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Why is this considered transphobic? watch

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    So there's this new series that has started in the UK called 'Boy meets Girl'. It's about how this guy and a transwoman meet and whatever - don't think I'll be watching it, but it's had good reviews.

    Anyway, in the series, he accepts what she is and continues to date her.

    But what if I was in the guy's situation and I said no, that I wouldn't want to date her... is that transphobic?

    If my reasoning is because I want to date a woman?

    If you want people to accept transgenderism, shouldn't we have to accept that a lot of people, like me, don't want to date them?

    I don't look down on transexuals. I think they're incredibly brave and should be allowed to do whatever they please... but I feel trapped if I deny them.
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    Nobody is forcing you bud, but **** it why not id give one a go if they were good looking of course (I'm no savage)
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    Its not inherently transphobic not to date someone, if youre simple not interested. However if your reasoning is that you want to date a woman, its nit the objection itself that is transphobic, more the fact that you wouldnt consider that person a woman.
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    QUOTEhttp://cdncache-a.akamaihd.net/items...rrow-10x10.png=SophieBarlow87;59246021]Its not inherently transphobic not to date someone, if youre simple not interested. However if your reasoning is that you want to date a woman, its nit the objection itself that is transphobic, more the fact that you wouldnt consider that person a woman.[/QUOTE]

    Her Gender may be female... but her biological sex isn't.

    A woman would have her gender as female and her biological sex as female too... something a transwoman lacks.

    Bottom line is that I'm not interested.
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    lol it's not transphobic to not want to date trans people. You can date who ever you want.
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    (Original post by SophieBarlow87)
    Its not inherently transphobic not to date someone, if youre simple not interested. However if your reasoning is that you want to date a woman, its nit the objection itself that is transphobic, more the fact that you wouldnt consider that person a woman.
    Even if you don't consider the person to be a woman, how is it transphobic? You're not afraid of them, you don't dislike them or have any other negative or antagonistic feelings towards them. You're just using terminology in a different way from them.
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    There's nothing wrong in refusing to date anybody; if you didn't want to date someone because they had freckles, or blue eyes, or predominantly wore shirts instead of t shirts, so be it. If you don't want to date transpeople, fair enough.

    Your reasons may be transphobic, but if it was due to comfortableness, or anatomy, fair enough. Nobody has the right to stop you, regardless. Providing that you just treat them with the same amount of respect given to any stranger, you should be fine. Just politely refuse.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So there's this new series that has started in the UK called 'Boy meets Girl'. It's about how this guy and a transwoman meet and whatever - don't think I'll be watching it, but it's had good reviews.

    Anyway, in the series, he accepts what she is and continues to date her.

    But what if I was in the guy's situation and I said no, that I wouldn't want to date her... is that transphobic?

    If my reasoning is because I want to date a woman?

    If you want people to accept transgenderism, shouldn't we have to accept that a lot of people, like me, don't want to date them?

    I don't look down on transexuals. I think they're incredibly brave and should be allowed to do whatever they please... but I feel trapped if I deny them.
    They are pretending to be another sex so it is perfectly fine to turn them down without labelling you with another ridiculous label


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    (Original post by tazarooni89)
    Even if you don't consider the person to be a woman, how is it transphobic? You're not afraid of them, you don't dislike them or have any other negative or antagonistic feelings towards them. You're just using terminology in a different way from them.
    Yep


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    Saying it's transphobic to not want to date a trans person is like saying it's homophobic to not date someone of the same gender. If it's not unfair discrimination to take someone's gender into account when dating someone, I don't see why having an operation to look different actually changes anything. Some people just really aren't into it, and that's ok. People get overdefensive because of how much judgement trans people often face, but that doesn't take away another person's right to say they're simply not into that.
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    I wouldn't date why.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So there's this new series that has started in the UK called 'Boy meets Girl'. It's about how this guy and a transwoman meet and whatever - don't think I'll be watching it, but it's had good reviews.

    Anyway, in the series, he accepts what she is and continues to date her.

    But what if I was in the guy's situation and I said no, that I wouldn't want to date her... is that transphobic?

    If my reasoning is because I want to date a woman?

    If you want people to accept transgenderism, shouldn't we have to accept that a lot of people, like me, don't want to date them?

    I don't look down on transexuals. I think they're incredibly brave and should be allowed to do whatever they please... but I feel trapped if I deny them.
    It's a conondrum, and hopefully anyone reading your post can appreciate that. On the one hand it sounds like you're very supportive of trans people and their rights, and on the other hand you can't help that you're not very enthusiastic about dating a trans woman.

