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how do i stop being so insecure?
HELP!!!! it's my worst flaw.
and i feel like if i praise myself, i'm being vain or selfish.
and i feel like if i praise myself, i'm being vain or selfish.
Well, my pep talk on msn isn't working then? 
Sigh!
Sigh!ScarecrowJack
Well, my pep talk on msn isn't working then? Sigh!
Sigh!IT IS very much!!! but multitasking doesn't hurt
dementedbunny
HELP!!!! it's my worst flaw.
and i feel like if i praise myself, i'm being vain or selfish.
and i feel like if i praise myself, i'm being vain or selfish.
Insecure about what exactly?
blackswan
Insecure about what exactly?
i'm not sure. there are lots of things, but i can't pinpoint. it's hard to explain. it's like i have to reaffirm myself a lot via other people but i don't believe them most times. and i know it's wrong but it's hard to get out of that cycle.
Lib North
Ach, there's nothing wrong with being vain or selfish. The latter is what human being are designed for, the former everybody engages in with some variations in the way it actually displays itself.
Embrace your nature. Or, better yet, stop giving a toss about it.
Embrace your nature. Or, better yet, stop giving a toss about it.
i feel wrong if i embrace my insecurities. and i try not to give a toss but it's really hard not to.
dementedbunny
i'm not sure. there are lots of things, but i can't pinpoint. it's hard to explain. it's like i have to reaffirm myself a lot via other people but i don't believe them most times. and i know it's wrong but it's hard to get out of that cycle.
I'm a pretty insecure person myself. I always need reasurance about what ever I do. All you have to do is have some faith that things will be ok and don't think about the negative aspects.
Lib North
Why bother passing judgement on yourself? So what if you're turn out to be a complete bastard, everyone else is...
i don't want to be like everyone else. and i do try not to pass judgement but i end up doing it all the time.
I said this in tesh's thread - but the same applies here:
I'm quite a shy guy, and only recently have I come out of my shell.. and I've found a few things have helped me greatly.
The main thing that has boosted my confidence is that I have taken up martial arts. You may laugh, but seriously - try it. EVERYONE I know of who has taken up a martial art has ALWAYS gotten a huge boost in confidence. You feel so much more empowered, and it also keeps you fit, so you both look better and feel better (which are correlated anyways).
Another thing is to work out.. same reasons as the martial arts; but it's a slightly different feeling. It's proven that if you look better, you feel better - and working out/going to the gym REALLY helps - plus you get to meet new people (which is another key factor to boosting your confidence).
As well as that - generally thinking positive DOES help. I know it's very hard, but once you start getting into the cycle of caring less about things/what others think then you begin to fool yourself and actually BELIEVE it.
confidence and insecurity are interchangable really.. especially in the advice that I am giving.
Hope it helps.
I'm quite a shy guy, and only recently have I come out of my shell.. and I've found a few things have helped me greatly.
The main thing that has boosted my confidence is that I have taken up martial arts. You may laugh, but seriously - try it. EVERYONE I know of who has taken up a martial art has ALWAYS gotten a huge boost in confidence. You feel so much more empowered, and it also keeps you fit, so you both look better and feel better (which are correlated anyways).
Another thing is to work out.. same reasons as the martial arts; but it's a slightly different feeling. It's proven that if you look better, you feel better - and working out/going to the gym REALLY helps - plus you get to meet new people (which is another key factor to boosting your confidence).
As well as that - generally thinking positive DOES help. I know it's very hard, but once you start getting into the cycle of caring less about things/what others think then you begin to fool yourself and actually BELIEVE it.
confidence and insecurity are interchangable really.. especially in the advice that I am giving.
Hope it helps.
latot
I said this in tesh's thread - but the same applies here:
I'm quite a shy guy, and only recently have I come out of my shell.. and I've found a few things have helped me greatly.
The main thing that has boosted my confidence is that I have taken up martial arts. You may laugh, but seriously - try it. EVERYONE I know of who has taken up a martial art has ALWAYS gotten a huge boost in confidence. You feel so much more empowered, and it also keeps you fit, so you both look better and feel better (which are correlated anyways).
Another thing is to work out.. same reasons as the martial arts; but it's a slightly different feeling. It's proven that if you look better, you feel better - and working out/going to the gym REALLY helps - plus you get to meet new people (which is another key factor to boosting your confidence).
