Should he tell his girlfriend he was virgin when they had sex?

OK, this isn't a friend thing, where really it is me and I just wanna know the answer.

Basically my friend really fancied this girl, she had a bit of a reputation and had been with 13 guys, she is 18. Anyways, they had been friends for a while and he really liked her (He talked about her 24/7 - which was a bit annoying at times actually) but anyway, he was a virgin and asked me whether he should tell her he was or not. I said I dunno and he ended up telling her he slept with 3 people, but only had sex a total of 8 times. They are now going out and the other day he asked me if he should tell her he is a virgin, so I asked if he had slept with her and he said yeah and I said then no... what's the point? She'll just kick your ass for lieing to her.

I told my girlfriend I told him this and she went off at how their relationship will be built on lies. My question is... does it even matter now? What should I tell him?

Reply 1

bunthulhu

14

Ahem

I think he should tell her. Honesty is the best policy and I see no reason for her to be mad.

Reply 2

xlouisedoll

16

Technically it doesn't really matter as he isn't a virgin anymore.

But he probably should tell her, just because if he's going to lie to her about something like that..what else will he lie to her about? If she ever found out then she'd probably be quite pissed off, so its probably just best to get it over and done with and out of the way.

Reply 3

Lauren Hart

3

hmm, lies arent a good scene really, but I spose that maybe now its a bit late. hmm, no, I think he should tell her, coz what happens if one day she wants to know more about what they did etc. i dunno, but i wouldnt have lied in teh first place. hmm, it is a tough one/

Reply 4

silverbolt

19

i say no dont tell her, if he really likes her then telling ehr this could just jepordise everything, just let him play it cool for now

Reply 5

The Colonel

13

What difference will it really make? Its not really a long term lie, as he is no longer a virgin :biggrin:

He was just predicting that one day he probably will have slept with 3 girls

Reply 6

Notebooksecrets

11

After the initial "O-M-F-G YOU LIKE TOTALLY LIED TO ME!!!!111!!!!1!" stage, she'd probably find it cute.

Reply 7

L0RA

9

Chances are she could probably tell he was either a virgin or inexperienced so probably knows hes lied about how many girls he's slept with.

Tell him to tell her the truth but not in a 'its a huge deal' kind of way. Chances are she wont mind and if anything will be annoyed he didnt tell her so she could have made it special for him..

Reply 8

Meep!

9

As said above, if she's had the experience, she will KNOW he was a virgin. Who cares, anyway? Some people are insecure about their 'innocence'.

Reply 9

bone-machine

9

unless hes a total natural i think she will have guessed, especially as shes been with so many guys, so better to admit it.

Reply 10

The Colonel

13

bone-machine

unless hes a total natural i think she will have guessed, especially as shes been with so many guys, so better to admit it.

But the fact she hasn't mentioned it, means she probably doesn't think its important to talk about

Reply 11

Romana87

Anonymous

OK, this isn't a friend thing, where really it is me and I just wanna know the answer.

Basically my friend really fancied this girl, she had a bit of a reputation and had been with 13 guys, she is 18. Anyways, they had been friends for a while and he really liked her (He talked about her 24/7 - which was a bit annoying at times actually) but anyway, he was a virgin and asked me whether he should tell her he was or not. I said I dunno and he ended up telling her he slept with 3 people, but only had sex a total of 8 times. They are now going out and the other day he asked me if he should tell her he is a virgin, so I asked if he had slept with her and he said yeah and I said then no... what's the point? She'll just kick your ass for lieing to her.

I told my girlfriend I told him this and she went off at how their relationship will be built on lies. My question is... does it even matter now? What should I tell him?

I don't personally see what good could come of telling the truth, but by not doing so, he's continually lying to her. And that's not good. I agree with your girlfriend. Sorry.

Reply 12

The Colonel

13

Romana87

I don't personally see what good could come of telling the truth, but by not doing so, he's continually lying to her. And that's not good. I agree with your girlfriend. Sorry.

But he's not continually lying unless she asks him again, if she asks again, then tell the truth, otherwise ignorance is bliss

Reply 13

Romana87

Sorry, I don't agree. Sure, it might not be an outright lie, but it's still a far cry from the truth. In my experience, honesty really is the best policy.

Reply 14

xxsarahjwxx

I'd say leave it unless it is ever brought up (and then tell the truth) and tell her when they have been together so long that it doesnt matter.
OR
Get him to pretend to be really embarrassed about it and be all like "There's something i have to tell you but it's really embarrassing, please dont laugh!" so that she thinks it's sweet/she forgets he lied.

Reply 15

mr_person

1

Don't tell her. There's no need.

Reply 16

Anonymous #2

if he told her, she would probably just say "i realised"

Reply 17

LipGloss

Don't tell her. What's done is done.

Reply 18

Dude

14

Theres a chance that she already knows.

If he told her that he had slept with three other girls, then she would expect him to have some basic knowledge (even if it is majorally basic) in how sex works (in other words, how to please a girl, not to go diving straight in etc etc). Since he properlly didn't have a clue what to do in bed, she may have figured it out.

Reply 19

Anthonyjm71

9

tell her you've nothing to hide in telling her the truth!

Should he tell his girlfriend he was virgin when they had sex?

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