Turn on thread page Beta

I've messed up a lot and my dad won't trust me or let me move out anymore, help? watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    I've messed up a lot recently. I turned 18 a couple of weeks ago and bought cigarettes to try and my dad found them. I realise this was incredibly daft, so please don't lecture me on it. I was curious, but I know it was stupid. My dad found out and went mad at me. I was out with friends tonight at a local pub because I'm due to move out tomorrow and I went back to a friend's for a little while afterwards because she had forgotten some of my extra birthday presents.

    As a result, I arrived home at one o'clock (not much later than a usual night out). My dad was drunk and told me that I was being completely unreasonable and that he didn't trust me at all anymore. He called me a slapper and said he'd had enough of me, told me to **** off and sent me to bed. My dad's a single parent and I understand the pressure that he's put under. I realise how much of a disappointment I am to him. I know how much I've messed this up. And I'm genuinely sorry for it.

    I'm honestly terrified of him. I don't know what to do. I understand that I messed up with the cigarettes, but I don't know how to fix it now. He's said that my moving out for university is now completely out of the question too. I don't know what to do. Please, can anyone give me any advice?

    Edit: I should mention how reliant I currently am on my dad. I live on a farm in the middle of nowhere so I physically can't leave here without him taking me. I won't be able to afford anything on my own if he isn't supporting me. I'm just so worried.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by The Milk Thief)
    I've messed up a lot recently. I turned 18 a couple of weeks ago and bought cigarettes to try and my dad found them. I realise this was incredibly daft, so please don't lecture me on it. I was curious, but I know it was stupid. My dad found out and went mad at me. I was out with friends tonight at a local pub because I'm due to move out tomorrow and I went back to a friend's for a little while afterwards because she had forgotten some of my extra birthday presents.

    As a result, I arrived home at one o'clock (not much later than a usual night out). My dad was drunk and told me that I was being completely unreasonable and that he didn't trust me at all anymore. He called me a slapper and said he'd had enough of me, told me to **** off and sent me to bed. My dad's a single parent and I understand the pressure that he's put under. I realise how much of a disappointment I am to him. I know how much I've messed this up. And I'm genuinely sorry for it.

    I'm honestly terrified of him. I don't know what to do. I understand that I messed up with the cigarettes, but I don't know how to fix it now. He's said that my moving out for university is now completely out of the question too. I don't know what to do. Please, can anyone give me any advice?

    No offence but your dad sounds scarily controlling.

    You made a mistake.

    A mistake at least 40% of people make.

    It is disproportionate to tell you are not allowed to go to uni.

    Calling you names is verbal abuse,

    Go to uni, if he refuses to give you money there are hardship funds in place/ ways for you to get more funding and you may have to work all the summer holidays between uni years but surely that's better then staying with someone you are terrified off?
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    "let you." I don't understand. Are you not an adult?
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by The Milk Thief)
    I've messed up a lot recently. I turned 18 a couple of weeks ago and bought cigarettes to try and my dad found them. I realise this was incredibly daft, so please don't lecture me on it. I was curious, but I know it was stupid. My dad found out and went mad at me. I was out with friends tonight at a local pub because I'm due to move out tomorrow and I went back to a friend's for a little while afterwards because she had forgotten some of my extra birthday presents.

    As a result, I arrived home at one o'clock (not much later than a usual night out). My dad was drunk and told me that I was being completely unreasonable and that he didn't trust me at all anymore. He called me a slapper and said he'd had enough of me, told me to **** off and sent me to bed. My dad's a single parent and I understand the pressure that he's put under. I realise how much of a disappointment I am to him. I know how much I've messed this up. And I'm genuinely sorry for it.