As well as that - generally thinking positive DOES help. I know it's very hard, but once you start getting into the cycle of caring less about things/what others think then you begin to fool yourself and actually BELIEVE it.
confidence and insecurity are interchangable really.. especially in the advice that I am giving.
Hope it helps.
I'm quite a shy guy, and only recently have I come out of my shell.. and I've found a few things have helped me greatly.
The main thing that has boosted my confidence is that I have taken up martial arts. You may laugh, but seriously - try it. EVERYONE I know of who has taken up a martial art has ALWAYS gotten a huge boost in confidence. You feel so much more empowered, and it also keeps you fit, so you both look better and feel better (which are correlated anyways).
Another thing is to work out.. same reasons as the martial arts; but it's a slightly different feeling. It's proven that if you look better, you feel better - and working out/going to the gym REALLY helps - plus you get to meet new people (which is another key factor to boosting your confidence).
As well as that - generally thinking positive DOES help. I know it's very hard, but once you start getting into the cycle of caring less about things/what others think then you begin to fool yourself and actually BELIEVE it.
confidence and insecurity are interchangable really.. especially in the advice that I am giving.
Hope it helps.
Martial Arts took me from having panic attacks in the dark (even when surrounded by people)to being completely fine, even on my own.
I've even gained more self-confidence. Ive stoppped now, doing 2 potentially painful sports was difficult. But for the first time in my life I can walk down the street with my head held high feeling slightly more secure in myself.
i can't afford martial arts lessons 
Some places can tend to overcharge - but a good price would be about £3 per lesson.. the club my friends run is £1 per lesson - and is very helpful.. so the more expensive doesn't always mean better.
But you don't necessarily need lessons - grab a good book or 2 (or even get an ebook or 2) and teach yourself.
I'd recommend: Krav Maga, jiu-jitsu, Gracie/Brazilian Jiu-jitsu, aikido, and check out some Bas Rutten stuff.
Go for runs etc - generally just physical exercise makes one feel better and more confident/happy
But you don't necessarily need lessons - grab a good book or 2 (or even get an ebook or 2) and teach yourself.
I'd recommend: Krav Maga, jiu-jitsu, Gracie/Brazilian Jiu-jitsu, aikido, and check out some Bas Rutten stuff.
Go for runs etc - generally just physical exercise makes one feel better and more confident/happy
I'll second the martial arts idea. A few years back, I went because my dad thought I needed to know how to protect myself and it would make me more confident. I'm soooo much better today. It really does help. It won't completely stop your insecurity though because I still am a very insecure person. I used to be a lot worse, granted, but I still feel like I need constant reassurance from people I care about that they care about me too, otherwise I get upset. It's so stupid, really. I'm assuming it will improve with age (hope so anyway!).
i suggest you list the things you want to do, it seems to me that your insecurities are coming from not accomplishing your targets.
get a white board in your room and start making lists of things you want to get done. do all of them and everytime you finish something, scratch it off! it helps wonders!
you'll start feeling better and it will also help you stop thinking about your insecurities. try to go out and socialise. meet new people, maybe go to your local youth centre? its free and theres loads of things to do there.
try also changing the music you listen to if you're the type of person who listens to music most of the time. i found rock very relaxing but i often end up asleep. now i'm listening to japanese pop. it makes no sense, but keeps me interested in trying to learn the lyrics, very fun ^^
if you're a girl ask your parents for adequate money to go shopping. go on your own! you need the confidence to assure yourself that you want to buy a certain item without others' opinions. this is another way to embrace yourself and come out of your insecurities. i hope those ideas helped ^^
get a white board in your room and start making lists of things you want to get done. do all of them and everytime you finish something, scratch it off! it helps wonders!
you'll start feeling better and it will also help you stop thinking about your insecurities. try to go out and socialise. meet new people, maybe go to your local youth centre? its free and theres loads of things to do there.
try also changing the music you listen to if you're the type of person who listens to music most of the time. i found rock very relaxing but i often end up asleep. now i'm listening to japanese pop. it makes no sense, but keeps me interested in trying to learn the lyrics, very fun ^^
if you're a girl ask your parents for adequate money to go shopping. go on your own! you need the confidence to assure yourself that you want to buy a certain item without others' opinions. this is another way to embrace yourself and come out of your insecurities. i hope those ideas helped ^^
thanks everyone 
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