Worried about doing stuff with bf

Have been with my bf for a month and the furthest we've gone is pulling, i'm going to his house tomorrow for the day and he has mentioned us going furthur. I have gone furthur with other guys before but not for a long time and i'm really nervous because i'm so self consious and the thought of him even taking my top off scares me as i worry that he'll go off me when he sees my body (which i think is really fat and disgusting etc)
I just don't know how to overcome these nerves as i don't mind doing stuff to him, i just wouldn't feel comfortable him doing it back to me becuase of my self consious issues etc.
Any ideas?
Thanks guys :smile:

Reply 1

HeStoleMyCrayon

do it with the light off

Reply 2

Meep!

9

Err, what do you actually mean by pulling? I don't think I've ever heard that term used within a relationship before. Maybe I just don't listen, though.

Reply 3

mousy

14

damnthelackofnames

Err, what do you actually mean by pulling? I don't think I've ever heard that term used within a relationship before. Maybe I just don't listen, though.

I think she means snogging

Reply 4

SuperhansFavouriteAlsatian

Are you scared your vagina smells? Don't worry, they all do.

Reply 5

bipersona

HeStoleMyCrayon

do it with the light off

Great Advice!.. NOT!!... you obviously feel comfortable with ur bf coz u dont mind the thought of doing stuff with him, if u feel uncomfortable about the way you are then maybe u should tell him ur insecurities, this could help ease ur discomfort as im sure he would be understanding of how u feel. aternatively you could take it slowly or go in the evening, you could have dimmer lights to set out the decor of the room then you might not feel as if ur "on show"- i hope this advice helps but whatever u end up doing have fun! :smile:

Reply 6

fairycakes

12

ew thats an awful word, 'snogging'

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

Yeah because I think that's how all guys think.

*Top comes off*

"Well she's a bit chunky round the middle."

It goes a little more like this.

*Top comes off*

"Breasts :smile:

+ (various happy thoughts with no verbal equivilent)."

Reply 8

mousy

14

fairycakes

ew thats an awful word, 'snogging'

lol, sorry

Reply 9

HeStoleMyCrayon

bipersona

Great Advice!.. NOT!!...

that's what i'd do. or get a blindfold.

Reply 10

Leigh

15

Just tell him you're a bit uneasy, go slow. Just a case of building confidence.

Not sure if this will help or not, but don't worry about your body, he'll have a pretty good idea of what shape you are from seeing you clothed, he won't suddenly see things he'd never noticed while you had a tshirt on.

Reply 11

Anonymous #3

HeStoleMyCrayon

that's what i'd do. or get a blindfold.

wel then ur stupid coz u wouldnt be able 2c wot u were doing :p:

Reply 12

Romana87

Anonymous

Have been with my bf for a month and the furthest we've gone is pulling, i'm going to his house tomorrow for the day and he has mentioned us going furthur. I have gone furthur with other guys before but not for a long time and i'm really nervous because i'm so self consious and the thought of him even taking my top off scares me as i worry that he'll go off me when he sees my body (which i think is really fat and disgusting etc)
I just don't know how to overcome these nerves as i don't mind doing stuff to him, i just wouldn't feel comfortable him doing it back to me becuase of my self consious issues etc.
Any ideas?
Thanks guys :smile:

Firstly, never do anything you don't want to do. If this guy really likes you, he'll accept and respect whatever decision you make. If he likes you, he's not going to be bothered what your body looks like. People of all sizes and shapes have sex, so it's not really relevant. What's more important is how you feel. If you're really not comfortable, then you need to explain to him why, so he doesn't misconstrue it as being because of him. But honestly, the best advice I could give is just let go, relax and have (safe) fun.

Reply 13

HeStoleMyCrayon

Anonymous

wel then ur stupid coz u wouldnt be able 2c wot u were doing :p:

i meant a blindfold for him

Reply 14

Romana87

HeStoleMyCrayon

i meant a blindfold for him

Not everyone's into bondage.

Reply 15

Anonymous #3

HeStoleMyCrayon

i meant a blindfold for him

wot kind of relationships do u have?! she likes the guy dont she, she wont want to blindfold him they want to look in2 eachothers eyes.. duh!

Reply 16

Louise88

I felt the exact same when I first started doing things with my current boyfriend, I know exactly how you're feeling. I was scared that I was too fat and my body was disgusting but when it came down to it, he didn't pay any attention to my body in the slightest. Truth is, I talked it through with my boyfriend and he was very understanding. He was great about it though, to this day he still is. It frustrates him that i've got such a low opinion of myself.

If you are feeling uncomfortable, talk to your boyfriend about it as i'm sure that he will be understanding. Just take things slowly at first and see how things turn out. You don't need to commit to anything just yet, if tomorrow you don't feel up to it, wait and try again some other time. Try not to worry about your body though, he wont be worrying about your body so neither should you. All he will be thinking about is what is going to happen next and I bet he has some insecurites too...

Reply 17

gracie88

14

Louise88

I felt the exact same when I first started doing things with my current boyfriend, I know exactly how you're feeling. I was scared that I was too fat and my body was disgusting but when it came down to it, he didn't pay any attention to my body in the slightest. Truth is, I talked it through with my boyfriend and he was very understanding. He was great about it though, to this day he still is. It frustrates him that i've got such a low opinion of myself.

If you are feeling uncomfortable, talk to your boyfriend about it as i'm sure that he will be understanding. Just take things slowly at first and see how things turn out. You don't need to commit to anything just yet, if tomorrow you don't feel up to it, wait and try again some other time. Try not to worry about your body though, he wont be worrying about your body so neither should you. All he will be thinking about is what is going to happen next and I bet he has some insecurites too...

Seconded. Also i was the same as you Louise & the OP in that i was worried about being too fat, and i still am which frustrates my bf too! At the end of the day if he's with you, he likes you and like King Leigh has said, there's a chance he already has a rough idea of what you'll look like naked :smile:

Reply 18

Helenia

20

Guys are a)not stupid and b)generally quite pervy. Unless you live in baggy trousers and jumpers, he'll have a very good idea about what your body looks like underneath. He's not going to suddenly be turned off when you take off your clothes - in fact the opposite is almost certainly true. If you're not confident in yourself, take it slowly, but don't hide your body because that'll never solve anything. Once he's seen you and told you how lovely you look, it'll be a great confidence booster!

And don't let your lack of confidence inhibit you from having fun - if he wants to do nice things for you, let him - it's only you who's losing out if you don't!

Reply 19

Romana87

I used to feel the same too. Both my past boyfriends, who I was that intimate with, really didn't like it either. They didn't see the fuss. Which goes to show guys can and do look passed the superficial. They're more likely to pay attention to what you're insecure about it if you place importance and focus on those areas. Body shape/size honestly bears no relation to how much fun you can have/whether you're any good/how much fun they have etc...

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