    It is transphobic to feel that way... but then attraction is very prejudiced. For example, I prefer brunettes with light eyes to those with dark eyes, generally. And I also am generally more attracted to white people. In no other aspect of my life am I racist or eye colour-ist but when it comes to attraction it's not really something that can be helped or policed. It is how it is.

    Also a political correctness point - "trans" is better to say than "transgender". Also, if you dated a trans woman you would indeed be dating a woman, because, like, that's what being a trans 'she' is about because like she's a woman. That's the point. You geddit.
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    (Original post by tazarooni89)
    Even if you don't consider the person to be a woman, how is it transphobic? You're not afraid of them, you don't dislike them or have any other negative or antagonistic feelings towards them. You're just using terminology in a different way from them.
    7ts not the terminology is the fact. Its considered transphobic because youre not acknowledging their gender, youre saying that a transwoman is not a woman, thus saying that her identity isnt real. If you said a gay man wasnt a real man but you didnt dislike them in any way, that would still be quite homophobic would it not?
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    It's my choice who I want to date. I personally just don't see myself with a transexual.
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    The reason that this may be construe as transphobic is the fact that trans-women are women, despite maybe having different genitalia or gonads. Hence, by saying that you wouldn't date a trans-woman because you want to date a woman, you are consciously invalidating the indentities of all trans-women by saying that they are not women. I hope this makes sense to you.
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    (Original post by SophieBarlow87)
    7ts not the terminology is the fact. Its considered transphobic because yourehttp://cdncache-a.akamaihd.net/items...rrow-10x10.png not acknowledging their gender, youre saying that a transwoman is not a woman, thus saying that her identity isnt real. If you said a gay man wasnt a real man but you didnt dislike them in any way, that would still be quite homophobic would it not?
    She's not a woman, she's a transwoman. A man who has transitioned to a woman.

    A Gay man is biologically and genetically a man. These men were born men and are men, it's just that they are attracted to men and only men that is different.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So there's this new series that has started in the UK called 'Boy meets Girl'. It's about how this guy and a transwoman meet and whatever - don't think I'll be watching it, but it's had good reviews.

    Anyway, in the series, he accepts what she is and continues to date her.

    But what if I was in the guy's situation and I said no, that I wouldn't want to date her... is that transphobic?

    If my reasoning is because I want to date a woman?

    If you want people to accept transgenderism, shouldn't we have to accept that a lot of people, like me, don't want to date them?

    I don't look down on transexuals. I think they're incredibly brave and should be allowed to do whatever they please... but I feel trapped if I deny them.
    Jesus Christ, it feels like in this day and age even the thought of rejecting someone out of preference makes you evil and transphobic.
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    (Original post by buckeybarnes)
    The reason that this may be construe as transphobic is the fact that trans-women are women, despite maybe having different genitalia or gonads. Hence, by saying that you wouldn't date a trans-woman because you want to date a woman, you are consciously invalidating the indentities of all trans-women by saying that they are not women. I hope this makes sense to you.
    I think what the OP was trying to say though is that he probably wants to date someone who is female by sex and gender (I'm not sure what the correct wording is regarding separating sex and gender out, so apologies if I got the wording wrong!)

    But as I was saying I think the "average joe" on the street desires their partner to have the same sex as gender, i.e. their genitalia to match the gender they identify as. I'm sure you can imagine that in the two most common gender fluidity examples (M to F and F to M) there could easily be issues either romantically or sexually, both pre and post-op.

    I mean a person will obviously want to date someone who identifies as the gender they desire (it would be strange for a straight guy to date a F to M person because they were originally F), but without being crude, they probably also want body part compatibility so pre-op (M to F) this would bring about very obvious issues, and post-op they might not be comfortable with medically constructed genetalia.

    Hope I'm being clear. Not singling you out by the way! Just thought it was a good post to quote (and I wanted to confirm what you meant )
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    This whole things is stupid. You can date who you want. If I don't want to date a trans person because they are trans it does not make me transphobic
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    It's not transphobic necessarily to reject a transwoman. You don't have to date anyone you don't feel comfortable dating. The reason people are offended is because essentially they are female, they may not have been born female or have had the surgery yet or ever, and you don't have to settle for them if you don't want to, but that doesn't change that they are a woman. Saying you want to date a woman and not them is obviously then offensive to their whole being and identity. It's just like having a girl say to guy, who was born male, I only want to date a man. He identifies as a man, so whatever her definition of a man doesn't matter in terms of his feelings, she's offended his sense of identity.
 
 
 
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