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please help me understand whats wrong with me!!
i want to know whats wrong with me- if anything...
i got obsessed with certain girl teachers. im a girl too. its not like i love them on have a crush or anything. its different.
i go to extreme lengths to get their attention (usually BAD attention) and find out stuff about them.
i think about them alot.
it really scares me. its getting worse. i have had it for like 6 years. im not in love with them so dont say that. the thought of anything like that is gross.
but the one at the moment... sometimes i think shes nice and stuff but other times i hate her so much and just want to punch her and be as rude and annoying as possible.
whats wrong with me its really freaky and i cant tell anyone its SO embarassing
i got obsessed with certain girl teachers. im a girl too. its not like i love them on have a crush or anything. its different.
i go to extreme lengths to get their attention (usually BAD attention) and find out stuff about them.
i think about them alot.
it really scares me. its getting worse. i have had it for like 6 years. im not in love with them so dont say that. the thought of anything like that is gross.
but the one at the moment... sometimes i think shes nice and stuff but other times i hate her so much and just want to punch her and be as rude and annoying as possible.
whats wrong with me its really freaky and i cant tell anyone its SO embarassing
Reply 2
dont really see whats wrong, everyone wants teachers attention and i usually get it. And usually wanting to punch some of your teachers sounds pretty standard to be honest. its a love-hate relationship.
Reply 4
i understand, i used to be like this - even tried to find stuff about one teacher on the internet. and would just like to see her every day, even just in passing. i think i just really wanted to BE her or something. or wanted her to be a role model for me? idk
i still think about those teachers now i've left school but not everyday, like i used to.
i think this is my biggest secret
i still think about those teachers now i've left school but not everyday, like i used to.
i think this is my biggest secret
Reply 5
same with me. except i told my boyfriend who thinks it was a crush. but it wasn't, it was just a real craving for attention, but only from one person. It was strange because I'm actually quite shy and don't generally try to draw attention to myself.
There was a topic on this about 6 months ago, and this was what I said then, and it's what I stand by now:
To the OP
I have been through something very similar a few times now, when I was at secondary school.
First off is that I really did love them. I absolutely adored them and would have done anything for them. I felt close to them because they understood me and I wanted to give them the same in return. Problem when you're aged 12-15 is trying to reconcile that with the fact that 30-something year old women are not interested in a friendship with a 12-15 year old. Being more mature than my peers didn't help - I consequently wanted that closeness with older people and it was upsetting not to have my feelings returned.
It wasn't physical love although I wouldn't have said that any of the women were ugly. It was emotional love, and now that I've had boyfriends I'd say it was the same sort of emotional love that you feel for someone you're going out with. I'd say it happened due to my social insecurities and the fact that I didn't get on well with my mother, and this was where my feelings for these women became complicated. I wanted their friendship and I felt the same emotionally for them as most people probably feel for a lover, but I also in some ways wanted a replacement mother. I remember wanting them to look after me too.
It's extremely complicated and I didn't know fully how to deal with it. Understandably I think they were a little freaked out by it. I was quite obsessed with them in some ways - not in a stalker type way but I thought about them most of the time, wanted them to care about me the same way I cared about them, felt upset that it wasn't going to happen and yet still hoped it would. It's a tricky thing to understand for people who have never felt it. And I don't want to upset anyone but I think that people who tend to feel these non-sexual feelings so deeply for someone of their own sex are generally looking to fulfil a void in their life that something or someone in their world or society has somehow failed to provide.
And the difficult bit is that time is the only solution. It is different for you because you are older than I was when it happened to me and you are therefore probably able to handle it a bit better as you have experienced more of life. I think the real test will be when you leave college. If this woman chooses to keep in contact with you then she will. Either way then she will always be someone that you admired and aspired to be like. Even though I am no longer in touch with any of these women, I will never forget what they meant to me.
Oh, and for anyone reading this who thinks I'm a freak, then go ahead and think that, but please don't make nasty or bigoted comments. They do not help the original poster and your comments will not change anything, so save it.
To the OP
I have been through something very similar a few times now, when I was at secondary school.
First off is that I really did love them. I absolutely adored them and would have done anything for them. I felt close to them because they understood me and I wanted to give them the same in return. Problem when you're aged 12-15 is trying to reconcile that with the fact that 30-something year old women are not interested in a friendship with a 12-15 year old. Being more mature than my peers didn't help - I consequently wanted that closeness with older people and it was upsetting not to have my feelings returned.
