What's going on with my boyfriend

It's wrecking my head at the moment and I can't concentrate. This has happened a few times but last night was the worst. Basically, he gets really upset about something ridiculous and gets really cold towards me, waits for me to apologise (I usually haven't done anything, it's him who picks the arguments) or text him begging him to come round and talk. It's always me who has to make the effort to fix things.
Last night he was explaining something to me involving figures and got the maths wrong. When I pointed it out he got annoyed with me, probably as he was embarrassed I knew better than him when he studies Maths at uni. I made a lighthearted jibe about Media students being cleverer and he got offended, called me a smart arse and said to ******* off and then after that he kept going on about it. He said he was annoyed with himself, not with me, as he should not have made such a silly mistake, and he kept going over and over it in his head. I said to forget about it and tried to distract him but he was obviously thinking about it for the next hour. He didn't text me all day today (he normally texts loads) and when I saw him the the library he was still acting funny. He apologised for last night but it was a half arsed apology. I could see he wanted to say more but he didn't know what to say, or something and I'm tired of always being the one to apologise when I've done nothing wrong. I got up to get my bus home and he let me go without saying anything.

I know this sounds REALLY immature and stupid, but apart from the way he gets annoyed over nothing and blames it on me, my boyfriend is cool. I would normally dump someone for acting like this but when I don't see him I miss him loads. I'm even more unhappy when he's not around, and 95% of the time it's great and we get along really well. What can I do to tell him that the way he acts sometimes is driving me up the wall without it sounding like I hate him?

Reply 1

annalisa

aw it sounds like he can give you quite a hard time and he sounds like a bit of a bully. it is unfair to treat you this way, even though you like him a lot. stand up to him and question his behaviour; this will show that you respect yourself and he will be more likely to respect you than if you are the one always apologising. i recommend you don't apologise when you have done nothing wrong, to show you are no push over, as this gives him total control. do NOT beg him to come round to talk anymore :smile:

pursue other interests and remember that he is not the most important thing in your life and you deserve someone who treats you right! :smile:

good luck!
annalisa
xxxxxxx

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Yeah you're right. It's funny because people see me as a hard person and not a pushover at all. I know I shouldn't be begging him to talk to me when it's his problem but I'm afraid he'll end it with me and as furious as he makes me sometimes, I'm happier with him than I was single. It's terrible!!!!

Reply 3

Nix!

He just sounds like he's got a bit of growing up to do.

Reply 4

annalisa

i know it is hard as you are afraid he will end it; but would it really be so bad to be single again? it is better than being in a relationship where you are not treated very well. would you actually miss him or being in a relationship?
xxxxxx

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

I was tired of being single, and I was miserable, and I met him just at the right time, when I felt like packing it all in. He made me really happy. We did have problems at the start where he felt like I wasn't putting in as much effort as him, I knew he was right so I started texting more etc. But this time I know it has nothing to do with me. I did nothing to make him react like this.
I would miss being in a relationship, but I would also miss him. When I saw him today I just wanted to give him a huge hug but I stopped myself because I don't see why I should forgive him so easily for getting angry with me for nothing and making me feel awful.

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