    I'm honestly terrified of him. I don't know what to do. I understand that I messed up with the cigarettes, but I don't know how to fix it now. He's said that my moving out for university is now completely out of the question too. I don't know what to do. Please, can anyone give me any advice?
    yout dad is a ******, tell him to do one. wouldn't let no drunk disrespect me like dat.

    also, you sound like a victim of domestic abuse. "I'm genuinely sorry". *******s, no one is sorry for drinking and smoking. It's what young people love to do.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    You haven't done anything wrong at all lol. Your dad sounds abusive and horrible tbh. I would move out asap.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    you're dads an ******* I would have put him in his place years ago. I'm in my mid 20s, at 18 I was having fist fights with my dad, I never won but it let him know I wont take **** from him. Not suggesting you do the same but you should show abit more authority.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by The Milk Thief)
    I've messed up a lot recently. I turned 18 a couple of weeks ago and bought cigarettes to try and my dad found them. I realise this was incredibly daft, so please don't lecture me on it. I was curious, but I know it was stupid. My dad found out and went mad at me. I was out with friends tonight at a local pub because I'm due to move out tomorrow and I went back to a friend's for a little while afterwards because she had forgotten some of my extra birthday presents.

    As a result, I arrived home at one o'clock (not much later than a usual night out). My dad was drunk and told me that I was being completely unreasonable and that he didn't trust me at all anymore. He called me a slapper and said he'd had enough of me, told me to **** off and sent me to bed. My dad's a single parent and I understand the pressure that he's put under. I realise how much of a disappointment I am to him. I know how much I've messed this up. And I'm genuinely sorry for it.

    I'm honestly terrified of him. I don't know what to do. I understand that I messed up with the cigarettes, but I don't know how to fix it now. He's said that my moving out for university is now completely out of the question too. I don't know what to do. Please, can anyone give me any advice?
    Understandable that this happened, you have your whole life to experiment so chill with the 'being wild' thing even though it's not that wild, in the eyes of protective parents it is.

    - your dad was drunk, so let him cool off, leave him alone
    -Another family member you can talk to and persuade to speak with your dad?

    -You are not a disappointment trust me it's horrible to argue with parents and put pressure on them knowingly, you need to tell those feelings to your father as hard as it may be, because according to him you may be unsympathetic towards his situation there's a lot of burden on parents and the worst thing is when kids be heartless and be completely oblivious of what our parents are going through.

    - You need to tell him you're sorry and acknowledge that you were wrong for doing what you did, show him you are aware your actions were bad. Tell him the cigs was just an experiment that you'll never try again. Don't talk back just be calm.

    -This one is reallllly corny but do something you would never do, show signs of appreciation, not kiss ass but more like be more helpful genuinely
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Treypound)
    you're dads an ******* I would have put him in his place years ago. I'm in my mid 20s, at 18 I was having fist fights with my dad, I never won but it let him know I wont take **** from him. Not suggesting you do the same but you should show abit more authority.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Damn that's a harsh attitude, besides every parent is different, that sounds like an unhealthy relationship
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ghaniza)
    Damn that's a harsh attitude, besides every parent is different, that sounds like an unhealthy relationship
    Not really.. we get on now but he still knows if he acts up I'll flatline him.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by The Milk Thief)
    I've messed up a lot recently. I turned 18 a couple of weeks ago and bought cigarettes to try and my dad found them. I realise this was incredibly daft, so please don't lecture me on it. I was curious, but I know it was stupid. My dad found out and went mad at me. I was out with friends tonight at a local pub because I'm due to move out tomorrow and I went back to a friend's for a little while afterwards because she had forgotten some of my extra birthday presents.

    As a result, I arrived home at one o'clock (not much later than a usual night out). My dad was drunk and told me that I was being completely unreasonable and that he didn't trust me at all anymore. He called me a slapper and said he'd had enough of me, told me to **** off and sent me to bed. My dad's a single parent and I understand the pressure that he's put under. I realise how much of a disappointment I am to him. I know how much I've messed this up. And I'm genuinely sorry for it.