It wasn't physical love although I wouldn't have said that any of the women were ugly. It was emotional love, and now that I've had boyfriends I'd say it was the same sort of emotional love that you feel for someone you're going out with. I'd say it happened due to my social insecurities and the fact that I didn't get on well with my mother, and this was where my feelings for these women became complicated. I wanted their friendship and I felt the same emotionally for them as most people probably feel for a lover, but I also in some ways wanted a replacement mother. I remember wanting them to look after me too.
It's extremely complicated and I didn't know fully how to deal with it. Understandably I think they were a little freaked out by it. I was quite obsessed with them in some ways - not in a stalker type way but I thought about them most of the time, wanted them to care about me the same way I cared about them, felt upset that it wasn't going to happen and yet still hoped it would. It's a tricky thing to understand for people who have never felt it. And I don't want to upset anyone but I think that people who tend to feel these non-sexual feelings so deeply for someone of their own sex are generally looking to fulfil a void in their life that something or someone in their world or society has somehow failed to provide.
And the difficult bit is that time is the only solution. It is different for you because you are older than I was when it happened to me and you are therefore probably able to handle it a bit better as you have experienced more of life. I think the real test will be when you leave college. If this woman chooses to keep in contact with you then she will. Either way then she will always be someone that you admired and aspired to be like. Even though I am no longer in touch with any of these women, I will never forget what they meant to me.
Oh, and for anyone reading this who thinks I'm a freak, then go ahead and think that, but please don't make nasty or bigoted comments. They do not help the original poster and your comments will not change anything, so save it.
Reply 7
I still stand by my very brief post of its pretty standard to want to punch your teacher, once again its a love-hate relationship and you will see loads of those, no relationship has no downsides, if there was i would be in 5 relationships at a time.
you're not a freak and there's nothing wrong with you. hopefully you can realise this from the number of people who have posted on the thread saying they feel the same way. To idolise an older woman and to want attention from them is completely natural, and a lot of people do it. It doesn't mean you are in love with them or that you are homosexual, its just an infatuation that probably just happens when you are at school 
don't worry about it as lots of people, including me and almost everyone posting in this thread has had a similar experience.
xxx
don't worry about it as lots of people, including me and almost everyone posting in this thread has had a similar experience.
xxx
Reply 9
hey op
i think it's just hormones. i used to get really weird feelings too. but they all settled down in upper 6th, and i felt 'normal' again. just ride it out, and it'll go away...
xxxx
i think it's just hormones. i used to get really weird feelings too. but they all settled down in upper 6th, and i felt 'normal' again. just ride it out, and it'll go away...
xxxx
Reply 10
angelil - you summed up exactly how it was for me. i used to make up stories in my head ("fantasies" sounds wrong because i didnt love them in that kind of way) where they'd end up having to look after me or help me out of a bad situation
Reply 11
twizlstikz
i want to know whats wrong with me- if anything...
i got obsessed with certain girl teachers. im a girl too. its not like i love them on have a crush or anything. its different.
i go to extreme lengths to get their attention (usually BAD attention) and find out stuff about them.
i think about them alot.
it really scares me. its getting worse. i have had it for like 6 years. im not in love with them so dont say that. the thought of anything like that is gross.
but the one at the moment... sometimes i think shes nice and stuff but other times i hate her so much and just want to punch her and be as rude and annoying as possible.
whats wrong with me its really freaky and i cant tell anyone its SO embarassing
i got obsessed with certain girl teachers. im a girl too. its not like i love them on have a crush or anything. its different.
i go to extreme lengths to get their attention (usually BAD attention) and find out stuff about them.
i think about them alot.
it really scares me. its getting worse. i have had it for like 6 years. im not in love with them so dont say that. the thought of anything like that is gross.
but the one at the moment... sometimes i think shes nice and stuff but other times i hate her so much and just want to punch her and be as rude and annoying as possible.
whats wrong with me its really freaky and i cant tell anyone its SO embarassing
That's so bizarre. The attention-seeking thing is fine, but the bit about wanting to punch one =...
Reply 12
wanting to punch teachers is fine.
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- Im failing Biology AS Level!!!! PLEASEEEE HELP! :(
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