)
    Lol this.
    Yeah that and the age difference has me wondering if he's just nice to me because he finds me attractive lol. It's about 15 years, usually I wouldn't even consider it apart from the fact we "click."

    He does seem to get on with others outwardly but if I heard him saying the same things about me he says about others behind their backs I would be a little offended yes.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah that and the age difference has me wondering if he's just nice to me because he finds me attractive lol. It's about 15 years, usually I wouldn't even consider it apart from the fact we "click."

    He does seem to get on with others outwardly but if I heard him saying the same things about me he says about others behind their backs I would be a little offended yes.
    You never know until you try
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    (Original post by Docjones1)
    I know so many older people who've divorced their (ex) husbands because they thought they were smart and it turned out they were emotionally shallow *******s - just a thought.
    That's a good point, I actually met another older guy who's smart recently and also had an obvious "thing" for me and he turned out to be really emotionally immature. He had a superiority complex, I'm not sure if this guy is the same

    (Original post by Shadez)
    He's into stamp collecting good luck finding another guy who is.
    when i say stamp collecting i mean my little pony

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    das it mane
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    (Original post by Ser Alex Toyne)
    You never know until you try
    I don't want to be his toygirl Mr Knight, what would you do though
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    I'd see how it goes, nobody is perfect, but only you can decide whether it's too much to live with. I probably wouldn't be able to deal with that because I'm very open-minded and don't like judgy people.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't want to be his toygirl Mr Knight, what would you do though
    It's Ser, thank you.

    And I'd give it a go, as I said before.
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    (Original post by EllainKahlo)
    I'd see how it goes, nobody is perfect, but only you can decide whether it's too much to live with. I probably wouldn't be able to deal with that because I'm very open-minded and don't like judgy people.
    Would you go out with him if he asked? I felt like he was going to do that the other day but then some other people said hi and it stopped the "moment".

    I guess everyone has their faults, some of the "open minded" guys I've known I wouldn't get on with either because their open mindedness led them to do things like drink too heavily. Does he sound too judgy to you though?
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    (Original post by Ser Alex Toyne)
    It's Ser, thank you.

    And I'd give it a go, as I said before.
    So just date him w/o sleeping?

    Also have you challenged the Mountain?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So just date him w/o sleeping?

    Also have you challenged the Mountain?
    No, since he doesn't exist. I'm actually a medieval reenactor in the Knights of Royal England group, but that's a story for another time.

    Just date him for now, and take it slow. Don't just jump into sex. Gauge out his character first, to see his virtues and flaws.
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    (Original post by Ser Alex Toyne)
    No, since he doesn't exist. I'm actually a medieval reenactor in the Knights of Royal England group, but that's a story for another time.

    Just date him for now, and take it slow. Don't just jump into sex. Gauge out his character first, to see his virtues and flaws.
    that sounds cool, i live in bristol and we have a living history group round here :yep:

    thanks
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Would you go out with him if he asked? I felt like he was going to do that the other day but then some other people said hi and it stopped the "moment".

    I guess everyone has their faults, some of the "open minded" guys I've known I wouldn't get on with either because their open mindedness led them to do things like drink too heavily. Does he sound too judgy to you though?
    Maybe, maybe he just doesn't realise how he sounds. Some people are like that, their actual thoughts are disconnected from their delivery so they sound worse than they actually are - I can't say for sure without being in your shoes though. I'd give him a chance, just remember you needn't commit to anything if you find you can't deal with it in the future. It's difficult, as you said, you don't want someone too 'open-minded' or too judgemental. You said you've already told him how he sounds, perhaps just give it some time and if it doesn't change, then I'd just keep my distance. After all, if it's so easy for him to talk badly about people behind their back, there's nothing to say he won't do that with you.

    My real worry is, this early in the relationship you shouldn't have such an outstanding issue with him so maybe he just isn't right for you if he needs to change to suit you better. I'm not saying that's your fault, it could change, give it time!
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    How are you going to ask for advice from a bunch of judgemental pricks and hypocrites on this site?
 
 
 
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