Choosing uni with my girlfriend Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
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Me and my girlfriend have been in a long-distance relationship (London and Manchester) for 2 years now, we see each other quite regularly, at least every other weekend.

We want to try to go to the same uni, or at least the ones which are close, ie in the same city. Would it be wise to do so? For example choosing all universities which are in London or on the outskirts (such as Brunel) to be able to see each other and possibly move in some time later?
So for example turning down Loughborough which is great for engineering in order to go to a weaker uni (say, Queen Mary's in London) just to be together?

Oh, and my family lives in London as well, whereas her family live abroad and she arrived in the UK to study at the start of A levels

Just to point out, I think we are both quite serious about the relationship and have strong feelings
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Duncan2012
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#2
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You should choose universities on their own merits, not because someone else is going there.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Me and my girlfriend have been in a long-distance relationship (London and Manchester) for 2 years now, we see each other quite regularly, at least every other weekend.

We want to try to go to the same uni, or at least the ones which are close, ie in the same city. Would it be wise to do so? For example choosing all universities which are in London or on the outskirts (such as Brunel) to be able to see each other and possibly move in some time later?
So for example turning down Loughborough which is great for engineering in order to go to a weaker uni (say, Queen Mary's in London) just to be together?

Oh, and my family lives in London as well, whereas her family live abroad and she arrived in the UK to study at the start of A levels

Just to point out, I think we are both quite serious about the relationship and have strong feelings
This is of course completely up to you at the end of the day, but I wouldn't advise that you only go to a uni just because it's in the same area as your partner's. You've managed long-distance for a while already, and while being closer would clearly be preferable, university is a major part of your life. Right now turning down a better uni, and going somewhere you're less happy at, just to be with your partner might seem like a good idea... but many years later, you may regret not going somewhere that really suits you and your potential.

If you're both accepted into unis that are close, and you both love your respective unis, then great. But don't go somewhere you don't love, because it'll be three, long years of your life without much motivation and without much enjoyment. Compromise seems necessary here, unfortunately.
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Hevachan
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#4
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is there any unis she could go to close to loughborough?
i dont think you should go to a uni for her because you never know whats going to happen. sorry thats not what you want to hear but its the truth ><
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Anonymous #3
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I'm sorry, but that is stupid.
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Ed Phelan
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If you want go to Loughborough, then Leicester Uni is decent.

I don't mean to be rude though but you are both young and you have your whole lives ahead of you. University is a time that you discover who you are and have a lot of freedom that you haven't experienced before. I would suggest that you both choose universities that will benefit both of your futures and not just so that you can be together. What if you were to break up after a few months? There is a good chance that one of you will meet someone else. Imagine how you or her would feel living in the same town but not being together.

You need to think about this very carefully and choose what is best for you.
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Josb
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Me and my girlfriend have been in a long-distance relationship (London and Manchester) for 2 years now, we see each other quite regularly, at least every other weekend.

We want to try to go to the same uni, or at least the ones which are close, ie in the same city. Would it be wise to do so? For example choosing all universities which are in London or on the outskirts (such as Brunel) to be able to see each other and possibly move in some time later?
So for example turning down Loughborough which is great for engineering in order to go to a weaker uni (say, Queen Mary's in London) just to be together?

Oh, and my family lives in London as well, whereas her family live abroad and she arrived in the UK to study at the start of A levels

Just to point out, I think we are both quite serious about the relationship and have strong feelings
Both of you should apply to unis that are close to each other, such as Bath/Bristol, Newcastle/Durham, Birmingham/Warwick, and of course London.
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Drewski
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Just to point out, I think we are both quite serious about the relationship and have strong feelings
You might well be, but - and I'm not saying this to be rude, just pointing out a bit of realism - strong feelings between 16-18 are not the same things as strong feelings between 18-21/22 and beyond.
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alexschmalex
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Relationships can end any time but a degree lasts forever. Go to the best uni education wise for each of you, if it happens to be the same one then great but if it's a different one then don't compromise your future for her, it isn't worth it
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AaronImpresswell
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(Original post by Drewski)
You might well be, but - and I'm not saying this to be rude, just pointing out a bit of realism - string feelings between 16-18 are not the same things as strong feelings between 18-21/22 and beyond.
Yeah, wait till you get some of those 18+ string feelz.
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cocre
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Uni is very tough on relationships, you meet new people and feelings change. If you went to the same Uni, broke up but kept bumping into eachother - how would you feel?
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ChancedTravels
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Don't base your decision on where the other is - but as others have said, if you happen to both get offers from uni you love in similar areas, that's great. I know you don't feel it, but you are young. I went to a not-great uni that I didn't know anything about because of the relationship I was in when I was 19 - we were together for two years and co-habiting, the relationship broke down, luckily I transferred, and I'm now engaged to someone else... Life can surprise you.
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e aí rapaz
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#13
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Think of it as four possible outcomes:

1 - Go to same uni, break up = lifetime of regret
2 - Go to same uni, don't break up = lifetime of wondering whether you could've gone to a better uni, since you guys have such a strong relationship anyway, 3 years is nothing in grand scale of things, etc.

3 - Go to different unis, break up = thank GOD you didn't go to a lesser uni just for her
4 - Go to different unis, don't break up = you got everything you wanted, perfect!
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AaronImpresswell
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3. Is what happens in most cases.

Truth.
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