Turn on thread page Beta

My dad found out I smoke, help? watch

Announcements
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    I'm 18 and I smoke socially (if I'm at a party or out with friends, I'll have a draw or one to myself if I have them). My dad's a very heavy smoker and my mum died of cancer 5 years ago. In the end, I'd say I smoke an average of 5 a week just between days without etc, and I'm certainly not addicted. It's literally something I do on the odd occasion.

    My dad came into my room and told me to come through because we had a very serious discussion to have. He asked me if I smoked, and I admitted it because I didn't see the point in lying at this point. He then launched into this huge rant about how he no longer trusted me and talked about how stupid I was. He was worried about me moving out for uni, but now I think he's seriously doubting letting me go at all.

    The point is that I know that it's a filthy thing to do and all the risks that come with it, but I literally turned 18 two weeks ago and I wanted to try it. I just wanted the experience of it before I leave home. I know how easy it is to get addicted, but that's genuinely not how I use them.

    I totally understand why he's upset about it, but I just really want to fix it now. I'll give it up completely. Can anyone advise me on how to patch things over with him now? Should I hand over the cigarettes I have left? How can I reason with him maturely? He won't let me out of the house because of it, so I can't enjoy my last week at home with my friends. Please help!
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    I can understand why he's upset. He's seen your mum die of cancer, and he wouldn't want the same to happen to you. He's just thinking in your best interests, and trying to protect you.

    You just need to let him calm down a bit, think things over, and have a chat with him. Unfortunately though as you are only just 18, he may still see you as a child, possibly coming to the realisation that you are old enough to make decisions but he won't see it that way just yet.

    Maybe just give up the casual smoking for now, a relationship with your father is more important. When you are no longer living under his roof it will be easier for you to do those things.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by The Milk Thief)

    Can anyone advise me on how to patch things over with him now? He won't let me out of the house because of it, so I can't even enjoy my last week at home with my friends. Please help!
    This is a standard parent reaction, anyone who has been found smoking will go through a house arrest with no money handouts.

    Unfortunately this takes time and, although not knowing your dad, I can tell you that there's nothing you can do at the moment. And all for the better, you should seriously quit that sh**.
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by The Milk Thief)
    I'm 18 and I smoke socially (if I'm at a party or out with friends, I'll have a draw or one to myself if I have them). My dad's a very heavy smoker and my mum died of cancer 5 years ago. In the end, I'd say I smoke an average of 5 a week just between days without etc, and I'm certainly not addicted. It's literally something I do on the odd occasion.

    My dad came into my room and told me to come through because we had a very serious discussion to have. He asked me if I smoked, and I admitted it because I didn't see the point in lying at this point. He then launched into this huge rant about how he no longer trusted me and talked about how stupid I was. He was worried about me moving out for uni, but now I think he's seriously doubting letting me go at all.

    The point is that I know that it's a filthy thing to do and all the risks that come with it, but I literally turned 18 two weeks ago and I wanted to try it. I just wanted the experience of it before I leave home. I know how easy it is to get addicted, but that's genuinely not how I use them.

    Can anyone advise me on how to patch things over with him now? He won't let me out of the house because of it, so I can't even enjoy my last week at home with my friends. Please help!
    social smoking is so dumb anyway. Its what people do to look cool. I did it too unfortunately.
    what i'd do is say you felt cool doing it but you knew at the time it was wrong and shouldn't have done it. he probably just wants more assurance you won't do it at uni. say you've been coming to the conclusion that idiots smoke or something.
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by The Milk Thief)
    I'm 18 and I smoke socially (if I'm at a party or out with friends, I'll have a draw or one to myself if I have them). My dad's a very heavy smoker and my mum died of cancer 5 years ago. In the end, I'd say I smoke an average of 5 a week just between days without etc, and I'm certainly not addicted. It's literally something I do on the odd occasion.

    My dad came into my room and told me to come through because we had a very serious discussion to have. He asked me if I smoked, and I admitted it because I didn't see the point in lying at this point. He then launched into this huge rant about how he no longer trusted me and talked about how stupid I was. He was worried about me moving out for uni, but now I think he's seriously doubting letting me go at all.

    The point is that I know that it's a filthy thing to do and all the risks that come with it, but I literally turned 18 two weeks ago and I wanted to try it. I just wanted the experience of it before I leave home. I know how easy it is to get addicted, but that's genuinely not how I use them.

    I totally understand why he's upset about it, but I just really want to fix it now. I'll give it up completely. Can anyone advise me on how to patch things over with him now? Should I hand over the cigarettes I have left? How can I reason with him maturely? He won't let me out of the house because of it, so I can't enjoy my last week at home with my friends. Please help!
    Doing in the first place was pretty stupid but to patch things over call him in to the bathroom and while he watches destroy the **** turn out your pockets don't wear socks so he can see your not hiding any thing then invite him to search your room for any he thinks you might still have promise you'll give up and never do it again and apologise for "betraying his trust" that might help


    Posted from TSR Mobile
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: September 8, 2015
Poll
Cats or dogs?
Useful resources

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.