    I'm honestly terrified of him. I don't know what to do. I understand that I messed up with the cigarettes, but I don't know how to fix it now. He's said that my moving out for university is now completely out of the question too. I don't know what to do. Please, can anyone give me any advice?

    Edit: I should mention how reliant I currently am on my dad. I live on a farm in the middle of nowhere so I physically can't leave here without him taking me. I won't be able to afford anything on my own if he isn't supporting me. I'm just so worried.
    Hiya

    If you can't physically leave without him, what transport did you use to return home from your night out? Could you use the same transport to get to a train station? You only need to take a small bag to uni at first. Or do you have any friends who could drive you?
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by The Milk Thief)
    I've messed up a lot recently. I turned 18 a couple of weeks ago and bought cigarettes to try and my dad found them. I realise this was incredibly daft, so please don't lecture me on it. I was curious, but I know it was stupid. My dad found out and went mad at me. I was out with friends tonight at a local pub because I'm due to move out tomorrow and I went back to a friend's for a little while afterwards because she had forgotten some of my extra birthday presents.

    As a result, I arrived home at one o'clock (not much later than a usual night out). My dad was drunk and told me that I was being completely unreasonable and that he didn't trust me at all anymore. He called me a slapper and said he'd had enough of me, told me to **** off and sent me to bed. My dad's a single parent and I understand the pressure that he's put under. I realise how much of a disappointment I am to him. I know how much I've messed this up. And I'm genuinely sorry for it.

    I'm honestly terrified of him. I don't know what to do. I understand that I messed up with the cigarettes, but I don't know how to fix it now. He's said that my moving out for university is now completely out of the question too. I don't know what to do. Please, can anyone give me any advice?

    Edit: I should mention how reliant I currently am on my dad. I live on a farm in the middle of nowhere so I physically can't leave here without him taking me. I won't be able to afford anything on my own if he isn't supporting me. I'm just so worried.
    First my advice is to stop smoking. Go and apologize to your Dad(even if you feel he is wrong). Then definitely go to Uni . Ive seen that you got offers from Glasgow which is fantastic. Never miss this opportunity !
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TheWaffle)
    Hiya

    If you can't physically leave without him, what transport did you use to return home from your night out? Could you use the same transport to get to a train station? You only need to take a small bag to uni at first. Or do you have any friends who could drive you?
    I got a taxi home and walked about half a mile up the country road. They don't come out to pick me up unfortunately, they'll only drop me off because of where I live. I've already asked my friends and family but no one's free to take me. I really wouldn't want to drag them into this mess anyway tbh.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by The Milk Thief)
    I got a taxi home and walked about half a mile up the country road. They don't come out to pick me up unfortunately, they'll only drop me off because of where I live. I've already asked my friends and family but no one's free to take me. I really wouldn't want to drag them into this mess anyway tbh.
    If worst came to worst could you take a small bag to where the taxi could pick you up from and then use it to get to the train station? When you get to uni the students union should be able to help with getting you settled long term.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    I think you need to have a heart-to-heart chat with your dad tbh. OK, you messed up, apologise and he should forgive you. Do you think your dad might be worried about 'losing' you to Uni, its a new world for the both of you! Personally, I wouldn't just walk out without a chat - it will probably cause more problems longer term.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by scotttb)
    "let you." I don't understand. Are you not an adult?
    Yes, but she's still a dependent.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    I think a really big apology from you, and tell him you do appreciate everything he does and how difficult it is being a dad. :ashamed::adore:

    Then...

    see what he says and hope he's in a better mood. :goodluck:

    My dad used to be just like this. So I know what's it like. :sad:
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: September 10, 2015
Poll
How are you feeling in the run-up to Results Day 2018?
Useful resources
AtCTs

Ask the Community Team

Got a question about the site content or our moderation? Ask here.

Welcome Lounge

Welcome Lounge

We're a friendly bunch. Post here if you're new to TSR.

Groups associated with this forum:

View associated groups

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.